Hambo Explains Why You Need the Bible

If you’re a typical naturalistic darwinist fool, you probably go for days at a time — perhaps even longer! — without reading your bible. If so, then pay attention, because this is for you.

Your spiritual emptiness will soon be a thing of the past because there is someone who can — at last — fill the void in your life. Yes, you guessed it. We’re talking about Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

At the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), Hambo’s creationist ministry, he just posted Discover “Why the Bible?” with Living Waters. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

Why should we start our thinking with the Bible? [Yeah, why?] How can we know the Bible is true? Of all the books in the world, why use the Bible?

Those are powerful questions, and they probably keep you awake at night. So pay attention! Hambo says:

Get answers at a special online conference event [Link included!] from our friends at the ministry of Living Waters, Saturday, August 29, 2020, from 12–5 p.m. (ET). This conference features my good friend Ray Comfort, me, and many others.

Ooooooooooooh! You probably know who Ray Comfort is. The former street preacher is best known for his starring role in Ray Comfort’s “Banana video”. He and Hambo have been buddies for quite a while now — see Hambo & Ray Comfort — The Dynamic Duo. Okay, on with the post. Hambo tells us:

This online event is structured in the popular “TED talk” style [Your Curmudgeon never heard of it!], where each speaker presents a condensed “best of” presentation on their topic. You’ll get answers to questions such as these: How can we know the Bible was inspired by God? Why is it reliable? Is God a “moral monster”?

Those are interesting questions. Does Hambo’s “TED talk” really answer them? Anyway, he continues:

“Why the Bible?” will conclude with a Q&A panel where we will take your questions live.

Ooooooooooooh! They’ll take your questions live — but only if you register to participate. Let’s read on:

During this one-day event, you’ll hear from me and the following: [Long list of creationists.] I’ll be speaking on how we can understand a loving God in a world of death, suffering, and disease.

That’s an interesting subject. He ends with this:

I encourage you to register today for this exciting online event. [Exciting!] … In a time when many people — including Christians — are neglecting to read their Bibles, we need the encouragement to know that God’s Word can be trusted and has answers to the questions of our day.

Okay, dear reader. You know what you gotta do. Click over there, get registered, and tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent ya!

Copyright © 2020. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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25 responses to “Hambo Explains Why You Need the Bible

  1. 2 Kings 2:24 is one of my favorites. It beats the droning on about curtain color and how to hang them.

  2. A LOVING gawd in this world of death IT CREATED!!! Some love!!!

  3. Theodore J Lawry

    @Paul S. Woah! The death penalty, straight from the LORD, for children of call a man a “bald head” I would say that “Good Book” Ham has some ‘splaining to do!

  4. See apoptosis, cell death, part of the process of growth.
    John 12:24 -: Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.

  5. Dave Luckett

    Forty-two children – the text says “boys” – mauled by bears is a bagatelle. The Lord killed all the first-born children of Egypt, not for anything they did, or their parents did, but for something their ruler did that they had no say in at all. Oh, he’s very free with the death penalty, Old Yahweh the Only, the angry god of the Hebrews. Er, the one they worshipped back around 500 BCE and before, that is.

    The rabbis who wrote the Talmud decided that the old boy was just going to have to take his meds and stop smiting people, around 400-700 CE, when they made it practically impossible to execute anybody. Thus demonstrated that we humans, at our best, are better than God is, at least when he’s at his worst. In fact (whisper it!) we might be, on average, the same as he is, on average. In fact (don’t even whisper this!) we might be him.

  6. Michael Fugate

    I just wonder why no one has magic sticks anymore.

  7. @Dave Luckett
    And, as far as those Egyptian deaths, remember who hardened Pharaoh’s heart?

  8. Right! I do need the bible as it is big enough and heavy enough to be our door stop!!

  9. “…our friends at the ministry of Living Waters…”

    Is she Maxine’s sister?

  10. Proverbs 4:7 — “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.”

    If Ham took this one passage to heart and spent just half as much time in “getting understanding” as he does promoting his tourist attractions, he truly would “know more about science than everyone else.”

    And for the “Most Ignored” directive of Jesus, there’s Matthew 6:5-7
    5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.

  11. @ Paul S: Even more breathtaking IMHO is the sophistry modern day Xtian fundamentalists deploy to justify that passage, e.g. 2 Kings 2:23–24—How could a man of God curse these 42 young men so that they were mauled by she-bears?

    Solution: First of all, this was no minor offense, for these young men held God’s prophet in contempt. Since the prophet was God’s mouthpiece to His people, God Himself was being most wickedly insulted in the person of His prophet.

    Second, these were not small, innocent children. They were wicked young men, comparable to a modern street gang. Hence, the life of the prophet was endangered by their number, the nature of their sin, and their obvious disrespect for authority….

