Everyone knows who Pat Robertson is. According to Wikipedia, he’s:
… an American media mogul, televangelist, political commentator, former Republican presidential candidate, and former Southern Baptist minister. Robertson advocates a conservative Christian ideology and is known for his past activities in Republican party politics. He is associated with the Charismatic Movement within Protestant evangelicalism. He serves as chancellor and CEO of Regent University and chairman of the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN). He appears daily on The 700 Club, CBN’s flagship television program.
Look what we found today in the Daily Express, a British tabloid. Their stunning headline is Donald Trump will win US election ‘without question’ evangelist claims in message from God. Ooooooooooooh! Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
The race to the White House is in full swing as the incumbent President Donald Trump battles uncertain poll figures and Democrat rival Joe Biden. On Thursday, poll aggregator ThirtyFiveEight showed an overall trend favouring Mr Biden, giving him a narrow lead in the majority of recent surveys. A YouGov poll published on October 20, for instance, shows President Trump trailing nine points behind his rival.
We know that stuff. Then they say:
But all of this could still change in the final round of voting on November 3, as was the case in the 2016 election showdown which predicted Mr Trump would lose to Hillary Clinton. And if one TV evangelist’s claims are to be believed, the election results may have already been predetermined by a higher power. [Gasp!] Televangelist Pat Robertson, 90, has announced this week a supposed message from God, backing President Trump for another term in office.
Amazing! After that incredible news the tabloid tells us:
Mr Robertson broadcast his bizarre claims on Tuesday during the religious programme The 700 Club, saying President Trump will win “without question” [Hooray!] and a series of events that will unfold immediately after could lead to the end of the world.
Egad — the end of the world? The tabloid continues:
He went on to claim a period of violence will rock the US in the aftermath of the election [We have that now!], followed by five years of peace. Even more bizarrely, he claimed a cataclysmic event, such as an asteroid strike, could then potentially end the world as we know it. [Oh no!]
Frightening stuff! Let’s read on (and the ellipsis is in the original):
The preacher said: “What I think frankly is the only thing that will fulfil the word of Jesus… is some kind of asteroid strike on the globe. “It’s sudden destruction. It’s not going to be some nuclear war. “We’re not going to be allowed to blow this Earth up.”
Egad, the end is nigh! But then the tabloid tries to refute Robertson’s predictions: They say:
However, none of the preacher’s outrageous claims measure up to what the polling figures suggest or what scientists have to say about our planet’s safety. Firstly, President Trump is trailing behind in the polls, according to the latest predictions. And there is no asteroid or comet, or any other danger from space that threatens our planet. According to the US space agency NASA, there is no asteroid that could hit our planet in the next 100 years.
What do those fools know compared to Robertson? The tabloid article ends with yet another attempted rebuttal:
Mr Robertson is also no stranger to doomsday prophecies as he has claimed in the past the world would end in 1982, after which he revised his predictions and claimed the world would end in 2007. However, these predictions have not come to pass.
Don’t take any chances, dear reader. Start your preparations now. If you delay and mindlessly enjoy the Trump victory, THE END will find you when you least expect it — and you know what that means.
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