Today we have a new addition to our series about Self-Published Geniuses. This is where we bring you news of authors with a vanity press book in which the author claims to have made paradigm-shattering discoveries, and announces his work by hiring a press release service.
The title of the press release is Robin Stone’s newly released “Creation: The Theory of Timely Things” is a brilliant study [It’s brilliant!] that sheds light on the creation’s biggest unanswered mysteries . Like so many others in our collection, it was issued by Cision PRWeb, which says it’s “the leader in online news distribution and publicity.” Here are some excerpts from the press release, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
“Creation: The Theory of Timely Things”: an interesting thesis discussing how biblical history and science are deemed in sync with each other. [They’re in sync!] “Creation: The Theory of Timely Things” is the creation of published author Robin Stone, an excellent writer born in Texas in the middle of the twentieth century.
Interestingly, all we’re told about the brilliant author is that he was “born in Texas in the middle of the twentieth century.” But it’s more than enough! The press release quotes the author:
Stone shares, “I understand that some may call me controversial for writing this thesis. In fact, a good friend of mine refuses to look at it for fear of going against the thoughts of his denomination on the subject. The controversial part is a phrase. It states that God’s science and man’s science are not the same.
Controversial indeed! The author’s quote goes on:
“In ancient times, the phrase was true. We had no science. But we have learned more over the centuries. Will we ever grow into God’s science? I don’t know. I’m not trying to convince you of anything. The thesis is written in a way that allows all to form their own opinions. As far as I can see, anything less is blindness.
You can form your own opinion, dear reader. Isn’t that wonderful? Then the author tells us:
“The scientists that made me ask, ‘If not God’s science, then whose?’ are stilling us [Stilling us?] about the boundaries of our universe. I thank them deeply for their contributions. They are the Bible, Josh Wilferd, Nova, Albert Einstein, Neal DeGrasse Tyson, esteemed astrophysicists, World Book, Inc., the Green Kingdom Volume 6, Prentiss Hall Elementary science textbook, the crew of the Hubble Telescope, and NASA. They want to tell us what they know. I have thoroughly enjoyed working on this project. I hope as much that you enjoy reading it.”
What did he say? Unless you can help us, dear reader, it’s going to take your Curmudgeon months to figure it out. Anyway, the press release continues:
Published by Christian Faith Publishing [Aha!], Robin Stone’s new book is a fascinating read that brings the readers important knowledge and understanding, and at the same time, gives room for everyone to shape their own opinions on the subject matter.
We’ve seen that publisher’s name a number of times before. Here’s their website: Christian Faith Publishing. It leaves no doubt — they’re a vanity publisher. They even let authors pay their fees on a monthly installment plan. With that, and the press release, we know the book qualifies for our collection. Here’s one last excerpt:from the press release:
View a synopsis of “Creation: The Theory of Timely Things” on YouTube [link omitted].
We don’t intend to visit that link. Instead, we looked for the book at Amazon — and we found it: Here it is! It costs only $12.95 in paperback, and it’s worth every penny! The book has an astounding total of 34 pages — that’s right, thirty-four! Amazon has a “Look inside” feature, so go ahead — look inside! There are no reviews yet. You can be the first!
That’s all we’ve got on this one, dear reader. But what more do you need? Go ahead, buy the book, and then tell us all about it. We’ll be waiting, right here!
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