Robertson: Trump Will Win & the World Will End

Everyone knows who Pat Robertson is. According to Wikipedia, he’s:

… an American media mogul, televangelist, political commentator, former Republican presidential candidate, and former Southern Baptist minister. Robertson advocates a conservative Christian ideology and is known for his past activities in Republican party politics. He is associated with the Charismatic Movement within Protestant evangelicalism. He serves as chancellor and CEO of Regent University and chairman of the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN). He appears daily on The 700 Club, CBN’s flagship television program.

Look what we found today in the Daily Express, a British tabloid. Their stunning headline is Donald Trump will win US election ‘without question’ evangelist claims in message from God. Ooooooooooooh! Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

The race to the White House is in full swing as the incumbent President Donald Trump battles uncertain poll figures and Democrat rival Joe Biden. On Thursday, poll aggregator ThirtyFiveEight showed an overall trend favouring Mr Biden, giving him a narrow lead in the majority of recent surveys. A YouGov poll published on October 20, for instance, shows President Trump trailing nine points behind his rival.

We know that stuff. Then they say:

But all of this could still change in the final round of voting on November 3, as was the case in the 2016 election showdown which predicted Mr Trump would lose to Hillary Clinton. And if one TV evangelist’s claims are to be believed, the election results may have already been predetermined by a higher power. [Gasp!] Televangelist Pat Robertson, 90, has announced this week a supposed message from God, backing President Trump for another term in office.

Amazing! After that incredible news the tabloid tells us:

Mr Robertson broadcast his bizarre claims on Tuesday during the religious programme The 700 Club, saying President Trump will win “without question” [Hooray!] and a series of events that will unfold immediately after could lead to the end of the world.

Egad — the end of the world? The tabloid continues:

He went on to claim a period of violence will rock the US in the aftermath of the election [We have that now!], followed by five years of peace. Even more bizarrely, he claimed a cataclysmic event, such as an asteroid strike, could then potentially end the world as we know it. [Oh no!]

Frightening stuff! Let’s read on (and the ellipsis is in the original):

The preacher said: “What I think frankly is the only thing that will fulfil the word of Jesus… is some kind of asteroid strike on the globe. “It’s sudden destruction. It’s not going to be some nuclear war. “We’re not going to be allowed to blow this Earth up.”

Egad, the end is nigh! But then the tabloid tries to refute Robertson’s predictions: They say:

However, none of the preacher’s outrageous claims measure up to what the polling figures suggest or what scientists have to say about our planet’s safety. Firstly, President Trump is trailing behind in the polls, according to the latest predictions. And there is no asteroid or comet, or any other danger from space that threatens our planet. According to the US space agency NASA, there is no asteroid that could hit our planet in the next 100 years.

What do those fools know compared to Robertson? The tabloid article ends with yet another attempted rebuttal:

Mr Robertson is also no stranger to doomsday prophecies as he has claimed in the past the world would end in 1982, after which he revised his predictions and claimed the world would end in 2007. However, these predictions have not come to pass.

Don’t take any chances, dear reader. Start your preparations now. If you delay and mindlessly enjoy the Trump victory, THE END will find you when you least expect it — and you know what that means.

Copyright © 2020. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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19 responses to “Robertson: Trump Will Win & the World Will End

  1. Derek Freyberg

    Maybe Pat Robertson is going for the Harold Camping Memorial Award for failed predictions of the end of the world.

  2. Not a prediction, but a predeliction from elsewhere in the world:

    US 2020 election: Who does China really want to win?

    Chinese leaders may have a growing feeling that US democracy has passed its sell-by-date but if they had to express a choice, might they too be glad to see the back of Donald Trump?

    That’s certainly the assessment of the US intelligence community that has concluded that Mr Trump’s unpredictability, and his harsh criticisms of Beijing, mean the Communist Party leadership would prefer him to lose.

    But Professor Yan Xuetong, dean of the Institute of International Relations at Beijing’s Tsinghua University, disagrees.

    “If you ask me about where China’s interests lie,” he says, “the preference would be for Trump rather than Biden”.

    “Not because Trump will do less damage to China’s interests than Biden, but because he definitely will damage the US more than Biden.”

  3. I am glad that they add, after telling us about previous predictions of The End, “However, these predictions have not come to pass.”
    We can count on The Express. I was worrying for a moment, but if The Expess says that the world has not ended, we can be assured.

