For what may be the last time in your wretched, sinful life, you are being given a chance to learn something worthwhile — instead of the Darwinist trash you were fed when you were in school. This opportunity comes from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.
At the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry, he just posted Calling All Students — Join Us for Our Free Creation College Expo, November 5–7, 2020. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
If you’re an upper middle school or high school student, mark these dates on your calendar — November 5–7, 2020. Those three days, we’re hosting our annual Creation College Expo at the Ark Encounter in Northern Kentucky. Oh, and did I mention this event is free — and it includes free admission to the Ark Encounter?
Wowie! It’s free, and you get free admission to Hambo’s ark! What an opportunity! Then Hambo says:
Many of the nation’s leading Christian colleges and universities — and only those who will sign AiG’s Tenets of Creation statement, holding to biblical creation and a young earth — are represented at this exciting event. Students in grades 7–12 can visit one-on-one with representatives from these schools, learn more about programs and offerings, and hear from world-class apologetics speakers, including Dr. Georgia Purdom, Bodie Hodge, Dr. Jennifer Rivera, and me.
We’re overwhelmed. That must be the most incredible gathering of brilliant creationists ever assembled! You gotta be impressed, dear reader. And that’s not all. Hambo tells us:
Registered students receive free Ark Encounter admission [Free!], and their accompanying families enjoy 20% off their tickets. (And, remember: kids 10 and under are free for all of 2020!) Students and their families also receive 20% off admission to the Creation Museum 45 minutes away.
Amazing. Absolutely amazing. Only Hambo could put together a deal like this. Here’s how his post ends:
I encourage you to register for this free event today so we can prepare for your arrival. You can learn more about creation colleges at CreationColleges.org. [Links omitted.]
We can’t remember ever seeing anything like this before. Even if you think you’re too old to go to college, don’t be discouraged. It’s never too late! Do it now, before you end up a grumpy old Darwinist headed for the Lake of Fire.
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