We were shocked — shocked! — by what what was posted today by Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. Hambo’s latest at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry, is titled Drag Queen Story Hour: “Love Has No Age”. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
“Love has no age.” That phrase [link omitted], along with three “partying face” emojis and a photo of an individual dressed in a rainbow suit and matching umbrella, was recently tweeted from the Drag Queen Story Hour UK Twitter account [What?], according to screenshots captured before the tweet was reportedly deleted and the account locked. “Love has no age” — now what does that mean?
What is material like this doing at Hambo’s website? Let’s stay with it — for a little while — and maybe we’ll figure it out. Hambo says:
Well, considering that Drag Queen Story Hours are directed at children and encouraging them to accept others “no matter how different they are,” it would seem that the phrase means exactly what you’d think it means: pedophilia is just love and since “love wins,” we need to just accept and celebrate that “love has no age.” After all, in our world today, all that matters is “feelings” and doing whatever is right in your own eyes!
Why is Hambo writing about pedophilia? What’s going on here? If this thing doesn’t shape up soon, we’re outta here! He tells us:
We’ve been saying for some time this phenomenon would be a next step for a culture that continues to reject all aspects of Christian morality based on the absolute authority of the Word of God.
Ooooooooooooh! Now we’re starting to understand. If you don’t accept Hambo’s teachings — all of them — then you’ll inevitably engage in depravity. Yes, that’s how Hambo sees things. He continues:
The sexual revolution continues its attack on children and the family. [Gasp!] God ordained marriage, the family, and sexuality when he created one man and one woman (not two children!) and brought them together into the unique “one flesh” union of marriage.
The bible is supposed to be your marriage manual; and if it isn’t — then anything goes! Let’s read on:
Unhinged from the truth of God’s Word, we’re only going to continue to see evils like pedophilia destroy our children, our families, and our nation. [Oh no!] What’s the solution? A return to the authority of the Word of God! Parents — train your children to think foundationally from God’s Word. Giving them this foundation for their thinking will allow them to see through the lies of the world [Lies like evolution!] and discern truth from error.
Great advice! And there’s more:
Don’t let them get “tossed to and fro by the ever-changing waves” of cultural pressure and opinion. And teach them how to answer the attacks of our day that are leveled at God’s Word — particularly the book of Genesis, which is foundational to all doctrine and the Christian worldview.
Parents, don’t let those filthy Darwinists get their hands on your children! And if you’re a Darwinist — well, you know what Hambo thinks of you! He sums it all up in his final paragraph:
Our evil culture, in rebellion against the Creator, is desperately trying to normalize and celebrate depravity. [It’s Darwin’s fault!] We need generations of believers who will stand boldly on the authority of God’s Word and ceaselessly proclaim the light of the gospel and the truth of God’s Word in the midst of incredible darkness.
Hambo’s right! Before Darwin and all that other godless science, there wasn’t any pedophilia, but look where we are now! Only Hambo can save us!
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