Assuming humanity survives for several million more years, do you know what technology we will have? No, of course you don’t. And you certainly don’t know the technology of intelligent aliens who have already been around that long. But there is someone who does know. Yes, you guessed it. We’re talking about Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.
At the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry, he just posted Could Aliens Civilizations Move Their Star? Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
Just when you think you’ve seen everything, you spy the headline, “Alien civilisations could move their star to avoid a cosmic disaster.” Yes, you read that right.
The article that got ol’ Hambo all excited is this one, posted at the website of New Scientist, which describes itself as “the world’s most popular weekly science and technology magazine.” Unfortunately, you can’t read it without a subscription, What little we can read says:
The idea, thought up by Alexander Svoronos at Yale University, is called a Star Tug and would allow civilisations to avoid cosmic disasters.
Fortunately, Hambo tells us everything we need to know. With the advantage of his supremely advanced knowledge, he says, using scare quotes to convey his opinion of the research involved:
According to new “research,” advanced alien civilizations could use machines to move their star over many millions of years — and if we look for it, we might be able to see it!
Hambo knows that’s absurd, and he reveals more of what the article says:
This proposed alien machine would be a large structure that would orbit the sun, producing a gravitational pull that would drag the sun towards it. Thrusters would then pull the star along, and eventually, and over hundreds of millions of years, move a sun and solar system to a new galaxy. Why would they want to do that? Well, maybe to colonize other planets or escape a nearby supernova.
Fascinating (as Spock would say). Hambo tells us more:
One researcher even thinks we may be able to spot these aliens on the move, “most stars rotate around the galaxy in the same direction, but some don’t. ‘We think they’re natural . . . But if you see a lot of them, that might be a hint that something weird is going on.’”
That seems reasonable to us — but what does Hambo think? As expected:
This absurd article brings a verse of Scripture immediately to mind, “Claiming to be wise, they became fools” (Romans 1:22).
According to Hambo, those researchers are fools! He explains their problem:
What nonsense people invent when they reject God’s Word as the authority. They will believe anything — except, that is, the true history recorded in God’s Word.
Ah yes, that’s the problem. Those scientists have rejected The Truth™. Here’s how Hambo ends his article:
Instead of looking for non-existent “Star Tugs,” these researchers would do better to look for the One who is not far from us (Acts 17:27) and who has left a testimony to his existence in everything he has made (Romans 1:20) — and revealed himself to us through his Word and the person of Jesus Christ.
Hambo is brilliant, as always. There is nothing more to be said.
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