Wowie — A New Search for Noah’s Ark

We learned about this thanks to a tip from our clandestine operative in Kentucky, code-named “Blue Grass.” He’s interested in everything ark-related, so it’s only natural that he spotted this headline in the Agusta Chronicle, published in Augusta, Georgia: Augusta man part of effort to find Noah’s Ark. We don’t see a comments feature. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

Matt Daniels never would’ve imagined that his work with drones to facilitate insurance claims would lead him on a unique adventure. [Ooooooooooooh!] The Augusta man’s role in an archaeologist’s quest to find the remains of Noah’s Ark in Turkey recently aired on an episode of Science Channel’s “Forbidden History.”

Sounds exciting! The Chronicle reports:

“It was incredible,” said Daniels, who was the project lead of a team using ground-penetrating radar, drones and other specialized equipment to create a computerized 3D map at a plot of land at the Durupinar site near Mount Ararat in Turkey. The site has a boat-shaped formation [Gasp!] that was discovered in 1959, leading some to believe it’s the site where the remains of the Biblical ark are located.

Hasn’t that location already been explored? For example, three years ago we wrote Experts Expect To Find Noah’s Ark!, and also Has Noah’s Ark Been Found? It doesn’t matter. The Chronicle tells us:

Computer engineer and archaeologist Andrew Jones, of Oregon, has been researching the site for more than two decades. [Jones and the quest for the lost ark? Sounds familiar!] He’d like to excavate the site, but he’d need approval from the Turkish government. “You can’t make a determination without digging,” said Daniels. “It looks like the outline of a boat.”

How do you “research” the site for two decades without digging? We’re not told. The news story continues:

Daniels traveled to Turkey in November about 10 days after receiving a phone call from a business associate who asked whether he’d be interested in working on a 3D mapping of the Noah’s Ark site. The phone connection wasn’t that great, and Daniels misheard the location at first. “I thought he was talking about the Ark Experience in Kentucky,” he said. [BWAHAHAHAHAHA! He thought they were talking about Hambo’s ark.] The call came on a Monday, and Daniels was on a plane the following week bound for Turkey, where the team spent eight days. The film crew was there for four days.

Very efficient. Very impressive. But so what? The big question is: What did they find? Let’s read on:

Daniels said their mapping did uncover some interesting details. “We did see some 90-degree angles, squares,” he said, leading him to believe there’s something man-made below the ground’s surface.

That’s all? No dinosaur coprolites? This is very disappointing. One last excerpt:

Daniels said he doesn’t know what the next step will be for Jones in his quest to excavate the site, but he’s glad to have had the opportunity to be part of the process. “The biggest thing to me is the historical significance and the potential of discovery,” he said.

Potential? Humbug! We want the Ark! Ah well, we’ve been disappointed before. Oh wait — right at the end, the newspaper says this:

The episode is available at Science Channel’s website http://www.sciencechannel.com.

If you want to see it, you are welcome to search for it. And there are two other things you may want to check out: Noah’s Ark Found! On Uranus!, and Curmudgeon Finds Noah’s Ark! Okay, that’s enough — we’re outta here!

Copyright © 2020. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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21 responses to “Wowie — A New Search for Noah’s Ark

  1. Jim Roberts

    Wait, something with 90 degree angles has to be manmade? Where did they get that from?

  2. Jim:
    We all know that hexagons are of the devil.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devils_Postpile_National_Monument

  3. Expecting to find remains of Noah’s Ark? Who knew Noah had access to pressure-treated lumber?

  4. Eddie Janssen

    Given that the Ark and its cargo spent at least a couple of days on Mount Ararat there are coprolites to be expected. Even those of dinosaurs!
    Unless Noah and his crew kept cleaning the Ark till the last minute.
    Which I doubt.
    I have to admit I was not there.

  5. Michael Fugate

    Take a tour for $1500.
    https://eastturkeyexpedition.com/

  6. The Bible does not say that Noah’s Ark landed on Mount Ararat. That mountain did not get that name until long after the Bible was completed.
    The Bible says that the Ark landed in the mountains (Plural) of Ararat (a district).

  7. “Sounds exciting!”
    Sounds stupid – another literalist who can’t properly read his favourite Holy Book. Gen. 8:4 talks about mountains, ie plural.

    “Ah well, we’ve been disappointed before.”
    And you will be disappointed over and over again, as long as they keep on searching on that site.

    “(a district)”
    Rather a kingdom – named Urartu and predecessor of Armenia.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urartu

  8. When our newspapers are routinely running “news” articles like this and Trump’s conspiracy theories have come to dominate much of our political discourse, its hard not to feel that enlightenment values of logic , science and the rights of man are indeed under threat. The news cycle and certain news outlets are awash in opinions and tabloid disinformation promoted at the most primitive of levels. Our president is a reality TV star and promised Alex Jones he’d make him proud in 2015 while campaigning. Yes Alex is a mad man.
    Creationism is a symptom of a far bigger malaise.To quote Goldberg in The Atlantic ” Conspiracy theory is a convenient umbrella term for various ideas Trump holds that lack foundation”. It’s really conspiracy without a theory.
    For the creationists it’s about business, profit, control, zealotry. For the GOP in America, it has become the new normal to attack “fake” news that doesn’t fit the ruling narrative but that resonates with , dare I say, the “drooler” mentality the same people drawn to crea crap. Conspiracy “theories” go right to the heart of what a democracy is. As do fact free claims about Ukrainian complicity in who knows what next. This president is a walking talking crea crapper tearing down enlightenment values on a daily basis.
    Another ark expedition ? Sure. Why not. When we have congressman Gaetz showing up in the House chambers wearing a gas mask to mock the covid 19 pandemic, it makes sense. The Enlightenment under siege ? 74% of Republicans have ‘very little confidence in the news media” up from 60% 3 years ago. Need alternative facts? One doesn’t need to refer to creationists to get that. Just check out the news cycle regarding America’s dominant political party and the tweeter in chief.

