This news comes from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. It’s about his replica of Noah’s Ark known as Ark Encounter.
Hambo just posted this at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: Incredible VR Experience Coming to the Ark Encounter! Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
What would it have been like to watch Noah build the ark, see the animals arrive as guided by God’s divine command, or experience the first drops of water as the flood began? [We know because we’ve seen the Jack Chick comic book.] Well, you can travel through time and experience it for yourself with our virtual reality experience, Truth Traveler, coming to the Ark Encounter by mid-July.
“Truth Traveler”? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Then he says:
This VR experience [“VR” presumably means Virtual reality.] is going to be like no other! The quality is like anything you’d expect from Disney or Universal Studios, but the message is very different! Not only does Truth Traveler emphasize the historicity of the flood account but it presents the gospel.
In other words, Hambo is offering an adventure in Oogity Boogity! He tells us:
When you put on the high-tech VR headset, you’ll meet POD — a robot who will give you a fun, guided tour as you travel back in time. Throughout the experience, you’ll watch Noah work on the ark, tour the ark full of animals, see the windows of heaven burst forth, and learn how just as there was one door into the ark to be saved, there is only one door of salvation — Jesus Christ.
There are lots of phrases that keep popping up in our mind to describe what Hambo’s offering, but we’ll restrain ourselves. He continues:
This project was funded by a businessman who is an AiG supporter [A truly great guy!], so we were excited that, with his help, construction could still continue during the COVID–19 shutdowns. And now it’s almost done and ready for our guests to enjoy. Guests will wear a special VR headset and sit in seats that move (and even poke you!), giving the “time travel” experience a very authentic feel.
Our clandestine operative in Kentucky, code-named “Blue Grass,” wonders about the possibility of coronavirus transmission from all this equipment, but have no fear, dear reader. We’re confident that the holy aura surrounding Hambo and his enterprises will protect you if you decide to experience what he’s offering. Let’s read on:
Like the Stargazer Planetarium (which was recently completely upgraded) at the Creation Museum, Truth Traveler will be available for an upcharge.
Who cares what it costs? We’re certain that the experience is worth it. Here’s the end of Hambo’s post:
Truth Traveler will be open by mid-July. So when you visit the Ark Encounter, be sure to head to the ticket counter in the new virtual reality building (located near the playground) right away to get your tickets, as this experience is sure to be very popular. We can’t wait for you to experience Truth Traveler!
Hambo’s virtual reality experience sounds great — for some folks — but your Curmudgeon is incurably old-fashioned. We prefer real reality, so we have no plans to go, but if you visit Hambo’s ark, tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent ya.
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