Today we have a new addition to our series about Self-Published Geniuses. This is where we bring you news of authors with a vanity press book in which the author claims to have made paradigm-shattering discoveries, and announces his work by hiring a press release service.
The title of the press release is Author Takes Readers on Journey to Find Fingerprint of God in Revolutionary New Book. It was issued by Globe Newswire, which we’ve encountered before in this series. Here are some excerpts from the press release, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
Author and architect Martin P. Miller, NCARB, has published a mathematical and philosophical work that explores the history of numbers, uncovers Miller’s groundbreaking discoveries of prime number sequencing [Wow!], and describes heaven in terms of quantum physics in an easy and understandable style. [Fantastic!] In “Prime Numbers Proof and Journey Finding the Fingerprint of God,” [Great Title!] Miller provides readers with his solution to prime numbers and the order he found within their seeming randomness.
Ooooooooooooh! This book seems to have everything! The press release then says:
A simple-to-digest read, “Prime Numbers Proof and Journey” provides scientific backing to the existence of heaven, God, and miracles. [Gasp!] Throughout, Miller shares his account of crossing paths with heaven during a near-death experience and delves deeply into questions about heaven’s appearance, the potential to travel through time and rewrite history [Wowie!], and the meaning of dreams.
This may be the most amazing book ever written! After that, the press release quotes the author, who tells us:
“Many years ago, I had a near-death experience. I was taken up in a dream to a place of high energy. I thought I had died and was standing in a wonderful place with walls of electric white light,” Miller said. “I’m not the type of person to spread the Gospel, pass out tracks [He means “tracts.”], or persuade someone with a Bible verse. I talk about science and light. I have since had many more dreams, visions, and impressions, and with these events, I understand that God is real.”
Miller has truly obtained enlightenment. The press release continues:
Ultimately, “Prime Numbers Proof and Journey” provides proof of God’s existence as found in nature, human DNA, and the universal language of mathematics. The book also discusses what it takes to unlock one’s hidden potential and offers readers hope that, despite the chaos and turmoil in the world, God maintains an underlying peaceful order.
What a book! Then, quite casually, they say:
Available through WestBow Press.
Aha! That’s a name we’ve seen before. We Googled for them. Yup — their website says they’re a religious vanity publisher. So with that and the author’s press release, the book qualifies for our collection. They also have a large paragraph describing the impressive qualifications of the author. We’ll let you click over there to read that for yourself.
With trembling fingers, we searched for the book at Amazon — and we found it! Here it is: Prime Numbers Proof and Journey Finding the Fingerprint of God: Prime Numbers Solved — Mathematical Proof a First in Twenty-Four Hundred Years. All they offer is the Kindle edition, and it costs $299.25. Amazing price, but it’s 132 pages long, so it’s a good deal! And yes, Amazon has a “Look inside” feature. Hey, there are no reviews yet, so you could be the first!
Oh, wait — at the WestBow website you can buy the book in softcover for $16.95. The choice is yours, dear reader.
Okay, with all the information we’ve given you, we know you can’t resist — so go ahead and place your order. When you do, tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent ya!
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