You Gave Ol’ Hambo What He Wanted

Perhaps you recall that about five weeks ago we wrote Ol’ Hambo Is Asking for Your Help. It was about a plea from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man, who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

Hambo wanted you to participate in a poll being conducted by USA Today to determine the people’s choice of the “best religious museum” in the US. He asked you to vote for not only the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum, but also his exact replica of Noah’s Ark known as Ark Encounter. And now the results of the poll are in!

Hambo just posted this at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: Ark Encounter and Creation Museum Win “Best Religious Museums 2020”. Isn’t that wonderful? Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

What is the best religious museum in the United States? Well, according to popular vote, it’s . . . the Ark Encounter in Northern Kentucky! [Hooray!] And following up in second place is another name you’ll recognize — the Creation Museum. [Wowie!] Out of 20 nominees, both the Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum placed at the top of the “10Best” contest by USA Today’s Readers’ Choice.

This is really exciting news! Hambo is in ecstasy! He says:

We hope these top designations will encourage even more people visit the Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum in Northern Kentucky. Not only will they have a remarkable time and make lasting memories, but also they’ll learn about the truth of God’s Word and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Wow — it’s all good! He tells us:

That’s the message everyone needs to hear, and that’s why we want as many individuals and families as possible to visit these high-quality Christian themed attractions.

Hambo isn’t interested in your money, dear reader — at least that’s not his primary interest. His main goal is to teach The Truth. In this next excerpt, the bold font is his:

Thank you to everyone who voted for their favorite attraction! We’re excited to have won both first and second place out of 20 museums

We’re excited too! Let’s read on:

Oh, by the way: the Smithsonian Natural History Museum (and others like it that promote naturalistic evolution) should have been nominated as a religious museum. It promotes the religion of atheism!

Atheism is religion? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Also, war is peace, freedom is slavery, and ignorance is strength.

Hambo ends his Orwellian post with this:

There actually is no “non-religious” position for museums: each has a worldview to proclaim. The Ark and Creation Museum are religious museums in that they promote the Christian worldview!

That’s it, dear reader. Your votes have done the job and you have ol’ Hambo’s gratitude. Well done!

Copyright © 2020. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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8 responses to “You Gave Ol’ Hambo What He Wanted

  1. “Hambo ends his Orwellian post”
    Well well, must be the first time our dear SC favourably quotes a socialist! During the Spanish Civil War he fought for POUM, the Worker’s Party of Marxist Unification. Orwell was far more radical than for instance Bernie Sanders now is.
    So I can’t help wondering if our dear SC will keep on embracing Rethuglican poo that’s flinging around? If yes, what will this tell us?

  2. Dear Hambone, I’m an equal opportunity atheist. Not only do I doubt that there is any evidence for your favorite god (blessed be his/her/its name), but I also seriously doubt I’d be able to find any gods on Mt. Olympus.

  3. Michael Fugate

    I think many Christians would beg to differ about Ham’s businesses promoting the Christian worldview.

  4. Willing to bette the survey had multiple choice answers and none of them was ‘all religious museums are crap’

  5. Desnes Diev

    I don’t remember having seen anything about atheism at Washington’s Natural History Museum. The skeletons of proto-whales where not labelled “creationists’ nightmares” and evolution was not sold as anti-bible.

    There was a lot about religion by contrast, especially ancient religions like Egyptians’, etc.

  6. Dave Luckett

    I wonder how many votes were cast? Ham isn’t saying. USA Today isn’t, either: https://www.10best.com/awards/travel/best-religious-museum/
    That alone invalidates it. Any report of an opinion poll that doesn’t include sample size, at least, (plus sampling methods) is automatically meaningless. FWIW, I’d guess comfortably under 1000, which would make it automatically susceptible to manipulation of the very sort Ham invited. Why, if his employees alone all responded, that would probably be enough to warp the result.

    And warped it is. There are perfectly respectable museums on the list of candidates. I’m surprised the raving loony Creation Evidence Museum of Glen Rose, TX, isn’t. But Ham’s Folly shares the list with institutions like the National Museum of American Jewish History. The result would be something to be ashamed of, if it meant anything. Which it doesn’t.

  7. I actually pulled the network traffic from the voting page, found the REST POST command that seemed to be sending the votes, and automated a LINUX bash shell script to flood it with votes for the other entries. I think I sent 100K at it a couple times.

    But I was never able to move the needle, at least not change the positions. So either I misread the calls, or there was much more difference between them than I expected, or it was paid spot to begin with (what I actually suspect)!

    I also forgot to just keep running the script over time… too many other things to do.

  8. Karl Goldsmith

    But Ken if actual museums where included then we wouldn’t need a poll, just visitor numbers.