We are always surprised by what we find at the personal blog of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. He seems to have an obsession with Neanderthals, because he’s been writing so much about them lately — and they’re not mentioned in scripture at all.
He posted this a couple of days ago: Study: Neanderthals Could Swim and Dive. It’s the latest in a whole series of Neanderthal posts, most recently Hambo and the Neanderthals. Before that there was Hambo and His Neanderthal Relatives, and also Hambo Says Neanderthals Were Fully Human.
We know you’re anxious to learn what he’s saying now, so here are some excerpts from his new post, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
When you first learned about Neanderthals, you were probably told they were less-than-intelligent brutes who lived a primitive lifestyle a long time ago. I was told that when I went to high school and university. That’s how they’re still depicted in many museums, textbooks, and in the popular imagination.
That can’t be right. If they’re primitive brutes, that means they’re part of the sinful concept of evolution. Hambo says:
But that story simply doesn’t match with what we now know about Neanderthals. And that was confirmed yet again in a recent study of seashells.
That “recent study” Hambo mentioned is a link to this article at Fox News: Neanderthal beachcombers went diving for seashells, scientists discover. One thing in that story Hambo doesn’t mention is this:
The closest human species to homo sapiens, Neanderthals lived in Eurasia for around 350,000 years. Scientists in Poland report that Neanderthals in Europe mostly became extinct 35,000 years ago.
Let’s see what Hambo found interesting enough to blog about. He tells us:
Scientists recently examined shells they associate with Neanderthals, discovered in a beachside cave in Italy back in 1949. These shells had been modified to serve as tools, something that has been known for a long time. But a closer look at some of the shell tools, particularly how rough or smooth the edges and faces were, revealed that Neanderthals appear to have grabbed some of them from off the beach, but others required they dive six to thirteen feet to harvest the living organism from the ocean floor.
What does that mean to Hambo? He continues:
The lead author of the study says,
[Fox News quotes Paola Villa:] People are beginning to understand that Neanderthals didn’t just hunt large mammals . . . .They also did things like freshwater fishing and even skin diving.
Why does that impress Hambo? Let’s read on:
The picture of Neanderthals keeps changing as more and more evidence confirms that they were intelligent and capable of taking advantage of the resources around them, just as modern man is.
Well, apparently they could dive for shellfish. For some reason that means a lot to Hambo. He says:
That is exactly what was expected from a biblical worldview. [What?] Neanderthals are humans, just like us, made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27), descendants of Adam and Eve.
It’s difficult to believe that even Hambo could write something like that and actually post it on his website, but that’s what he did. He finishes with this:
Far from being mysterious human cousins, they are descendants of Noah’s family, who lived in the harsh world after the flood. And, apparently, some of them enjoyed shellfish!
It doesn’t take much to impress ol’ Hambo. But then, why should it? He spends his days surrounded by creationists.
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