Ol’ Hambo Is Asking for Your Help

This is your big opportunity to help Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. He just posted this at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: Help the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum Win “Best Religious Museum” 2020.

That’s right — Hambo wants you to help not only the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum, but also his exact replica of Noah’s Ark known as Ark Encounter. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

USA Today is featuring a “10 Best” contest for their “Reader’s Choice 2020,” and one of the categories is “Best Religious Museum” in the US. Twenty religious attractions are featured, and two you will probably recognize: the Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum, of course.

What a thrilling contest! If you click on that link (it takes you to the website of USA Today), you’ll see an amazing list of places one can visit. Hambo says:

We need your help to win! The “Reader’s Choice 2020” designations are decided by popular vote. As of the time of this blog posting, the Ark Encounter is sitting at number one and the Creation Museum at number four. We’d love to see the Ark and the museum finish first and second on the list. Please consider voting for your favorite attraction at this link

You will note, dear reader, that we’re including Hambo’s links. We want to make this easy for you. He tells us:

You can vote for one attraction every day [What?] from now until Monday, February 17, at noon Eastern Time. Voting is very easy; you don’t even need to fill in an email address. Just click on the word “vote” under the image of the Ark or the Creation Museum.

Hambo’s droolers are being told to vote for his tourist attractions over and over again — every day! That didn’t sound right, so we checked out the rules at the USA Today contest website. Those are the rules! They tell everyone to do it. Here are their official Readers’ Choice rules. They say, in bold font no less: “Limit one (1) vote per person, per category, per day.” So Hambo is just playing by the rules.

His post ends with this:

Please visit this link [see above] to vote daily [Yeah, daily!], and then be sure to share this contest on social media so your family and friends can vote as well!

Okay dear reader. Hambo wants your vote — or rather, your votes, so go ahead and give him what he wants. Or maybe you’ll want to vote for a different item on the list each day. Some of them look interesting. It’s up to you.

Copyright © 2020. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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20 responses to “Ol’ Hambo Is Asking for Your Help

  1. I say that we all agree on one of these real museums, and then vote every day to displace Hambo’s side shows. How about the Loyola University Museum of Art? I just voted for it.

  2. @Douglas – Good idea! Just voted.

  3. As they say – Vote Early and Vote Often!

  4. Loyola it is, then.

    Day 1:

    “We appreciate your vote!
    Loyola University Museum of Art is currently ranked 10 of 20.”

  5. SC: “Limit one (1) vote per person, per category, per day.”

    Note that USA Today defines a “day” as midnight to midnight EST.

    I voted at 11 PM EST, and then revisited the site a couple minutes later to find this message:

    USA Today: “It looks like you’ve already participated in this contest today. You can vote again in 58 minutes!”

    Y’all’ve got about 45 minutes to get your votes in for today.

  6. Stephen Kennedy

    I also voted for Loyola. It actually seems like a real museum rather than second rate road side attractions like the creation museum and the ark park.

  7. Alas, alas, there is a restriction. I am not allowed to vote due to my location and crossing a small and a big pond is way beyond my financial means, I’m afraid. I wish the regulars success with their attempt to sabotage Ol’Hambo’s unchristian vanity!

  8. I deleted my history and voted 3 times 🙂

  9. Just had my second go at Loyola, now need to wait another 19hrs and 40 min for the third round.
    @FrankB: They alloy you to vote across the Pacific. Weird. Perhaps they are not aware that there are people down under.

  10. ok, I’m writing an IP spoofer program so I can vote more and automated.

  11. don’t any of you understand game theory? Don’t got for Loyoa, it’s too far down on the list. Go for the Bible History Museum, will be mucho easier to get it into #1.

  12. K – good point. I chose Loyola because it actually looks like a reasonable museum. Voting for a higher up makes mathematical sense, although I am not a fan of the Bible History Museum.

  13. I understand the chances are better by voting for Museum of the Bible, but, as an archaeologist, I can’t bring myself to do it. (Google hobby lobby cuneiform or the like to see why.)

    I’ll check out 3-9. Just voted Loyola.

  14. Bah, Bible History Museum. A rotting pile of misinformation by any other name would smell as fetid.

  15. Michael Fugate

    I think voting for the Islam museum would annoy Ham more – isn’t that the point?

  16. I voted Loyola a few times.

  17. But if the result would be unwelcome to the evangelicals, then it would be taken as motivation to support more evangelism.

  18. Michael Fugate

    Wouldn’t Ham view any poll that didn’t pick him #1 as a need for more evangelism? There were countless revivals when 95% of the population would have identified as Christian – they weren’t the right kind of Christian.

  19. Well we cannot have the Hambone win. Museum of the Bible would get my vote. Despite the tight connection with Hobby Lobby, and many of the items in the museum are stolen artifacts. And the message is heavily evangelical. Even with all that, there is some good data and lots of real information about the Bible there.