Creationism and the Genesis String

A few weeks ago, PhysOrg had this article: Tie game: Ancient bit of string shows Neanderthal handiwork, which said, with our bold font:

It looked like a white splotch on the underside of a Neanderthal stone tool. But a microscope showed it was a bunch of fibers twisted around each other. Further examination revealed it was the first direct evidence that Neanderthals could make string, and the oldest known direct evidence for string-making overall, researchers say. The find implies our evolutionary cousins had some understanding of numbers and the trees that furnished the raw material, they say. It’s the latest discovery to show Neanderthals were smarter than modern-day people often assume. … The string hints at the possibility of other abilities, like making bags, mats, nets and fabric, they said.

We didn’t think much about it, but the creationists are all excited. Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else, wrote this: Study: Neanderthals Made String, in which he gushed, with our bold font:

When Neanderthal fossils were first found in 1856, they were considered to be primitive, brutish cavemen, and exhibits in museums modeled them as part ape and part human. Now, creationists have insisted Neanderthals were 100% human and lived during the ice age after the flood. Over time, evolutionists have had to admit they were wrong as Neanderthals buried their dead, made musical instruments, tools, and jewelry, and did cave paintings. And now, evidence suggests they made cords.

After discussing the string discovery, Hambo says:

If scientists had believed the Bible’s account of history concerning creation and the flood, they would not have been led astray by the anti-God religion of evolution and come to such a false view of Neanderthals. When we start with God’s Word, what we observe in the world makes sense! [Right!] Evolutionary thinking can hold back science. As has happened numerous times, evolutionists have been shown to be wrong!

That kind of article from ol’ Hambo shouldn’t be much of a surprise. In order to squeeze all fossil humans (in addition to Sapiens) into the limited time allowed by Genesis, he has always claimed that Neanderthals were identical to modern humans — see, e.g.: Hambo and His Neanderthal Relatives.

But it’s not only Hambo. Over at the Institute for Creation Research (ICR) — the granddaddy of all creationist outfits, the fountainhead of young-earth creationist wisdom — they have a post by Lauren Pennington. They say she’s a Volunteer Coordinator at the ICR Discovery Center for Science & Earth History. That makes her as much a creation scientist as any of the others. Her post is A Single String Just Helped Confirm Genesis. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

A string confirms Genesis? Your Curmudgeon is too much of a gentleman to suggest that her post is about the G-string, so we’ll suppress the urge to do so. Here are some excerpts from her post, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

A piece of string about 6 millimeters long is threatening standard evolutionary theory about the history of humanity. [Gasp!] The BBC reported that researchers from the United States, France, and Spain recently discovered a small piece of string at a Neanderthal site in France. … According to evolutionary theory, Neanderthals were a relatively recent ancestor of modern humans, but did not have nearly the cognitive abilities that we have today. However, this discovery casts doubt on that hypothesis.

Evolution theory is doomed! After skipping a bit she says:

While this is astonishing to those who hold to the evolutionary mindset, it simply confirms what biblical creationists already know: humans have always been humans. Humans have always been able to think, reason, create, work, and communicate, just as they were made to do. Genesis tells us that we did not evolve from a previous, less-developed ancestor. Instead, we were specially, intentionally created by God in His image, made like Him in many ways.

Okay, that’s enough. And so, dear reader, you may have been an evolutionist before this discovery, but you must admit that holding on to such a clearly discredited theory is looking more foolish than ever. So go ahead — confess your error and embrace The Truth. You’ll be forever glad you did.

Copyright © 2020. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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15 responses to “Creationism and the Genesis String

  1. “Kreashunizm reellee wurkt for me”. Drop mic . Audience reaches for barf bags.

  2. Should someone tell ol Hammy that the C14 dating of the fibers alone is going to blow his BS story into the weeds? Naaaaaahhhhh….This is too much fun. Which is a shame because Hambo could sell camel hair twined together and call it ark twine. Or ? The royalties alone ………

  3. Michael Fugate

    No doubt all the creationists in 1856 believed Neanderthals were “Homo sapiens”.

  4. How come the favorite god of Hambone didn’t let Adam and Eve know they had all those close cousins living way north of them? And as Och Will points out, C14 should show they lived long before the magical mystery tour of the alleged ark!

  5. Dave Luckett

    I don’t suppose that it would make any difference to the Hamsplaining to observe that fairly recent sequencing of current human and Neanderthal DNA has established that there was some interbreeding. Not a great deal – about 5%-7% proportion of Neanderthal genes in a typical European genome. Debate continues as to whether the Neanderthal and modern human populations are indeed separate species. The majority opinion appears to be that they are genetically and morphologically different enough for that to be the case, but the Neanderthals are more genetically distinct from the modern human population than any group within it today. This can only be the product of a relatively long period of reproductive isolation.

    Ham cleaves to the usual creationist line: there are humans and there are apes, separate “kinds”, completely distinct from each other. Of course creationists spurn the thought of classifying the various other fossil hominins as one or the other – such picayune details are the obsession of “Darwinists”, and besides, every time the True Believers tried, they quarrelled among themselves. As I remarked before, they know it’s better to march forward in lockstep as siblings in faith, until the Darwinists are defeated, and to resolve doctrinal disputes afterwards, in the time-honoured way, with inquisition and pogrom. Or, better, ban the evidence altogether. That might work…

  6. Charles Deetz ;)

    Ham/ICR is amazed by the string of a post flood race of humans. Nevermind all the technology the ark needed, that they would have been kin to.

  7. Once again creacrappers made all the right predicitons a long time afterwards.

  8. Can we expect the creationists to explain that they were just joking?

  9. “According to evolutionary theory, Neanderthals were a relatively recent ancestor of modern humans”; as far back as 1863, TH Huxley had recognised Neanderthals as a variety of human, and wrote: “In no sense, then, can the Neanderthal bones be regarded as the remains of a human being intermediate between Men and Apes”. See

  10. Christine Marie Janis

    “A string confirms Genesis?”

    You’ve heard of string theory, haven’t you?

  11. Right! We were made by gawd! Look at the story of the jew who made a gollum monster to destroy his enemies. Now how were men made? Gawd molded worm crap (dirt) into the shape he desired and used magic (his breath) to give it life. and shortly there after the hebrews were busy killing off may cities to steal their lands! Monsters all!

  12. Michael Fugate

    What does 100% human mean? What about the viruses and bacteria and other parasites living in and on us? Would we be alive without them? Where do I end and other symbionts begin? Are somatically mutated cells me?

  13. Endogenous retroviruses

  14. Michael Fugate

    Essentialism doesn’t work with living things – and as a result teleology doesn’t either.

  15. Essentialism works even more poorly, if that is possible, with non-living things.