Creationist Clothing You Can Wear!

This is fantastically wonderful news, dear reader. It comes from — who else? — Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. At the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry, he just posted Ark Encounter and Creation Museum T-Shirts Get People Talking. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

In both the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum gift shops [links omitted], we offer a variety of different teaching items, as well as unique Ark/Creation Museum messaged apparel and “souvenirs.” But we try to make sure everything — from bookmarks to notebooks to stuffed animals — contains some sort of teaching to equip and encourage believers or challenge unbelievers with the truth of God’s Word.

Yes, it’s very important to challenge those hell-bound unbelievers. Hambo says:

Well, we recently heard from one guest whose hoodie purchase [Wowie! A hoodie!] has helped him start meaningful conversations with others. D.S. writes,

[Hambo quotes from the D.S. letter:] About 2 years ago, we brought our youth group to the Creation Museum and Ark Encounter. We all enjoyed it immensely! [Of course!] My students were so overwhelmed with what they learned and began buying books rather than the traditional souvenirs! I never in my life expected students to buy books but they were so encouraged and wanted to learn more. Much of their desire was to be able to stand up in class and refute false teachings. [Hooray!]

While we were there, I purchased a black and green hoodie. [Very stylish and tasteful!] I wear it all the time. I have never in my life gotten so many comments and questions about a piece of clothing. I constantly get compliments on the wording and have had numerous people in stores, and even the hospital, ask me about the museum and I send them your way! (I even found out that the mother of a girl we take care of is being convicted by the message of the shirt!!) [Convicted?]

Regretfully it is wearing out now and I believe it was on clearance when I got it. But I just wanted to share that the shirts serve a much higher purpose. I do ministry marketing and have seen very few tools work as well to market a ministry as I have seen with this sweatshirt! Thank you for your ministry.

After that very inspiring letter, Hambo ends with this:

You can find a selection of apparel in the gift stores at either attraction, or check out the smaller selection on our online store at These sweatshirts, t-shirts, and hats are a wonderful way of starting conversations about God’s Word and the gospel with others.

What are you waiting for, dear reader? Go get ’em!

Copyright © 2020. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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15 responses to “Creationist Clothing You Can Wear!

  1. A great way to ensure 6 foot spacing in public.

  2. “Yes, it’s very important to challenge those hell-bound unbelievers. ”
    Isn’t Ol’Hambo wonderful? He gives my life meaning, even if I didn’t ask for it!

    “and began buying books rather than the traditional souvenirs!”
    For some mysterious reason I suspect that Jerry Coyne’s Why Evolution is True and Donald Prothero’s What the Fossils Say are not among them.

    “I wear it all the time.”
    As we’re dealing with a literalist I cannot help but wonder how that smelled after a couple of months.

    “that the shirts serve a much higher purpose”
    Ah, that deals with less desirable side effects of wearing it all the time.

    “What are you waiting for, dear reader? Go get ’em!”
    Inspired by this joyful blogpost I clicked over at AIG and got disappointed immediately. They advertise as a T-shirt with “Taking back Rainbow”! That’s something I’d like with one slight modification: I would stitch a pink triangle underneath it, even if I’m totally straight.

    Especially when visiting the Gay Wooden Box I would wear it.

  3. @FrankB
    How about “Unweaving the Rainbow”, by Dawkins?

  4. Michael Fugate

    “that the shirts serve a much higher purpose”
    Making money for Ham?

  5. chris schilling

    “I do ministry marketing and have seen very few tools work as well to market a ministry as I have seen with this sweatshirt!”

    How about a fig leaf with the message:

  6. Dawkins? Traditionally published. Here’s the Objective evidence: Sensational Trials 20th Century – Dawkins Turnip Trial

  7. Dave Luckett

    genuinentertainmentex7: Your latest is incoherent, even by your usual standards. Are you referring to this:
    or something else?

  8. @DaveL: does it really matter to what crap Notsogenuine refers to? Still your link is fun, so thanks.

    “that person is ignorant, stupid, insane, or wicked.”
    Notsogenuine qualifies for at least two of them.

    “His presupposition is that Darwinian evolution based on common descent is an established fact as reliable as the law of gravity.”
    Stupidity due to ignorance. It’s not a presupposition, modern evolution theory has not been Darwinian anymore since a long time, while the reliability of evolution theory is established indeed it’s not a fact but a solid conclusion and finally the law of gravity is not a theory, but part of a theory.

    “even worse maybe you came from a turnip or a banana”
    More stupidity due to ignorance. This is not what common descent means. It’s even more stupid because Hankypanky gets it right the next time:

    “suggesting that you and I are the distant cousins of bananas and turnips”
    Still it’s remarkable that Hankypanky needs to repeat this over and over again – apparently he assumes that his readers are too stupid to get it the first time.

    “He is saying that inequality within in the races is an established fact.”
    Ah, Hankypanky is wicked too. I have all kinds of objections to Dawkins, but no, he hasn’t ever said this.

    “In other words, he is saying that there is a degradation of races.”
    Those other words are Hankypanky’s, not Dawkins’ or any other evolutionary biologist’s. Ah, where would a creacrapper remain without lying?

    At this point is clear that would-be prosecutor Hankypanky has become the one who’s tried. He already is guilty of three out of four charges – ignorant, stupid and wicked.
    As Notsogenuine promotes this crap he obviously is guilty of two charges as well.

  9. One more gem: “Evolution is crumbling! ….. we’re no longer in 19th century science, Richard Dawkins ….”
    Uh yes, that’s why it’s both stupid and ignorant to attack Darwin’s book instead of the 21st Century version of evolution theory.
    Keep’em coming, Notsogenuine, every single comment of yours is another disgrace for the crap you try to promote.

  10. Michael Fugate

    Gravity can’t be true because if someone thought it was, then they might throw you off the top of a building or drop something on your head?

    It is interesting to see the sides taken when Black people were killed in Jamaica in 1865. Much like the US South after the civil war, Black people were free, but denied equality.

  11. @C Shilling. Good point. After “the fall” when they realized they were naked, I doubt Adam and Eve reached for a hoodie sweatshirt.

  12. The law is not a way of determining truth. It is a way of arriving at justice.
    For example:
    1. If evidence has been obtained by an unjust means, it will not be accepted. Torture, self-incrimination, lack of warrant, etc.
    2. A case must come to a conclusion in a reasonable time. There cannot be, “We don’t know, one way or the other.”
    3. There are just two sides. The conclusion cannot say that they are both wrong, and some third party is the winner.
    4. The two sides are adversaries, not trying to get to the truth, but must try to win at the expense of the other.
    And on and on.

  13. Michael Fugate

    Doing mock trials is a great way to convince the already convinced – one would think it was apologetics…

  14. A high school that I heard about participates in a form of debate which is not modeled on a trial. The contestants attempt to arrive a mutual agreement, not to defend a position. I haven’t seen it in action, so I can’t say much about it. Perhaps someone has more information.
    This blog gives an example, where no one is shamed in making a mistake. I find it instructive for me to be corrected.