  9. Roger Scott

    The government of Turkey would be foolish to allow these American turkeys to excavate the site. Excavation means disproof. End of the flow of US $, at least for that site. A fool’s money is as good as a wise person’s. Keep the quest alive. It is also entertainment for those who realise there never was a Noah’s Ark.

  10. Michael Fugate

    Check out this site
    http://noahsarkscans.nz/
    Noah’s ark fossilized.

  11. Dave Luckett

    It will end like all the other “expeditions”, in nothing. But wait! There’s a movie in this. “Oregon Jones and the Ark of Noah”. Psst! Hey, Louis, can you think of another change-up on the sword-against-handgun gag?

  12. One more difficulty with the Ark. What the Bible describes is an ark, not a boat. If you take a look at old depictions of the Ark, the artists didn’t understand it as a boat. The Bible doesn’t tell us about features typical of a boat: prow, stern, keel, rudder, oars, sails.
    If someone discovers a boat on Mt Ararat, they find the wrong thing at
    the wrong place.

  13. Dave Luckett

    Enter Ron Wyatt, again, dowsing rod in hand. When it comes to idiotic misinterpretation of non-evidence for truth in Bible stories, pretty much always you find Ron at the bottom of it. Ron picked up an earlier, dismissive, report of this formation and in 1985 walked over the Durupinar mound with a sonic-return gadget used by treasure hunters, before announcing he had found Noah’s Ark.

    Sure he had. Just like he’d found Pharaoh’s chariots at the bottom of the Gulf of Aqaba, the Tower of Babel, the Garden of Eden, the real Mt Sinai, King Solomon’s Mines, a stele Moses erected on the shore of the Red Sea, and the altar to the golden calf, the same that had caused Moses to break the original tablets of the Law. Ron just couldn’t go anywhere in the region without falling over things that nobody else could find. I’m only surprised that he didn’t find the broken tablets.

    Subsequent investigations showed that the Durupinar mound is a natural geological formation. It consists of a weathered intrusion of harder rocks – iron-bearing deposits – eroded by mud flows into a roughly boat-shaped mound aligned with the direction of the flows. Which requires fairly specific geological conditions, but is nothing out of the ordinary. All the claims of wood and iron artefacts have been shown to be so much hot air.

    I dunno what Oregon Jones and his merry band will claim to have found there. It will depend entirely on how much of a bunch of chumps or con-men they are.

  14. Michael Fugate

    Jones shows up as tour guide for various Bible tours – a software developer with no apparent training in archeology; the Bible is history, no less.
    http://www.travelthebible.com/tour-guides.html

  15. @RogerS: “The government of Turkey would be foolish to allow these American turkeys to excavate the site.”
    On the contrary, those turkeys bring in a lot of nice money. And those fools pay much more than professional archeologists. Who knows, within 10 years those turkeys might have lost interest because everybody has learned that they are turkeys indeed. Better to cash now before everyone comes to his/her senses.
    Like DaveL suggests this profitable model has worked now for at least 35 years. This time it’s Turkish muslims who laugh all the way to their banks.

  16. Michael Fugate

    As this author discusses when ideology trumps reality then those people will work to change reality to fit ideology.
    https://www.ucpress.edu/blog/50267/what-fascist-lies-teach-us-about-current-politics-a-virtual-conversation-with-federico-finchelstein/

  17. @Michael Fugate
    One thing which puzzles me is that people will not tell the truth even when it is to their advantage.
    And there is the old adage that it is easier to tell the truth, because when one lies, one has to keep track of the
    lies. But this kind of liar – and their audience – does not care about being consistent.

  18. Even if it existed, it’s hard to believe the ark would be sufficiently intact to be found (in any location). Perhaps Noah and family burned portions of it as the only dry firewood. And, surely, fungi, water, insects and sunlight would slowly destroy it, especially if left exposed. But the myth refuses to die, and I wouldn’t be surprised that a thousand years from now the fundies are still searching.

  19. @och will: Ditto. Every word. Thanks for saving me from the trouble of having to type it all out myself.

  20. @Scientist: Please see my comments above re: pressure-treated lumber.

    @Eddie Janssen: Coprolites are fossilized feces. By the YEC’s reckoning of time, there hasn’t been enough time for feces to fossilize. Perhaps, though, the animals were severely constipated. But then, the coprolites would be brick-shaped, and would be easy to detect.

  21. retiredsciguy says: “By the YEC’s reckoning of time, there hasn’t been enough time for feces to fossilize.”

    But coprolites do exist, so YECs must think that fossilization can occur in just a few thousand years.