Hambo’s Biblical Response to the Coronavirus

It’s interesting to see how religious folks react to the coronavirus pandemic. We have no problem with denominations that don’t reject science, like those in the National Center for Science Education’s list of Statements from Religious Organizations that support evolution. But the creationists are exhibiting some very different reactions.

Some are totally crazed, insisting that their faith will protect them, and urging their followers to assemble and pray with the whole congregation, and to ignore advice about social distancing and staying at home. They are the true believers, and they will experience the consequences — divine or otherwise. Some are not so crazed, which suggests that — deep down — they’re really charlatans. But your Curmudgeon doesn’t want to be judgmental. You can decide for yourself, dear reader, as they follow the advice of the science community, all the while insisting that scientists are wicked, hell-bound Darwinists.

Let’s see how you classify the reaction of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. He just posted this at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: COVID-19’s Impact on AiG and a Biblical Response by Ken Ham. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

I wanted to give you an update on the status of the Answers in Genesis ministry as we go through the coronavirus situation. As you know, we had to temporarily close the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum to the public. … As a result, our income has dropped markedly. At first we made significant expense cuts in an effort to protect our staff positions as we were hopeful we could open again by April 2. But as time went on, not only did we realize any re-opening date would be much further in the future but also we heard many conflicting reports that made it impossible to predict a new opening date.

Egad — Hambo’s creationist empire is closed? This is an outrage! He says:

Because of this, we have had to make the very distressing decision to temporarily lay off the majority of our staff to protect the financial stability of the ministry [Gasp!] and provide them the opportunity to seek unemployment and other state benefits. [Going on the dole is an opportunity?] … We have to do our best to protect the ministry for the future, knowing God is in control — but he expects us to be responsible with what he’s entrusted to us.

That’s a rosy way to look at it, but the fact remains that ol’ Hambo has just laid off most of his employees. We always assumed that Yahweh (or the intelligent designer — blessed be he!) would do a better job of looking after his faithful followers. This is very disappointing. After giving us that news, Hambo tells us:

Most of our mailings to supporters have been stopped or greatly reduced. [We haven’t noticed.] It takes time to produce and print a letter and organize its mailing. Instead, if there are any updates concerning an opening date, we will post those on our websites and social media. As you can imagine, it will also take time to ramp up once we are allowed to open — and who knows what restrictions the Government may impose on us. These are very trying times.

He continues:

If any of you can help us financially in any way, we would certainly appreciate it. [The check’s in the mail! Or maybe not. These are confusing times.] Regardless, I wanted to share with you what the coronavirus situation has done for me personally. [Ooooooooooooh!] As I pondered what was happening, the coronavirus crisis gives me eleven reminders.

What follows is a long — very long — list of items you may want to read. To help you decide, here’s the first of those eleven item:

1. Reminds Me of Our Mortality: So many people right now are fearful of dying. Now, don’t get me wrong: we need to do our best to look after our health and protect our families, but this situation should remind us that ultimately, death comes to all. … The overriding issue is that people need to be saved! Yes, what we see happening around us is alarming from a human perspective, but Christians shouldn’t fear death. They should be helping those who do fear it hear the most vital message of all time: the saving gospel. … Certainly, we need to be responsible in looking after ourselves, but it’s important to be reminded that God is in control regarding when someone dies.

Great stuff, huh? Wanna read the other ten items? Sure you do! So click over to Hambo’s website and devour his words of wisdom. Then get back here and tell us all about it.

Copyright © 2020. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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29 responses to “Hambo’s Biblical Response to the Coronavirus

  1. Christine Marie Janis

    Yeah, lay off those employees and they lose their health insurance as well as their salaries. They can still pray, though.

  2. Yes, thoughts and prayers.

  3. siluriantrilobite

    Just like in H. G. Wells War of the Worlds, Kentucky’s invaders are brought down by a microbe.

    >

  4. Charley Horse X

    My goodness….he has the ARK to shelter in. What more could anyone ask for?

  5. Michael Fugate

    That’s true when the unemployed become homeless they can live in the ark.

  6. Disgusting. Consider
    4. Reminds Me of God’s Promise to Provide Our Needs Day by Day
    When his just laid off staff, and
    8. Reminds Me That God Has a Right to Bring Judgment on Nations
    The ultimate blame the victim.

