Everyone knows about the Inquisition. That’s what happens when religious lunatics are in power. Nothing even remotely comparable has occurred recently — at least not in those countries affected by the Age of Enlightenment.
Despite the incredible benefits the Enlightenment has brought us, creationists keep trying to roll back the centuries, as we wrote at the start of this humble blog — see Discovery Institute: Enemies of the Enlightenment. If you haven’t read that, it might be worth a few minutes of your time.
Before proceeding further, dear reader, we recommend that you unplug your irony detector. Otherwise, what we’re about to show you will surely cause the thing to explode. You ready now? Okay, we’re talking about this amazing post at the Discovery Institute’s creationist blog: “Nobody Expects the Darwinist Inquisition”? I Do. It was written by David Klinghoffer, a Discoveroid “senior fellow” (i.e., flaming, full-blown creationist), who eagerly functions as their journalistic slasher and poo flinger. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
As a reader and supporter of Evolution News, you must have noticed the same thing I have. It’s an ominous sight to observe the two waves approaching each other. [What the *bleep* is he talking about?] On one side is an intensifying drive to police social media, where countless people get most of their information. On the other are biologists who (according to a Darwinist scientist!) spend a fifth of their time fretting about how to “combat intelligent design,” as we reported here the other day.
Only a hopeless ignoramus gets his information from social media. As for the alleged “intensifying drive to police social media,” they’ve posted about that a few times before, but it was too goofy for us to bother with. However, you can visit their creationist blog and take a look at this from a week ago: Thanks to the Sacrifices of Many, There’s Talk of Censoring Us. Okay, let’s return to Klinghoffer’s post today, where we’re told:
One prominent scientific journal, BioEssays, has already brought the waves together. They have called for Internet censorship of intelligent design, identifying Discovery Institute by name as being in need of special attention by the censors. If giants like Facebook and Twitter don’t follow through on the threat, then says biologist Dave Speijer, the government should “Make them.” It’s only because we are changing how people think about life and its origins — thanks to you! — that we have attracted this malice.
The Discoveroids have mentioned that BioEssays article a few times, but they never link to it. Oh wait — they did once: Bad Faith Reasoning, Predictable Chaos, and the Truth. Klinghoffer then says:
Don’t doubt that their idea has a bright future with what journalist John Zmirak calls Darwin’s “Inquisition.” “Nobody Expects the Darwinist Inquisition,” as Zmirak says in a headline at The Stream [link omitted], a wry homage to a famous line from a Monty Python sketch. Well, I expect it!
Klinghoffer expects the inquisition — as if the Discoveroids were important enough to be worth censoring. Why would anyone want to bother with them? We let communists speak and write — racists too. All kinds of weirdos have freedom of speech in our society. Why would anyone even think of wasting any effort on the Discoveroids? But Klinghoffer is expecting it, and he tells us:
Zmirak adds that ideology isn’t all that motivates the would-be Internet police: “It’s the classic will to dominate, to bully and rule your neighbor.”
Do you want to bully and rule your neighbor, dear reader? We didn’t think so. Klinghoffer continues:
As editor of Evolution News, I appeal to you this month to join us in resisting these moves.
Klinghoffer wants to resist the evil he fears. He explains why dark forces are gathering to destroy him:
“A universe designed and replete with meaning” is a vision that strict Darwinists can’t stand. [Hee hee!] They will do what they can to suppress it. The fact that a designed universe is supported by responsible science [Groan!], as we make clear here every day for our growing audience, is what really drives them to the edge.
Does the brilliance of the Discoveroids’ blog drive you to the edge, dear reader? Actually, it may be Klinghoffer who is at the edge. Judge for yourself as we read on:
Every indication suggests that before long, they will take action against those who argue in public for design in life and in the cosmos.
See what we mean? And now, like all creationists, Klinghoffer ends with a demand for money:
Please consider donating now to the Center for Science & Culture and its campaign for Evolution News and for freedom of speech. They’ve already come for the professors. Next they’ll come for us. Expect it.
So there you have it. We thought nothing could be goofier than the Discoveroids’ “theory” of intelligent design, but now we found something to rival it — their belief that a science inquisition is coming for them. This is the most hilarious thing they’ve posted in a long time. What do you think of it, dear reader?
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