Creationist Wisdom #1,030: The End Is Nigh

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Journal Pioneer of Summerside, Prince Edward Island. The title is BIBLE FACTS: The great flood. It’s actually a column, and the newspaper doesn’t have a comments feature.

Unless the letter-writer is a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name — but today we’ve got a preacher. It’s Ian Kurylyk, pastor at the Summerside Fundamental Baptist Church. We wrote about one of his columns six years ago — see #391: Canadian Preacher.

We’ll give you some excerpts from the rev’s column, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, some bold font for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Okay, here we go:

“And the waters prevailed exceedingly upon the earth; and all the high hills, that were under the whole heaven, were covered” (Genesis 7:19). This text calls to mind the colourful illustrations used in Christian literature and Bible books written for children to teach them the reality of the world-wide catastrophe known as the Great Flood. Yet it is an event that is important for adults also to understand, for its significance in understanding the ways of God as revealed in the history of the world.

Yes, dear reader, it’s important for you to understand the significance of the Flood. The rev says:

The flood was sent by God to the earth several thousand years ago because of the rejection of the knowledge of God and world-wide capitulation to wickedness. [Skipping a bible quote.] Because the flood is a powerful example of the truth that God intervenes in the affairs of men to judge sins, the great flood has been called a myth. Some truths are inconvenient to Humanist thinking.

Do you find The Truth inconvenient, dear reader? Then pay attention. The rev tells us:

However, closing one’s eyes to reality does not change it. The flood has left its mark on the whole planet for those who are willing to consider plain evidence. [Don’t ignore the evidence, dear reader!] God intended people to be able to see the scars of this judgment long after to know how much He hates sin. The evidence can be observed both on the surface and under the surface in the many geological formations of the earth. Not all people and not all “experts” or scientists interpret geological phenomena as the result of great ages over millions of years. A better explanation is the flood.

Yes, that’s a better explanation. He continues:

Anybody with internet access can find lots of good science to explain the geological facts we observe in terms of Noah’s flood. Simply Google words like creation science and Mount St. Helens together. You will see that modern cataclysmic events reveal how a world-wide flood gives a very satisfactory explanation of the Grand Canyon without the passage of millions of years. It is also true that flood traditions have been handed down in many diverse cultures the world over.

You can’t deny it, dear reader. The rev has evidence! Let’s read on:

The Bible tells us that world conditions in the days of Noah and the flood that followed are a pattern to be repeated in these last days. The same moral and spiritual ruin was foretold by Jesus to happen again, and it is not hard to see these prophecies being fulfilled in our own time.

Egad, the end is nigh! Another excerpt:

The world will not be destroyed again by water, but God does promise to intervene by earth-shaking events that will also lead up to the Second Coming of the rightful King, Jesus Christ.

Fortunately, in his last paragraph, the rev reveals what we can do about it. Here it is:

These things are made known beforehand so concerned people will be able to escape the terrible events foretold in the Book of The Revelation, the Apocalypse. We still live today in a time of opportunity, a day of salvation when anyone who is willing to turn to Jesus Christ in faith is promised forgiveness of sin and eternal life.

Thanks to the rev’s column, you now know everything you need to know, dear reader, and you can face The End without fear.

Copyright © 2020. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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15 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #1,030: The End Is Nigh

  1. The usual combination of pseudo-literalism and Judgement Day. The bloke’s a loon. There’s no reason to believe that humans in “the days of Noah” were any more depraved than now, or any time before or since. More violent, perhaps, although there’s surprisingly little evidence for it, but hardly any morally different overall.

    And of course, surprise surprise, there’s absolutely no evidence whatsoever for a flood that covered the whole Earth at any time, nor could there ever have been one, because there isn’t enough water on the planet to do it, unless it were planed flat, with no basins for the oceans. The literalist nonsense about the flood carving out its own basins is as crazy as the rest of their foolishness – a mighty run-off would necessarily have the opposite effect. It would fill any depressions in. Oh, so it’s another miracle, then. God resculpted the planet. And made the waste heat of friction just… go away. Well, why not? He’s God, isn’t He? Only there’s no mention of this miracle in scripture. Genesis simply supposes that the world went back to being as it was before. Only there were now only eight human beings to repopulate it, and to create all the ancient civilizations, Old and New World, in less than five hundred years. Except those that actually antedated the Flood, and oddly, didn’t seem to notice it, except as an ancient legend in their time. Yeah, right.

