This is one of the most wondrous tales we’ve ever heard, and we are pleased to pass it on to you. It was written by Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.
As you know, ol’ Hambo is responsible for bringing to this sin-cursed world not only the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum, but also his exact replica of Noah’s Ark known as Ark Encounter. They have been a source of inspiration for millions of droolers.
We were recently shocked — shocked! — to learn that ol’ Hambo was closing those tourist attractions because of the coronavirus pandemic. That was when we posted Why Is Hambo Doing this? We said:
We are truly amazed. Why are they doing this? If there is any place on Earth where the protection of divine providence guarantees the immunity of all who work or visit there, it should be Hambo’s enterprises.
But we were wrong — so very wrong! — to doubt ol’ Hambo. Look what he just posted at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry. It’s titled The Two Witnesses. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
Right now they’re silent — but not really. [Huh?] In the past, millions of people have heard their witness. Millions more have heard of their bold [Bold!] proclamation of the gospel — they shout the message of the cross. Books tell of them. Videos have recorded them. Atheists are frightened of them and want them to go away. [The fools!] The media has mocked them, but they keep showing up on TV. And though somewhat silent right now, they will speak more loudly than ever soon. In fact, they teach the Easter message every day of the year. People from nations around the world have heard of them. They are two powerful witnesses. And what are they? The Ark Encounter and Creation Museum.
But they’re closed, so what’s Hambo saying? He explains:
Yes, the Ark and museum may seem silent right now, but they have been [sic] already been boldly [Boldly!] presenting the message of the saving gospel and the message of the cross to millions. And they still do through the many articles, books, videos, and other resources that have been produced about their vital messages. Yes, the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum present the Easter message day after day after day. And so they should. It’s the most important message to proclaim in the universe. [Gasp!] The message that explains man’s problems (sin), our separation from God, and God’s solution Jesus Christ.
Wowie — Hambo’s tourist attractions boldly proclaim the most important message in the universe! Ponder that, dear reader. It makes your own work seem rather insignificant, doesn’t it? Well, compared to Hambo, you are insignificant! Ponder that too. Okay. Skipping some scripture stuff, he tells us:
And even though these AiG attractions are temporarily closed due to the Coronavirus situation, they still stand as (silent) witnesses for the message of salvation. And even as they still present their messages in many ways during the closure, we encourage you to get ready to come and visit these great testaments to the truths of the Bible and the gospel. When they reopen, they will boldly [Boldly!] present the truth of God’s Word and the salvation message to a dying world.
There’s some more scripture stuff, which you’ll want to click over there and read, but we’ve excerpted enough, so this is where we leave ol’ Hambo. The ark and museum are closed, but they’re not closed. Verily, it’s a miracle!
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