Here’s Your Chance To Learn Something

For what may be the last time in your wretched, sinful life, you are being given a chance to learn something worthwhile — instead of the Darwinist trash you were fed when you were in school. This opportunity comes from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

At the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry, he just posted Calling All Students — Join Us for Our Free Creation College Expo, November 5–7, 2020. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

If you’re an upper middle school or high school student, mark these dates on your calendar — November 5–7, 2020. Those three days, we’re hosting our annual Creation College Expo at the Ark Encounter in Northern Kentucky. Oh, and did I mention this event is free — and it includes free admission to the Ark Encounter?

Wowie! It’s free, and you get free admission to Hambo’s ark! What an opportunity! Then Hambo says:

Many of the nation’s leading Christian colleges and universities — and only those who will sign AiG’s Tenets of Creation statement, holding to biblical creation and a young earth — are represented at this exciting event. Students in grades 7–12 can visit one-on-one with representatives from these schools, learn more about programs and offerings, and hear from world-class apologetics speakers, including Dr. Georgia Purdom, Bodie Hodge, Dr. Jennifer Rivera, and me.

We’re overwhelmed. That must be the most incredible gathering of brilliant creationists ever assembled! You gotta be impressed, dear reader. And that’s not all. Hambo tells us:

Registered students receive free Ark Encounter admission [Free!], and their accompanying families enjoy 20% off their tickets. (And, remember: kids 10 and under are free for all of 2020!) Students and their families also receive 20% off admission to the Creation Museum 45 minutes away.

Amazing. Absolutely amazing. Only Hambo could put together a deal like this. Here’s how his post ends:

I encourage you to register for this free event today so we can prepare for your arrival. You can learn more about creation colleges at [Links omitted.]

We can’t remember ever seeing anything like this before. Even if you think you’re too old to go to college, don’t be discouraged. It’s never too late! Do it now, before you end up a grumpy old Darwinist headed for the Lake of Fire.

Copyright © 2020. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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17 responses to “Here’s Your Chance To Learn Something

  1. siluriantrilobite

    Almighty Curmudgeon omitted a list of participating Kooky Creation Colleges apparently because they were not listed on Ham’s blogpost. A listing of KCCs is found elsewhere on AiG’s website: Alas, there is no guarantee that all these powerhouses of intellect will be at the KCC Expo. Your child will go far with a degree from Bob Jones or Cedarville. Who knows they may become a creation scientist, or get real job security by marrying one of Ham’s relations..

    Sent from my iPad


  2. Michael Fugate

    I am impressed st. Many of them are just Bible schools with 100 students or so. Others have tacked on technical courses like cosmetology and welding. And now you can read the Bible online. Even better are the ones which are unaccredited with faculties who all got PhDs in house and websites designed in the early 90s. One would be incredibly limited at these places. I would bet most of the faculty could be fired on a dime or are on 1 year contracts.

  3. I wonder about the situation of some senior faculty. Consider someone in one’s 50s, whose employment history is exclusively teaching, let’s say Old Testament in this school. And he begins to have difficulties with Moses as the sole author of the Pentateuch. He dare not even discuss these difficulties with his colleagues, to seek out a resolution, lest he risk immediate dismissal. Maybe not, maybe the probability is rather low, but if he were dismissed, he is umimployable. No conservative school would want to hire a teacher who is suspect. No other school would be interested in hiring someone without credentials. And he is getting old. Does he even have a vested retirement plan, or does that disappear with his job?
    Do I understand the situation?

  4. “… Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.“

    It should be noted that Hambo has some competition for this ayatollah title from none other than our very own president and self-proclaimed stable genius, Donald J. Trump. It’s hard to distinguish between the two of these men of superior intelligence.

  5. Dave Luckett

    TomS: That situation is obviously real, and might go far to explain the extraordinary degree of solidarity in the fundamentalist camp. A teacher of Old Testament studies at a fundamentalist college must keep any doubts severely to themself, or destroy their own livelihood, not merely their current employment. There is nowhere else they can go. A more theologically liberal school might be able to accommodate conservative values of scriptural authority, but could never compromise on the necessity for critical examination of the source texts, and would certainly require a publication record that reflected that quality.

    A somewhat parallel situation exists at other extremes, mind. It is not only fundamentalist Bible colleges that anathematize those who voice doubts about the prevailing orthodoxy.

  6. “instead of the Darwinist trash you were fed when you were in school”
    Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa – my (secular) schools didn’t teach evolution theory. My decision to swallow it is entirely my own responsibility.