  4. @Megalonyx I suspect China would much rather have Biden. Witless and unwinnable trade wars hurt everyone, and are disruptive and wasteful. Why would China want bad things to happen to their best customer?

  5. Michael Fugate

    Does it matter? The trade deficit with China has steadily risen and Trump for all his rhetoric has had no noticeable effect.

  6. @Troy: China has a long term strategy on its way to world domination. Bad things happening to the USA fits perfectly well. The effects on China of these bad things are only temporary, ie belong to the short term.

    @MichaelF: Donald the Clown is the perfect president for a superpower in decline, like Valentinianus III when killing Flavius Aetius, Romanus IV Diogenes when starting the Battle of Manzikert, emperors Wilhelm III, Franz Joseph Karl and Nikolai II Aleksandrovitsj giving permission for WW I. Oh and of course PM Anthony Eden when starting the Suez Crisis, a humiliation far worse than the Raid on the Medway almost 3 centuries before.
    The big advantage of Donald the Clown is that he’s likely too incompetent to start a war. I’m not so sure about JoeB.
    At the other hand JoeB at the moment is the best chance for avoiding a restart of the Troubles; also he announced that the USA will join the WHO again under his leadership.

  7. Michael Fugate

    FrankB, like every other Democratic candidate in my lifetime – Biden is not very exciting. I don’t see much hope of going forward in the US two party system, but see lots of opportunity of going backward. There is no chance of progress with Trump and especially in a 2nd term. The US has abandoned all science – whether it be public health, environment, sociology, economics, – you name it.

  8. chris schilling

    I predict everyone who posts at this blog — brace yourselves, now — will be dead in a hundred years time. That’s my prediction.

    I also predicted Old Man Noah wouldn’t make 900. Boy, was I wrong!

  9. Michael Fugate

    Pat is in good company; Jesus predicted the world would end about 1900 years ago. We know how that turned out. Must be some static in the revelation transmission network – maybe it wasn’t intelligently designed?

  10. chris schilling

    As Pilate said to Jesus in The Gospel According to Cool Hand Luke:

    “Uh, whut we’ve got hey-ya is…fail-ya ta communicate.”

  11. Be nice to the Daily Express, people. Megalonyx would probably include it among the scum and filth of the UK right-wing tabloid “journalism”, people without shame or morals who’d support even Brexit, but in this case it did blow Pat Robertson a loud raspberry.

  12. Dave Luckett

    Oh, and one other thing: if The Express is reporting this correctly (always a caveat), Robertson is claiming that God speaks to him, and that he relays God’s words as spoken to him. Robertson is not interpreting God’s word in scripture, or enunciating doctrine for the Church or any such thing. No, no. Pat Robertson is claiming that God speaks to him, with new revelation that he must give to the people.

    Thus, Robertson is necessarily claiming the mantle of prophecy. He is claiming to be a prophet, a messenger of God, spoken to by God directly. If that claim is false, Deuteronomy 18:20-22 would apply. In fact, it would seem already to apply, since he has already made false prophecies. “Bible believers” have a clear direction from scripture, then.

    I hope all here would believe me when I say that I hope nobody believes the Bible to that extent – for Pat Robertson’s sake.

  13. @ Dave Luckett: I don’t think you are quite appreciating the astounding genius of the British tabloids—which really do need the scare quotes around “journalism” unless that characterisation is preceded by the attribute, yellow. They are, of course, not newspapers, but comic books for intellectually-challenged adults.

    But more to the point, your note that the Express

    did blow Pat Robertson a loud raspberry

    We need to distinguish two evergreen and related but distinct tropes within the tabloids, for the case in hand here differs from the previous instance, on the Absolute Proof of Aliens on Mars! thread. In that earlier case, you thought that the Express was reporting Scott C. Waring’s claims “with the greatest possible skepticism”–that is, I take it, another presumed instance of “blowing a raspberry”.