  7. “It’s interesting to see how religious folks react”
    Absolutely. To my surprise I learned today that in The Netherlands church services are still possible. Fundagelicals (reminder: my native country has a Bible Belt too) of course know where to put their faith. Or think they know. Percentages of corona infections are sky rocketing. As we must reject athiest materialist commienazi explanations the only possible conclusion is that god doesn’t really like fundagelicalism.

  8. #8 reminds me of the (imaginary, but inspired by the Evolutionary Argument Against Naturalism) Creationist Argument Against the Supernatural.
    God is beyond our understanding and judgment. If God wants us to believe things which are not so (such as Omphalism tells us how the world is young), then so be it. This means that creationism does not provide warrant for the reliability of our knowledge, in particular knowledge about the supernatural.

  9. I read Hambo’s missive in full. His main points were, in order of importance;

    1.god wants me to sell my car and give the money to Hambo
    2. if I don’t repent I’ll die from COVID 19
    3.Covid 19 was created by god to kill OTHER people to show everyone
    how powerful he is
    4.take risks with Co vid 19
    5.calamities come from god
    6.time machines are fake but geologic time scales are real (oops)
    7. its okay to starve
    8. don’t forget to visit Ol Hambo’s used camel and jackass emporium across
    the street
    I feel better now.

  10. Sorry to change the subject, but The Economist current issue has an article with graphics about how the northern hemisphere winter was the warmest mearured on land over the last 90 years. For example, Moscow’s daily low averaged -2C vs normal -12C.
    Something else about sciece to talk about.

  11. In Europe it was the warmest winter ever (since measured, of course); in The Netherlands 2006 – 07 was still a bit warmer.
    Something to illustrate the science involved:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elfstedentocht#Winners

    a) organized only three times last 50 years;
    b) 23 years since the last one is a record.

  12. Robert van Bakel

    This business model relies a hell of a lot on people and political institutions giving him s**t.
    Land, tax breaks, more tax breaks, perks, incentives, donations, more tax breaks, junk bonds, gifts etc, etc.
    Does god help at all?

  13. I think I’ve already commented here about the systematic rejection of climate science by AiG, CMI, and DI

  14. For those in the USA, take a look at the forecast for this summer from NOAA
    cpc.ncep.noaa.gov

  15. chris schilling

    Ken may as well have admitted “Prayer doesn’t work, and we’re all gonna’ die, anyway.”

    Great message, Ken. Completely on point, for once.

  16. Dave Luckett

    Matthew 6:25-34. The employees of Ham will be “given the opportunity” to follow the teachings of Jesus. Isn’t that wonderful?

  17. Hambo shouldn’t complain. According to him, disease is the result of sin, and ever since A&E it hasn’t spared the righteous. God did it, it’s right there in Genesis. Can’t feel sorry for him.

  18. We’ve got one hospital ship in L.A.; another one going to New York. Why not convert Ham’s Ark into a third hospital ship, this one serving the great landlocked Midwest? It would finally give that big, hulking waste of timber a useful purpose.

  19. “Some (creationist congregations) are totally crazed, insisting that their faith will protect them, and urging their followers to assemble and pray with the whole congregation, and to ignore advice about social distancing and staying at home.”

    And it’s a safe bet that Kentucky is home to a large proportion of such congregations (see: Snake Handlers). All the more reason to convert the Ark into a hospital “ship”.

  20. @Scienttist: Is that a ttypo?

  21. Ham:
    3. Reminds Me Not to Store up Earthly Treasures

    Oh god, Ken, you broke my irony meter. Again.

  22. 6. Reminds Me That We Need to Be Risk Takers

    Oh, that’s why you fired your staff in their hour of need.

  23. Michael Fugate

    God will provide… or not.

  24. Employees, this is a test of your faith. God will provide for you, while I look after myself

  25. And watch out for tornados
    In March?

  26. Michael Fugate

    Do you think Ken will lay-off Bodie? or his wife and kids?

  27. Trump: “We’re opening up this incredible country. Because we have to do that. I would love to have it open by Easter.”

    “Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and labor by the sweat of thy brow; and eat, drink, and be merry; and Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar’s; for tomorrow thou shalt surely die.” (Luke 9/12/20, Gen 3 mash-up)

    Produce, consume, pay taxes — prefaced by death and terminated by death.

  28. “If any of you can help us financially in any way, we would certainly appreciate it.”

    Called it!

    Betting the Ark doesn’t look much different though…. 😉

  29. Let’s see if he has the cajones to offer up the Ark as a field hospital when the wave hits them….