    “and only those who will sign AiG’s”
    Yeah, Ol’Hambo doesn’t accept fluff like Teaching the Controversy. Anyone willing to bet that the IDiots from Seattle will start complaining?

  7. It always gets my blood boiling when they specifically target children, indoctrinating them with lies in the name of Christianity.

  8. Michael Fugate

    And will the DI complain about the recent court decision concluding that it is ok to fire workers at religious schools and businesses because all employees are ministers? Then there are the old liberals complaining that young people not only have the opportunity, but have the temerity to question their values. We do need to reconsider our values and our heroes from time to time. And when someone points out we are mistaken, to learn from that and not double down on our mistakes.

    There was an interesting exchange in the Guardian over the letter (which may have been written by monkeys at typewriters) in Harper’s.

  9. Dave Luckett

    Questioning values like freedom of speech? And to question is one thing. It is perfectly legitimate to question, for example, how far free speech extends, for like all rights, it is not absolute and unbounded. But if “questioning values” extends to forcibly silencing their expression, I say the hell with it.

  10. Michael Fugate


  11. This has happened before, this time and place of the most deliberate and consequential and defining of realities resulting in the deaths of not only nameless persons but whole cultures of unrecognized kinfolk that go about their daily routines on the simple but joyous faith in the believing of the sun’s rising in the morning and going to a job that supports not only their family but a place among other people like themselves.
    But again, it just got junked by the very people they allowed to speak for them on a local and national and international stage where only the most ardent of demagogues were able to defile thousands of years of simple but hard-won wisdom of the commonality of common sense…

    There is more, if you want to allow it…

  12. …because this superficial nattering each of you engaged in of the fulsome but tiresome equations that have relevance only in academic circles of hand-held intellectual sophists that is too often displayed in arguments of contentious little-boy’s embraces of wanting to be Big Boys in the media splashes of momentary acclaim, I will continue with the following…
    Viruses that streak through whole world communities wreaking the most dreadful of consequences have an intelligence of dismembering thousands of years of human discourse, and that of the keep-hood of human embrace defining the very essence of life itself.
    It has been said that viruses have been as consequential as genetic absolutes that have and continue to alter what we humans have arrived at, and that as homo sapiens is a dreadful but unalterable outcome that becomes a predicate of a future beyond comprehension.
    Rejoice then for living in this moment of time, for we will eventually become, at a minimum, a reflection of yesterday, no matter how imperfect. Because, before this cosmic stretch of time, there was an absolute and perfect but unknown spark that gave the universe and all the universes that were to come after an infinity of place that has a resplendence of worlds like ours.
    Perhaps we will prevail in a future not of absolutes but of fallible realities that eventually grants us peace and a glance of a future that beckons us home to the very stars that birthed us.
    For governments will always, as the fatal illustrative of history has shown us, will always, with a passion of deceit bought with that pound of flesh called patriotism, betray us. One’s allegiance, then, id found with that daunting but absolute grace called friendship, which befriends each of us, no matter how tardy our acceptance.

  13. Dave Luckett

    Yes, of course forcibly. Threats, bullying, hectoring, abusive and threatening behaviour, and shouting down or drowning out with noise comes under the heading of “force”, too.

  14. @DaveL: “It is perfectly legitimate to question, for example, how far free speech extends, for like all rights, it is not absolute and unbounded.”
    I completely agree.

    “But if “questioning values” extends to forcibly silencing their expression, I say the hell with it.”
    But simple minded as I am this looks like contradicting yourself to me. If free speech has boundaries those boundaries only can be protected by using force, even if only by governmental monopoly. The rechtsstaat threatens you with fines and jailtime in case you want to step over the boundaries set by that same rechtsstaat.

  15. Dave Luckett

    I accept the correction. I’m afraid that this is another case of “thus far and no further”. The restrictions we have are sufficient. Threats; incitement to crime; urging a breach of the peace; words directly responsible for physical injury or material loss (Judge Oliver Wendell Holmes’s example of shouting “fire!” in a crowded theatre), fraud under some circumstances; and perjury are criminal. Defamation may be a civil offence. The State and the law may sanction those. But that much, and no more.

  16. For once I think that I understood a bit of what Kae is saying, and actually agree on some points!

  17. Techreseller

    One other thing which I am surprised no one else brought up. Ken Ham: How do I bring in revenue in November? I got it. Charge Bible schools to have a table at my Ark Event. Allow students who show up free admission. Probably cannot travel there themselves so parents will and siblings will have to pay for entry. Brilliant.