Without Creationism, All Is Lost!

We were shocked — shocked! — by what what was posted today by Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. Hambo’s latest at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry, is titled Drag Queen Story Hour: “Love Has No Age”. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

“Love has no age.” That phrase [link omitted], along with three “partying face” emojis and a photo of an individual dressed in a rainbow suit and matching umbrella, was recently tweeted from the Drag Queen Story Hour UK Twitter account [What?], according to screenshots captured before the tweet was reportedly deleted and the account locked. “Love has no age” — now what does that mean?

What is material like this doing at Hambo’s website? Let’s stay with it — for a little while — and maybe we’ll figure it out. Hambo says:

Well, considering that Drag Queen Story Hours are directed at children and encouraging them to accept others “no matter how different they are,” it would seem that the phrase means exactly what you’d think it means: pedophilia is just love and since “love wins,” we need to just accept and celebrate that “love has no age.” After all, in our world today, all that matters is “feelings” and doing whatever is right in your own eyes!

Why is Hambo writing about pedophilia? What’s going on here? If this thing doesn’t shape up soon, we’re outta here! He tells us:

We’ve been saying for some time this phenomenon would be a next step for a culture that continues to reject all aspects of Christian morality based on the absolute authority of the Word of God.

Ooooooooooooh! Now we’re starting to understand. If you don’t accept Hambo’s teachings — all of them — then you’ll inevitably engage in depravity. Yes, that’s how Hambo sees things. He continues:

The sexual revolution continues its attack on children and the family. [Gasp!] God ordained marriage, the family, and sexuality when he created one man and one woman (not two children!) and brought them together into the unique “one flesh” union of marriage.

The bible is supposed to be your marriage manual; and if it isn’t — then anything goes! Let’s read on:

Unhinged from the truth of God’s Word, we’re only going to continue to see evils like pedophilia destroy our children, our families, and our nation. [Oh no!] What’s the solution? A return to the authority of the Word of God! Parents — train your children to think foundationally from God’s Word. Giving them this foundation for their thinking will allow them to see through the lies of the world [Lies like evolution!] and discern truth from error.

Great advice! And there’s more:

Don’t let them get “tossed to and fro by the ever-changing waves” of cultural pressure and opinion. And teach them how to answer the attacks of our day that are leveled at God’s Word — particularly the book of Genesis, which is foundational to all doctrine and the Christian worldview.

Parents, don’t let those filthy Darwinists get their hands on your children! And if you’re a Darwinist — well, you know what Hambo thinks of you! He sums it all up in his final paragraph:

Our evil culture, in rebellion against the Creator, is desperately trying to normalize and celebrate depravity. [It’s Darwin’s fault!] We need generations of believers who will stand boldly on the authority of God’s Word and ceaselessly proclaim the light of the gospel and the truth of God’s Word in the midst of incredible darkness.

Hambo’s right! Before Darwin and all that other godless science, there wasn’t any pedophilia, but look where we are now! Only Hambo can save us!

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20 responses to “Without Creationism, All Is Lost!

  1. chrisANAL or otherwise, when some dimwit talks about his gawd’s love, my 1st question is LOVE??? WTF is that? What does the word mean? You would be surprised how they look dumber than a puppet, and can’t answer!

  2. Well, without creationism we would lose this great blog. That would be a great loss.

  3. So Hambo spends his days cruising Drag Queen websites? Interesting! I wonder how many brightly colored boas he owns?

  4. Our dear SC needs a slight correction:

    “The bible as interpreted by Ol’Hambo is supposed to be your marriage manual”
    Some christian polygamists have different views, particularly because of the book of Genesis.
    Btw drag queens are no pedophiles.

  5. Michael Fugate

    Given how confused Ham is about sex, I wonder how he has children.

  6. chris schilling

    Ham himself raised the ugly issue of pedophilia.

    Since it was the churches who systemically raped the kids, I think it’s only fair to point out that “Christian morality” in this particular context might be an oxymoron.

  7. Dave Luckett

    As usual, Ham misrepresents his own scripture. God did not create one man and one woman ab initio. Genesis 2 says He created the man first, THEN the animals to be his companions, and only when no suitable companion was to be found among them, a woman. That is, it would appear that sex and sexuality were not in God’s original concept at all. It was, at best, Plan B.

    Perhaps that explains why sexuality turned out so various and confusing: it was a sort of hurried fix-up, from a late beta debugging. Excusable, if it were done by a human engineer working under time pressure. Only I thought that this was supposed to be the work of omniscience?

    Whatever. If – I say IF – the slogan “love has no age” is meant to excuse paedophilia, then it is an enormity. I have to say that if it is not meant to do that, it is still rather easily twisted. Ham is among the eager twisters of it, of course, but even so.

