Hambo Is On a Holy Mission

We remember when creationism was a serious threat to our education system, but nowadays it’s just a source of amusement. As if to demonstrate that, they’re reduced to blogging about their fan mail at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG). That’s the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

Ol’ Hambo posted this today at his personal blog: “[Ark Encounter] Finally Brought Me to the Lord”. Those are Hambo’s brackets and quote marks. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

In the midst of the darkness of our world [Darkness?], God is still saving people! By his Holy Spirit, he is using believers, churches, and Christian outreaches to reach people with the gospel message and see them brought to a saving knowledge of his Son. And we recently received a testimony from someone who God saved after he visited the Ark Encounter.

When Hambo receives a fan letter, it’s a “testimony.” He says:

The following gentleman donated to the ministry [Ooooooooooooh! He donated!] and one of our teams reached out to him to say thank you and ask how we as a ministry could be praying for him. He then wrote this back to us:

Hambo then gives us the text of the donor’s “testimony,” with bracketed material presumably added by Hambo:

Thank you so much! I’m actually wishing I could do more and hope to in the future. [That’s wonderful!] It is actually this ark replica [Ark Encounter] that finally brought me to the Lord, so thank you and may God bless what y’all are doing! . . .

It really is an understatement just how much I appreciate this ark. I would most likely still be lost without it.

How is that possible? The donor’s letter explains:

I always felt if one thing was off in the Bible, then it all could be wrong. I never could believe the ark could hold all that it was said to hold. To see it does, and with space left over, I was ready to accept God’s calling.

What an inspiring tale! Hambo is understandably thrilled, and he tells us:

Testimonies like this are why we do what we do! [Yes, of course!] Both the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum, as well as our website and resources, boldly defend the authority of God’s Word [Boldly!], answer the skeptical questions of our day, and present the life-changing message of the gospel. Just as heaven rejoices when one lost sinner repents (Luke 15:10), so do we! [Ooooooooooooh!] Praise God for his grace in saving, and we’re so humbled and grateful that he chooses to use us for his eternal purposes.

Hambo has been chosen for his glorious work! He finishes with this:

We’ve always been bold about the fact the Ark and Creation Museum are unique evangelistic attractions for the whole family. Come to N. Kentucky and visit these facilities that honor God and his Word — fun, safe, family-friendly attractions! Visit ArkEncounter.com and CreationMuseum.org to start planning your trip today.

What more encouragement could you possibly want? Start making your plans, dear reader. It could change your life — for eternity!

Copyright © 2020. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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7 responses to “Hambo Is On a Holy Mission

  1. “It could change your life — for eternity!”
    For us non-Americans eternity might not last too long, given that the USA is nr. 1 again – this time when it comes to corona risk.

  2. Dave Luckett

    He tells us that the question of how much the Ark could hold was the one uppermost in his mind abour the Flood story. If that were the case, he has just indicated the value of his religion in moral terms. That value is drastically negative. He’s not amoral, not merely a moral vacuum. He’s immoral to the point of monsterhood.

    The God he now says he worships killed everyone – men, women, children, babes in arms, everyone, and everything that could drown, all of it – because of that God’s rage over unspecified “wickedness”. If your first reaction to that fictional event is to doubt the carrying capacity of the boat, it’s not merely your sense of reality that needs fundamental and radical rectification. It’s your character to its roots and the entire structure of your ethical fabric.

    That, of course, goes for Ken Ham and his entire cadre, but we knew that already.

  3. @Dave Luckett makes a valid observation.
    I wonder how one would come to the conclusion that the ark-thingy shows anything about the possibilities of Noah’s Ark. If anything, it shows how difficult it is to construct a big boat which could accommodate a large variety of animals. This thing does not attempt to show such a variety. Nor does it attempt to float.

  4. Michael Fugate

    “I never thought God could do it until I saw the big fake boat, but now I am totally convinced God could have done it.”

    “It is like putting your hand in Jesus’ side. I doubted it could be done, but there they were every animal I ever heard of right there in the big fake boat.”

  5. It reminds me of this argument for design:
    “Life is so much beyond any design that we could plan that life must be designed.”
    “Noah’s Ark is so much beyond our capability of building that I am convinced that it could be built.”

    Is there some common flaw in human thought exemplified?

  6. Eddie Janssen

    This is clever. He makes the trip to his attractions sound like a pilgrimage.
    All he needs now is some kind of miracle on the premises to make it official.

  7. I wonder if Hambo wrote that letter to himself? The Ark Encounter is preaching to the choir. Anyone skeptical enough to question the Ark’s veracity would be too skeptical to pay the absurd price of admission.