    But there is a bit more to it, methinks. If you go to the source of the ‘story’, on Waring’s website, UFO Sightings Daily, you will find a header banner featuring the logos of a wide range of journals, and below that a box reading:

    For News Media And TV Shows.
    If you are in the world news or media and want to use the information on this site, that is ok. I give you full permission to use all photos, videos and info I wrote on this site. Full access granted. All I ask is that you mention my site name and my name, Scott C. Waring. Same goes for my Youtube channel ET DATA BASE.
    Thanks,
    Scott C. Waring -Taiwan
    ET DATA BASE and UFO Sightings Daily

    And this is followed by a tsunami of similar stories about extra-terrestrials—and an appeal to subscribe to his Youtube channel

    Is Waring a kook, or a fraud, or maybe a bit of both? Whatever else, he most certainly is publicity-hungry and will have been delighted by the item in the Express: there’s no such thing as a bad raspberry. So is this a case of diligent ‘journalists’ digging out a story about a fraudster, or another bit of effortless symbiosis between two parties of entertainment hucksters? The “greatest possible scepticism” of the report enables the rag to have its cake and eat it to, for the story will entertain readers who would give credence to such tales and also those readers who will delight in feeling intellectually superior to such fraudsters. It’s win/win for circulation, just like the Sun’s celebrated Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster tale, a money-spinning collaboration between publicist Max Clifford (who would later die in prison) and Rupert Murdoch (who should be in prison).

    The Pat Robertson story in this present instance is a slightly different trope: the perennially popular Aren’t Foreigners Wacky! theme. But the end result is pretty much the same.

    For further illustration, consider the urban legend about The Hartlepool Monkey. The tale, for those that may not know it, is that during the Napoleonic Wars, a French warship sank off the coast of Hartlepool with the loss of all hands—except the ship’s mascot, a monkey. The surviving monkey was washed ashore and found by the benighted Hartlepuddlians who, never having seen either, assumed the monkey was Frenchman and promptly hanged it as a French spy. Although almost certainly apocryphal, the tale appears to have gained currency because of its popularity among the snootier inhabitants of upmarket West Hartlepool, who thought it a credible indictment of their lower-class neighbours of Old Hartlepool.

    But to this day, “Monkey Hanger” remains a sobriquet for Hartlepuddlians.
    I resist temptation to pursue Brexit in this context on this thread, as a mercy to other readers. So I will note only in passing that so many of the myths about the EU originated from the pen of a then-young “journalist” by the name of Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson…

  14. @Michael Fugate:

    “The trade deficit with China has steadily risen and Trump for all his rhetoric has had no noticeable effect.”

    Sorry — wrong.

    The annual US trade deficit with China in CY 2019 (-$345,204.2 M) was less than the trade deficit in CY 2016, Obama’s last year (-$346,825.2 M).

    The cumulative CY 2020 US trade deficit with China thru August (-$193,117.3 M) projects to an annual trade deficit of -$289,675.9.

    https://www.census.gov/foreign-trade/balance/c5700.html

  15. @Michael Fugate:

    “FrankB, like every other Democratic candidate in my lifetime – Biden is not very exciting.”

    Not sure how far back your lifetime extends so I’ll use mine as a yardstick.

    Here are a few Democratic presidential candidates that I and many others found quite exciting in the recent past:

    1960 JFK (young, energetic and handsome debater)
    1976 Jimmy Carter (post-Watergate White Knight)
    1992 Bill Clinton (first baby boomer candidate “plays it cool” on Arsenio and MTV)
    2008 Barack Obama (c’mon, man — si, se puede!)

    I guess not you, though.

  16. Michael Fugate

    Random, such an idiot. Is it significant? And how does it compare to the past.?

  17. Michael Fugate

    Bill Clinton’s was a conservative. Obama couldn’t bother to support LGBTQ+. Nope. Not excited.

  18. @Michael Fugate:

    “The US has abandoned all science – whether it be public health, environment, sociology, economics, – you name it.”

    Yeah, right.

    Joe (“We need a president who believes in science”) Biden has “abandoned all science.”

    Scientific America, Nature, The Lancet and NEJM think maybe you’re the idiot.

    🙄🙄🙄

    https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-020-02786-4

    PS: A “conservative” Clinton after 12 years of trickle-down Reaganomics and Republican racist dog whistling was pretty damned exciting at the time.

    PPS: MF: “Is it significant?”

    I dunno — you brought it up. Maybe not, since you first carelessly passed along false info, and now still don’t care.

    The projected CY 2020 US-China trade deficit will be 83.5% of CY 2016’s.

    Tell me, is that a “significant” reduction?