The Monolith and the Intelligent Designer

Because this is probably the worst news day ever, we shall post about the Utah monolith. Yes, Wikipedia has an article on it. They say:

The Utah monolith was a metallic pillar made by an unknown person(s) that stood in a red sandstone slot canyon in southeastern Utah. The 10-foot (3 m) tall structure was made of stainless steel or aluminium sheets riveted together into the shape of a triangular prism, with a hollow interior. It was unlawfully placed on public land between August 2015 and October 2016. In November 2020, state biologists discovered the pillar. Govermnent officials withheld its location to prevent people from becoming lost trying to find it, but within hours of their announcement, some people found it on Google Earth and began visiting the site. Following worldwide media coverage of the monolith’s discovery, it was removed by an unknown party days later.

We were hoping for some really crazy stuff from the usual creationist websites we visit, but so far they haven’t mentioned the thing. Instead, all we can find is wild tabloid stuff and newspaper articles like this one in the New York Daily News: Mysterious desert monolith vanishes overnight. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

A 2020 space oddity just got a little more odd. [Is that possible?] A roughly 12-foot tall, shiny monolith that mysteriously appeared in a Utah desert a couple weeks ago has just as inexplicably disappeared.

The intelligent designer moves in mysterious ways. Then the news article says:

“The BLM [What?] did not remove the structure, which is considered private property,” the Bureau of Land Management said in a statement. “The structure has received international and national attention and we received reports that a person or group removed it on the evening of 27 Nov.”

How mysterious! After that they add a necessary, but unavoidably humorous touch:

The Bureau of Land Management’s initials, BLM, caused some social media users to wonder how the Black Lives Matter movement was somehow tied to the whole thing. (It’s a coincidence.)

Your Curmudgeon thinks the mysterious monolith is connected to the Time Cube, but so far we don’t have any evidence to support that theory. We’re working on it, and when we have something you’ll be the first to know.

Anyway, since the creationists have all failed us in the situation, it’s up to you to explain the monolith without their help — if you have the courage.

Copyright © 2020. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

16 responses to “The Monolith and the Intelligent Designer

  1. Charley Horse X

    A not so riveting tale of a riveted display.

  2. Charley Horse X

    It will never have the success that crop circles had.

  3. In anticipation that the argument be made that we know that this object is intellently designed:
    The argument is also made that also the flora and fauna of this area, the scrub brush and longhorn sheep, are also intelligently designed. That is, telling us that this object is intelligently designed does not distinguish it from things which naturally grow there.
    Moreover, to say that its non-existence is also intelligently designed – that shows how little “intelligently designed” says. Either existing or non existing, both are intelligently designed. Rather as there are no kangaroos or penguins there, no living trilobites or dodos anywhere today, all of that is all due to intelligent design.

  4. BTW, the web page of the sheriff of Sa Juan county, Utah – that is where it
    was – has a comment about it.


    It mysteriously appeared in the Fall of 2016 and just as mysterious was removed in November of 2020. Questions of legality abound. Its arrogance of angularity in juxtaposition to the natural landscape it stood proud of its jarring abnormality. Apparently hollow inside it was constructed cheaply to offer an impressive façade with no real substance. Although it was described as a Monolith it now appears it was empty inside. Attempts to stick something on it have failed. Now only deep cuts in the beautiful natural landscape remain. Remind anyone of something?

  6. Michael Fugate

    Paley’s ghost?

  7. Robert van Bakel

    I’m reminded of the Simpsons episode where the prologue has the scene from “2001” with the monkeys dancing around the obelisk and the Homer faced monkey leaning against it, snoozing in its shadow, and then tilting it.

  8. Wouldn’t it have been a wizard wheeze if they’d set up some kind of boom box inside the thing, so it played “Also Sprach Zarathustra”, really loud, when someone tripped a hidden pressure plate?

  9. Meh, that monolith doesn’t interest me. So let me see what, that nice Dutch YEC outfit, has produced last few weeks.

    “Al lang gaat het verhaal dat er miljoenen jaren nodig zijn om fossiele olie te kunnen vormen vanuit algen, planten en ander begraven organisch materiaal.”
    “Since a long time the story has been told that millions of years are needed to form fossile oil from algae, plants and other buried organic material.”
    That’s foolish; American scientists have found a way to do it in a couple of hours, at a temperature of 350 °C and under a pressure of more than 300 bar. That’s peanuts for YHWH, obviously.

    Plate tectonics result from a catastrophe (no points for guessing which one that could be).

    I like this one:

    Short version: the chromosomes of chimps and humans have so much in common that it backs evolution theory.

    “Creationisten moeten hier dus nog heel wat onderzoek
    naar doen.”
    “Creationists still have a lot of research to do.”

  10. The Wikipedia article on “Utah monolith” reports on a similar object of unknown origin in Romania.

  11. Well, that was brief. It’s gone.

    That’s why we can’t have nice things.

  12. According to Wikipedia, the thing in Romania has also disappeared.

  13. Wikipedia has a follow-up on a claim to describe the removal, referencing the New York Times. It seems to be that some people considered it trash which didn’t belong there.

  14. A copycat “monolith” has appeared on Pine Mountain, San Luis Obispo County, California. No notice taken of it yet in Wikipedia.

  15. And at Four Seasons Total Landscaping in Philadelphia.