  8. @Dave Luckett
    There are those who translate Genesis 2 differently, so that there is no conflict with Genesis 1. They rely on the difference of Hebrew grammar – Hebrew does not have tenses (present, past, etc.) but aspects (perfect, imperfect) for verbs. So that where many translations say that God “made animals after the man”, others say that “after the man, the animals had been made”. Cute.
    On the other hand, an ancient tradition interprets Genesis 1 as saying that the human created was both male and female.
    Of course, most contemporary commentators say that Genesis 1 and Genesis 2 are independent creation accounts, so it is to be expected that there are incompatibilities between them.

  9. Charley Horse X

    The imported Ham has revealed himself as the creator QAnon. Like so many Republican pols…he wants to increase his wealth by attracting the low hanging fruit. Facts and the natural sciences are their enemies.

  10. Dave Luckett

    @TomS: I’m afraid the argument from possible aspects of Hebrew verbs rather falls to the ground in the face of Genesis 2:20:

    “The man gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every wild animal, but for the man himself no suitable partner was found.” (Revised English Bible.)

    The sequence of events is thus made perfectly clear. There was no suitable partner for man among the beasts, so then God made woman. The beasts must necessarily have existed first, for it to be determined that there was no partner for man among them. If one had been found, the necessary implication is that woman would not have been created.

  11. Eddie Janssen

    I don’t understand the connection between
    1. “The man gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every wild animal” and
    2. “For the man himself no suitable partner was found.”

    Was Adam supposed to have children with a rhinoceros (or a grasshopper or a hammerhead shark)?

  12. @Dave Luckett
    I agree with you. The narrative of Genesis 2 seems to me to fit with the animals appearing after the man. Genesis 2 tells a different story than Genesis 1.

  13. Techreseller

    Jesus’ mother was 14 when Jesus was delivered. Enough said.

  14. Christian Post: “The creationist theme park Ark Encounter in northern Kentucky has launched a $3 million virtual reality experience that aims to show visitors what it would be like to travel back to see Noah’s Ark and the Genesis flood.

    “The park, owned by young earth creationist organization Answers in Genesis, officially opened its first virtual reality theatre called ‘Truth Traveler’ to the public on Monday [24 Aug] with the showing of its first virtual reality show titled ‘A Flood of Reality.’
    * * * * *
    “To experience the virtual reality show, visitors need to purchase a timed ticket for $14.99 as an extra cost on top of the park’s admission fee.
    * * * * *
    “At the end of the 11-minute virtual tour, the video shows a holographic image of Ham, who gives a Gospel presentation to the audience. [Not Ham bar Noah, but ol’ Hambo himself.]”

    Ol’ Hambo: “You see them building the ark. You fly around the ark and you actually see the floodwaters and you see the ark at the end with a rainbow.”

    “Come watch all the sinners drown! And the Nephilim (mystery survivors of the Flood), and the unicorn!”

    https://www.christianpost.com/news/ark-encounter-opens-virtual-reality-experience-taking-people-back-in-time-to-noahs-ark.html

    https://sensuouscurmudgeon.wordpress.com/2020/06/28/you-can-experience-the-reality-of-noahs-ark/

  15. How utterly disgusting and completely unsurprising. “Love Has No Age” is, needless to say, not a platform for pedophilia and is, in fact, completely in comportment with Ham’s Christian beliefs, but, well, we can no longer conveniently accuse “the gays” of pedophilia, so we’re moving on to transgender folks. I mean, your other choice is to not hate.

  16. Dave Luckett

    @Eddie Janssen: No idea, but to ask that question is to assume, as Ham assumes, that the Genesis stories are logically coherent and self-consistent narratives, when they’re not. They’re parables and allegories, where different stories aren’t meant to be consistent with the whole, but to explain different aspects of reality. This story describes the relationship between humans and the natural world, from the belief that to call something by its true name is to control it; and also explains the relationship between man and woman, as it was understood in the ancient world, as Paul used it at 1 Timothy 2:12 when explaining why women should not teach or dictate to men and should keep quiet: “For Adam was created first, and Eve afterwards”, says Paul. Yes, well.

    (This scripture confirms, incidentally, that they were not created together. Ham can put that in his Biblical pipe and smoke it.)

    The two ideas, man controlling nature and man as senior to women, are run together for economy. The logical implication would be that the man, Adam, was not originally intended to have a female partner, and that Eve was an afterthought; but that’s the point. Logical implications are not necessarily correct.

  17. Michael Fugate

    There is also the link to golem https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golem
    Eve is an afterthought as women mostly are in Christianity. It is like that piece in First Things I linked – in theory there is a commitment to universal human equality and dignity, but in practice it rarely happens. Like having laws but never enforcing them.

  18. Michael Fugate

    Based on data from Pew on belief in God and the CDC on teen pregnancies and more, the more religious a US state is the higher the teen birth rate. A best fit line looks like this…
    % teen birth = -15.13372 + 0.5421988 •%belief in god
    Trend is also positive for unwed mothers.
    Unlike Trump’s claims – it is also positive for homicides and especially by firearms and negative for health insurance. No trend for divorce, drug overdoses and suicides.

  19. And for abortion?

  20. Michael Fugate

    They have managed to close clinics in most of those states.