    –and the apologists drone on with several more fatuous ‘solutions’ to the issue. But it’s not stuff for the faint-hearted nor weak of stomach…

  12. They have honed their skills for quote mining on Bible texts.

  13. Michael Fugate

    Blasphemy deserves death – but these same people claim to be “pro-life”. As if God can’t take care of itself?
    How does it follow from Adam’s “sin” that anyone is innocent?

    Then there is their misuse of philosophy (I guess that is why they have PhDs)
    Likewise, as shown, inerrancy logically follows from two premises that are clearly taught in Scripture, namely:
    (1)God cannot err. [How does this follow from the Bible?]
    (2)The Bible is the Word of God.
    (3)Therefore, the Bible cannot err.
    So, like the Trinity, inerrancy is taught implicitly and logically, if not formally and explicitly.

    Norman Geisler, who started that site, testified at the Arkansas creation trial – he yammers about historical science, naturalism, and, of course, randomness. The man knew nothing about anything.
    Asked if he believed in the “inerrancy of Scripture,” Geisler replied that he believes that “everything the Bible affirms is true is true.” Siano then asked him about his beliefs about Satan, and Geisler responded that he believes Satan is a personal, supernatural being who is a fallen angel, that other angels fell with him in rebellion against God, that he is a deceiver, and that some satanic phenomena are demon possession, exorcism, parapsychology, and UFOs. When asked about the purpose of UFO encounters he said he believes they are “Satanic manifestations in the world for the purpose of deception.”

  14. “he believes Satan is a personal, supernatural being”
    So Geisler is a polytheist.

  15. Michael Fugate

    One also wonders why God’s actions aren’t selfless? A human will rescue another unrelated human or another living thing risking their life in the process, but God needs us to show respect first? Look at the section in Matthew 15 that Lita Costner based a thesis on, Jesus was going to ignore the woman’s suffering until she groveled enough for him to relent. God’s apparent motto is “what’s in it for me?”

  16. 1)God cannot err
    (2)The Bible is the Word of God.
    (3)Therefore, the Bible cannot err.

    But is it an error for something to be false?
    If a man with the intent to kill accosts me for information about his itended viction, is it an error for me to tell him something false?
    Humans are all sinners, and are not deserving of the truth, so how is it an error to tell them something false?
    Perhaps it is can be for our own best interests to withhold the truth, not an error.
    If people being killed is not an error, nor having property taken away, nor suffering eternal punishment, how can we say that less than “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth” is an error?

  17. Michael Fugate

    TomS – check out the lame rationalizations here…

  18. @Michael Fugate
    Thank you for that.
    I only started reading that, but I had to comment on the first rejoinder: to inerrancy is not taught in the Bible. They point out that, on that basis, the Trinity is not taught in the Bible.
    That puts one in one’s place!

  19. @MichaelF: it has been a while since I met such apologetic crap. My favourite is “The principle of falsifiability itself can be challenged. Is the principle itself falsifiable? If not, then it is self-defeating.”
    A genuine smartpants! And a hero moreover:


  20. Michael Fugate

    Why does death appear to be God’s answer to every problem?

  21. Dave Luckett

    Michael Fugate: Oh, it isn’t. Eternal infinite torture is. Naughty thoughts – eternal infinite torture. Genocide – eternal infinite torture. Not feeding the poor – eternal infinite torture. Not having faith – eternal infinite torture. Fallible, sinful, deluded, mistaken human beings think in our error that justice requires that the punishment should fit the crime. Obviously not. One size fits all, for almighty God. Oh, and for questioning Him… you can fill in the rest..

  22. @Dave Luckett
    Isn’t it Adam’s Fall that results in infinite torture for his descendants?

  23. Dave Luckett

    TomS: not exactly. Original sin would be sufficient to damn a soul, save for the grace won by the incarnation, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. If one accepts that grace, one need not fear damnation on that head. That is the problem I mentioned above: if one has no faith in that transaction, can the grace be said to be accepted? If not – and the majority opinion appears to be “not” – then that lack of faith will entail damnation.

    Me, I reckon that I can accept anything that might be offered, without bothering my head about whether the offer is real or not, or whether I understand why it has to be done that way. Because I don’t, you see.

  24. Michael Fugate

    And that is why God’s love is not unconditional – it depends on one hearing about Jesus, believing what one hears, and groveling for forgiveness. If one hears about Jesus from young earth creationists should one believe what one hears? What amazes me is that theologians with PhDs from accredited schools and programs can not only try to rationalize the Bible, but actually believe that their rationalizations are sound.

  25. Megalonyx
    Biblical inerrancy is the mother of fabrication.