Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in The Pantagraph, which serves the Bloomington–Normal area in Central Illinois. The title is US has been a haven for true believers, and the newspaper has a comments feature.
Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is John. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with some bold font for emphasis and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!
We happened to be fortunate to see the Creation Museum after it was opened in 2014 near Cincinnati, Ohio, and Hebron, Kentucky.
Wowie — he visited the Creation Museum, built by Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. John was fortunate indeed! Then he says:
It was followed by the Ark Encounter, instigated by Ken Ham also, with a replica of Noah’s Ark, an articulate piece of workmanship [Articulate!] that really gives you an idea of how the original ark was built by Noah in the time that God sent the great flood that perished everything on earth except Noah and his family of eight, and of course, two of every kind of animal and bird, because of the sinfulness of all human inhabitants of the earth.
I purchased a book there called “Guide to Dinosaurs,” and it proves [Proves!] exactly how dinosaurs were created by God at the same time as mankind and all creatures before the flood, and became extinct because of their habitat, etc., after the flood.
John has learned The Truth™. His letter continues:
The fossils of mankind and dinosaurs have been found together [Ooooooooooooh! Our professors lied to us!], so scientifically and technically their age is closer to 6,000 years ago, rather than the millions of years some scientists try to claim.
Amazing. Absolutely amazing. Let’s read on:
Now here we are as poor humans bickering and fighting blindly because it is getting very close to the prophecies in the Holy Bible that are coming to pass before our very eyes.
Ooooooooooooh! The end is nigh! John’s letter finishes with this:
The United States has been a haven for true believers to help bring the gospel of Jesus around the world. [So true!] The United States could not be strong without God’s help. It never was and never will be again without love, compassion and “love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 19:19
We don’t know what you thought of it, dear reader, but that was a great letter! If you don’t agree, you’re a hell-bound fool!
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