Probably no one in the United States is confused or undecided about the Presidential election coming up soon. But in case you are confused, we have some advice today from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.
At the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), Hambo’s creationist ministry, he recently posted Are You Republican or Democrat? Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
Sometimes I’ve had conversations while out shopping where a store employee asks if I’m Republican or Democrat. My answer? I tell them I’m a Christian, and as a Christian, I build my worldview on the Bible. Then I explain that I will use the Bible as my absolute authority and judge politicians’ beliefs and promises accordingly. This will direct the way I vote.
Hambo is so wise! Then he says:
I’ve had Christians tell me that they grew up in a home where their parents always voted Democrat or Republican, and so they also will always vote for that party. But shouldn’t we as Christians instead judge the worldview of each candidate against the absolute authority of God’s Word? We should then use this to determine who is the best candidate for whom to cast my vote.
What is Hambo saying — we should vote for the candidate who believes in Noah’s Ark? Has he ever heard of the US Constitution? Skipping a couple of paragraphs of scripture, he tells us:
It seems to me, when it comes to politics, many people express their opinions about candidates’ personalities, how they say things, and so on. But as Christians, we do have an absolute standard by which we are to judge, and we should use that same standard to judge others regarding what they believe and say. Yet it is a fallen world, so everything will not be black and white. So we must judge based on the absolute authority of God’s Word. This way we can be much more discerning in deciding who gets our vote.
No doubt about it — Hambo really does want a candidate who believes the same stuff he preaches. His political advice continues:
I consider these things to be very important in guiding my voting: freedom for Christians to witness, preach God’s Word, and freely exercise their faith [No candidate opposes those things!]; the need to put an end to abortion [That’s an issue in this year’s Presidential election?]; and stances on other moral issues. Our responsibility is to research each political candidate, judge their worldview against God’s Word, and pray earnestly for the sovereign God to guide us to the decision we need.
It’s becoming rather clear what kind of candidate Hambo wants. Fortunately, the Constitution pretty much keeps his concerns from being national political issues. Well, there’s the 1973 Supreme Court case of Roe v. Wade, but neither candidate is talking about that. (If they are, we’re unaware of it.) Let’s read on:
You can find certain voters’ guides to help you know what each candidate believes and where they stand on various issues at the following websites: [two links omitted]. This pdf from the National Right to Life Committee [link omitted] compares the two primary presidential candidates’ views regarding abortion and the right to life.
Hambo is amazing — he thinks US Presidential elections are all about abortion. And now we come to the end:
So as you vote, don’t be a Republican or Democrat — be a Christian and vote for the best imperfect person who stands a good opportunity of getting elected. Then pray that they will pass policies that don’t hinder the spread of the gospel and will help save babies!
Okay, dear reader. That’s Hambo’s advice. Your Curmudgeon’s political views are known, so we won’t bother telling you what we think about the election. You don’t need our advice, and we don’t think you need Hambo’s either — but that’s your decision.
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