Today we have a new addition to our series about Self-Published Geniuses. This is where we bring you news of authors with a vanity press book in which the author claims to have made paradigm-shattering discoveries, and announces his work by hiring a press release service.
But this one is exceptional. The author isn’t using a press release firm — at least not yet. He seems to be generating his own publicity. And as a special feature, the author is nominating himself for a Nobel Prize! How’s that for confidence? We learned about it thanks to a tip from our super-secret highly placed clandestine operative, who doesn’t even have a code name.
The website where our operative learned about this amazing author has this headline: Author expects to receive the Nobel Prize for new books – ‘The Science of Physics – Proof That God Exists’ and ‘Remaking Humans’. That mentions two books, but to keep our head from exploding, we’ll only discuss the first one. Here are some excerpts from the article, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
Most important Scientific Discovery in history! [Wow!] Albert Einstein, up to the day he died, attempted to prove that ‘The Force’ existed [What?] but the math proved to be too much even for this magnificent brain. We invented a new number for this purpose [Huh?] and came up with the world’s most important mathematical formula – easy enough for anyone to understand and use in their daily lives.
What formula are they talking about? Be patient, all will be revealed. The article says:
It all started with the discovery of the God Particle. [Groan!] From here, we could infer that the universe was created for a reason. [Ah yes!] Moving along to the next most important discovery in Science [That’s “science” but with a capital “S”], we learned that when electrons become entangled – like two people meeting at a bar – they may fall in love and never forget about their new lover. [Electrons in love!] When the state of one of these sub-atomic life forms [Life forms?] changes, the other ‘married’ partner changes its state to counter-act their lover. This happens regardless of distance with zero time expanded. Clearly something magical is happening.
That might be the most amazing paragraph that has ever appeared at our humble blog. Want more? Sure you do! The next paragraph begins with a quote mark. Presumably they’re quoting the brilliant author:
“From the day that Charles Darwin taught us about Evolution and Natural Selection – things have been unsettled in the realm of human spirituality because it is one of our most basic instincts that God exists and loves us, while ‘Darwinism’ propounded that all life has evolved on this planet merely by accident, or random chance – no evidence of any Creative Force anywhere.
The quoted material continues:
“But – new knowledge propounded in this book shows that Darwin was only partially correct and that ‘Random Selection’ can now be replaced confidently to become known as ‘Artificial Selection’. [Gasp!] This means that Evolution of our species is no longer left to chance and instead will be directed by us as a direct ‘pay-it-forward’ to our Creator and carried forth by a form of intelligence that is based on our own intelligence, but is highly improved, streamlined, immortal and without all or most of our human flaws.”
Isn’t this the most amazing stuff you’ve ever read? And there’s more! It says:
Michael Mathiesen – Author – Remaking Humans and The Science of Physics – Proof that God Exists …
What follows that is a picture of the book cover. We’ll take it as a cue to give you a link to the book at Amazon — here it is! The cost is only $14.95 in paperback — quite reasonable for a book comprised of 158 pages. The publisher is listed as Michael Mathiesen, which is also the name of the author — self-published indeed! Amazon has a “Look inside” feature, so go ahead — look inside! There are no reviews yet. You can be the first!
Returning to the article we’ve been reading, we’re told:
The Science Of Physics explains a new formula that is literally an I.O.U. between you and the universe. [Very exciting!] Either the universe owes us all or we all owe the universe. The energy goes both ways at all times. A new number, created by the author – Zero to the exponent of Infinity [Wow!] explains our place in the universe and the placement of all other energies in a simple easy-to-understand summary of the Laws Of Physics.
Zero to the exponent of Infinity — that would be 0∞. Very impressive!
Okay, that’s enough. We know you’re going to buy the book, dear reader. And we have no doubt that the author will win his Nobel Prize. He certainly deserves it!
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