    These idiots read their science off the intellectual equivalent of the back of crackerjack boxes. No, worse. The manufacturers of crackerjacks can be prosecuted if their advertising actually makes false statements about the product. But the fundies do worse still when it comes to history, theology or understanding of the Bible. For that, they consult only the voices in their heads. No, really.

    As for Jesus’s predictions about future events, well, he did predict his own demise, but he also said he’d return in glory with angels before all his hearers died. Didn’t happen. Around 100 CE his followers started claiming that he’d just slipped a decimal point or two, and what’s a thousand years to God? Sure, sure. Tell me when it happens.

  2. In the good old days, there were world wars, colonialism, slavery, genocides.

  3. chris schilling

    John of Patmos, revered by schizophrenics the world over. The Book of Revelation probably started out as a schoolboy essay — along the lines of “What I Did On My Holidays” — and then got quickly out of hand.

    You know the end is well and truly nigh — at least on the sanity level — when people start taking Revelation seriously.

  4. “anybody with internet access can find lots of good science”
    What did I just write? Creacrappers mean with “science” something different than we. Here you have it. “Good science” is stuff that confirms what IanK’s personal interpretation of his favourite Holy Book; (his) theology is the queen of science. Take this:

    “The same moral and spiritual ruin was foretold by Jesus to happen again”
    IanK carefully omits “within a generation”.

    “it is not hard to see these prophecies being fulfilled in our own time.”
    Or in any time interval in the past or future.

    “We still live today in a time of opportunity”
    combined with

    “God does promise to intervene by earth-shaking events”
    is the real fun. Such earth-shaking events are already happening; it’s called climate change. Guess who are the ones refusing to recognize it? Yup, IanK and his folks.

  5. Laurette McGovern

    Indeed, god hated wickedness so much that he was willing to murder over 99.9999% of the human population to show his love, not to mention all those countless wicked lions and tigers and bears and sheep and deer and everything else upon the earth’s surface. Good thing the devil wasn’t in charge or things really could have been terrible.

  6. “lions and tigers and bears”? Oh my!

  7. Charley Horse X

    Pastor of a very small church in an commercial area. Much more damage to public schools and science will be the appointment of Jay Sekulow to the Supreme Court. That is making the news today as Trump supporters want to make that happen. The court could easily become a bastion of dominionists if Trump is able to appoint one or more justices.

  8. Michael Fugate

    One response I have seen to “explain” evil is human free will. As if that were an explanation. It might say something about human on human violence, but does it make any difference for cancer or natural disasters? How does human free will differ if there is a God and if there is no God?

  9. @Charley Horse X – Indeed, here is an article by Jay Sekulow “Let’s welcome the teaching of Intelligent Design”, written in 2005

  10. Charley Horse X

    There is a chance Sekulow’s business practices will bring him down. Or at least will be grounds to deny him being approved by the Senate. Definitely will be denied if Dems take control of the Senate. See….

    QUOTE: Charity watchdogs for years have raised concerns about the
    blurred lines between for-profit businesses tied to Sekulow and the complex web of non-profit entities he and his family control.
    “Charities are not supposed to be taking sides in partisan political activities, such as providing legal services to benefit a politician in an impeachment trial,” Borochoff said. “Regulators should investigate whether or not charitable resources, such as office, labor, equipment, etc., are being wrongly utilized to benefit Sekulow’s for-profit law firm.”

  11. From the link provided by Hans:

    ” the father of space science, Werner Von Braun, wrote: … the vast mysteries of the universe should only confirm our belief in the certainty of its Creator.”
    Well, well … before he became the father of space science he was the father of shooting missiles (V1 and V2), made possible by slave labour ….. in Peenemünde, then Nazi-Germany. Von Braun became member of the NSDAP in 1937 and of the SS (Sturmbannführer) in 1940. So much for the Darwin-Hitler connection.

  12. I have just discovered this good book on the analogy of design:
    Robert H. Hurlbutt (1998) Hume, Newton, and the Design Argument, revised edition. Ann Arbor (Mich.): University of Michigan Press. ISBN 0-8032-2337-4

  13. Michael Fugate

    Jay Sekulow received his Ph.D. from Regent University – impressed?

  14. Michael Fugate

    Even liberals are looking toward the end of the world
    Which of the following outcomes would you prefer occur on November 3, 2020?
    38% Donald Trump wins re-election
    62% A giant meteor strikes the earth, extinguishing all human life

    Click to access TOPLINE%20-%20UMass%20Lowell%20NH%20Dem%20Primary%2020200203_tcm18-321680.pdf

  15. As I said to someone waving a bible and shouting “Jesus is coming” on 42nd street on Manhattan, “be sure to let me know when he gets here”!