You Can Experience the ‘Reality’ of Noah’s Ark

This news comes from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. It’s about his replica of Noah’s Ark known as Ark Encounter.

Hambo just posted this at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: Incredible VR Experience Coming to the Ark Encounter! Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

What would it have been like to watch Noah build the ark, see the animals arrive as guided by God’s divine command, or experience the first drops of water as the flood began? [We know because we’ve seen the Jack Chick comic book.] Well, you can travel through time and experience it for yourself with our virtual reality experience, Truth Traveler, coming to the Ark Encounter by mid-July.

“Truth Traveler”? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Then he says:

This VR experience [“VR” presumably means Virtual reality.] is going to be like no other! The quality is like anything you’d expect from Disney or Universal Studios, but the message is very different! Not only does Truth Traveler emphasize the historicity of the flood account but it presents the gospel.

In other words, Hambo is offering an adventure in Oogity Boogity! He tells us:

When you put on the high-tech VR headset, you’ll meet POD — a robot who will give you a fun, guided tour as you travel back in time. Throughout the experience, you’ll watch Noah work on the ark, tour the ark full of animals, see the windows of heaven burst forth, and learn how just as there was one door into the ark to be saved, there is only one door of salvation — Jesus Christ.

There are lots of phrases that keep popping up in our mind to describe what Hambo’s offering, but we’ll restrain ourselves. He continues:

This project was funded by a businessman who is an AiG supporter [A truly great guy!], so we were excited that, with his help, construction could still continue during the COVID–19 shutdowns. And now it’s almost done and ready for our guests to enjoy. Guests will wear a special VR headset and sit in seats that move (and even poke you!), giving the “time travel” experience a very authentic feel.

Our clandestine operative in Kentucky, code-named “Blue Grass,” wonders about the possibility of coronavirus transmission from all this equipment, but have no fear, dear reader. We’re confident that the holy aura surrounding Hambo and his enterprises will protect you if you decide to experience what he’s offering. Let’s read on:

Like the Stargazer Planetarium (which was recently completely upgraded) at the Creation Museum, Truth Traveler will be available for an upcharge.

Who cares what it costs? We’re certain that the experience is worth it. Here’s the end of Hambo’s post:

Truth Traveler will be open by mid-July. So when you visit the Ark Encounter, be sure to head to the ticket counter in the new virtual reality building (located near the playground) right away to get your tickets, as this experience is sure to be very popular. We can’t wait for you to experience Truth Traveler!

Hambo’s virtual reality experience sounds great — for some folks — but your Curmudgeon is incurably old-fashioned. We prefer real reality, so we have no plans to go, but if you visit Hambo’s ark, tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent ya.

Copyright © 2020. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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24 responses to “You Can Experience the ‘Reality’ of Noah’s Ark

  1. I can’t wait! I really want to see what the baramins looked like. Was the Cat baramin large or small, with stripes, spots, or none of these, or all of these, and what kind of mane if any did the male have? And how did Noah manage to assemble the Ark using Bronze Age technology? We need to know

  2. Michael Fugate

    Maybe virtual reality is to reality what creation science is to science?

  3. Laurette McGovern

    and I’m sure we’ll be seeing all the 1000s of people and 10s of 1000s of innocent terrified animals dying a horrible watery death

  4. @Paul Braterman
    The replica of the Ark has answered the question about building the Ark in the negative.
    It has shown that even using 20th century technology we have no confidence that there is a way to make a box which can 1) hold great numbers of living animals 2) float on water (let alone stand up to waves that can carve a Grand Canyon) 3) be made of wood.

    But my first thought when reading this was how long we have to watch to see how many thousands of kinds enter through that one door and settle in their allotted spaces. Elephant kind and rodent kind and snake kind and dinosaur kind.

  5. Doesn’t that go against Ham’s denial of ‘historical science’?

  6. chris schilling

    VR. Robot guides. Seats that move and poke you.

    God the Great Abortionist in the Sky failed to eradicate sin from the world, and Ken and co. can’t get the failed message across without resorting to all this gee-whiz technology.

  7. Charley Horse X

    sit in seats that move (and even poke you!), Vibrate, too?

  8. Stephen Kennedy

    If a benefactor has already paid for this equipment, why the extra charge? It is likely after a three month shutdown with no revenue and Covid 19 still going strong and suppressing attendance Hambo is in desperate need of cash. I wonder how is going to make the payments on the junk bonds he financed the ark park with? I do not think a pandemic and recession figured in financial plan.

  9. When Hambone installs the zip lines from the top of the Ark’s giant wooden tail fin I’m there.

  10. Derek Freyberg

    But does it come with SurroundSmell? – the technology that really lets you know you’ve been on a small boat with a bunch of wild animals for a year.

  11. Dave Luckett

    For my part, I wonder how many of the people who experience this VR think that it “proves” in some sense the reality of the story. That is, how many of them have difficulty in assimilating the very idea of fiction?

  12. @Hans asks an important question: “Doesn’t that go against Ham’s denial of ‘historical science’?”
    No, because the Bible as interpreted by Ol’Hambo is the ultimate historical source.

  13. Would only a philistine wonder about how many find in “Paradise Lost” a justification of God’s ways to man. I

  14. @FrankB – yes, that’s right. Science is welcome if it supports their views (which is not necessarily what the Bible says). But let’s hear it in the creationist’s own words (from Creation Ministries – the local branch here in the Southern Ocean):

    “We love real science! But it needs to be in a ministerial role, helping us to understand Scripture, not in the magisterial role where it overrides Scripture …” (Jonathan Sarfati, 31 March 2020)

  15. Watching Noah build the Ark…….

    Disney thought its new 18 minute ride was long, but this one will be closer to 600 years, right?

    🙂

  16. science … helping us to understand Scripture
    This seems to say that Scripture might not have been properly understood for some 2000 years (or maybe even 3000 years, counting from the time of Moses) until science began to help us. Isn’t there something disturbing about that? Can’t God make himself clear, to at least some people, over a substantial period of time?

  17. Dave Luckett

    Sarfati is simply saying that he doesn’t accept reality. Yes, and? He’s a Biblical literalist. Of course he doesn’t accept reality. What else is new?

  18. @TomS kicks in an open door: “This seems to say that Scripture might not have been properly understood for some 2000 years”
    Of course it hasn’t been properly understood – we should consider ourselves lucky that there are people like Ol’Hambo and Jonny Sarfati to explain the Good Book to us!

  19. Ole Hambo promises us an experience in which

    [t]he quality is like anything you’d expect from Disney

    So: unreal, kitschy, over-priced and about as intellectually nourishing as cotton candy?

  20. skmarshall

    Speaking of Disney, maybe Ham will name his new ride “It’s a Drool World”

  21. Theodore Lawry

    So Ken Ham spent $100 million to build a hardware Ark replica, which was worth the price because the Ark needed to be “real.” But now he is one-upping it with a VR headset which displays whatever was programmed into it! Doesn’t that make the hardware Ark a huge waste of money? Total fantasy software “reality” easily beats hardware’s crude imitation of real life, at least as far as entertainment is concerned.

  22. @Theodore Lawry
    Yes. To actually build something takes more than just design.

  23. @TheoL: “Doesn’t that make the hardware Ark a huge waste of money?”
    No, because it already was a huge waste of money.

  24. If I wanted to visit the reality of the ark, I could just as easily go to any empty lot. There’s your reality right there.