Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Danville Register & Bee, of Danville, Virginia. The title is If evolution is a thing, why aren’t there extra arms for moms? The newspaper has a comments feature, but there aren’t any yet.
Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote her by using her full name. She says she’s a free-lance writer, but that doesn’t qualify for full name treatment. Her first name is Susan. Excerpts from her letter will be enhanced with some bold font for emphasis and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!
I’m not a biologist or anthropologist, or any kind of “ist.” I’m just a mom and grandma who believes she has disproven evolution, although life would be easier if it were true.
Susan is no “ist,” but her opinion is as good as yours, dear reader. She explains evolution to us:
For example, when frogs needed to emerge from the slime pits eons ago, they developed the arms, legs and lungs needed to survive on land. [Great example!] Then there were people and wheels and atoms were split and we all had to wear masks and socially distance. This is the brief version of the history of mankind. [We like it!] Please, no emails from biologists. I admit I know very little about this, but come with me on this journey.
We’re with you, Susan. Tell us more! She does:
So the reason I don’t believe this evolutionary theory is because if it were true, mothers would have needed, then developed, at least one set of extra arms to help them accomplish everything they do in a day. They might have even split into two mothers.
A powerful argument indeed. Then she gives us several tales from her own busy days as a mother — which we’ll skip — after which she says:
At any point, an extra set of arms would have been useful. Perhaps even an extra brain that has evolved along with the oft-frustrating technology demands made on a senior citizen. But I got nothing. [Hee hee!] Therefore, evolution is wrong.
We can’t argue with that! Then Susan tells us:
You don’t grow what you need to take care of everyone. I got two arms coming into this world, and, hopefully, I’ll go out of this world with them.
We hope so too. She ends her letter in an odd way:
I heard recently from a leader in my church that a woman wears many hats, but she doesn’t need to wear all of them at once. But sometimes she does.
Who knows — maybe evolution will give Susan several heads to wear those hats. Anyway, she makes a good argument. Don’t you agree, dear reader?
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