Big Surprise: Hambo Is Asking for Money Again

The current status of creatinoism — despite the bravado one encounters at their websites — appears to be desperate. A good example of this can be found at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG). As you know, that’s the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

Hambo just posted 2020 Vision — A Reminder of God’s Faithfulness. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

No one needs reminding that this year has been a difficult one — but we do need reminding that 2020 has been a year when God has been faithful! Nothing in 2020 — not the threat of another war, coronavirus and ever-changing government mandates, riots and violence, a contentious election, raging wildfires in Australia, California, and other USA states, nor the events in your own life that never made the headlines — none of this took God by surprise.

Of course Yahweh wasn’t surprised — he never is. All those ghastly things Hambo mentioned were part of the big plan. Then he says:

We certainly didn’t expect 2020 to go this way; at the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum, we were gearing up for our busiest year yet.

Alas for Hambo, things didn’t go the way he expected. He tells us:

But, in his sovereignty, God had other plans, and in the midst of shutdowns, layoffs, and depleted funds, we’ve seen God work in miraculous ways — and one of those ways is through you!

When Hambo says “you,” is he talking about your Curmudgeon? Let’s find out. He continues:

God’s people have been incredibly generous during this time. God has used you to supply our daily needs.

Okay, he’s definitely not talking about us. But what is he talking about? Let’s read on:

And you’ve been so generous that, as we inch towards reaching our $3.5 million gift matching goal, the Answers in Genesis ministry will be sustained through the slow winter months and moving forward with projects, such as the Borderland exhibit coming to the Creation Museum, releasing Answers Bible Curriculum for homeschoolers, and a new Vacation Bible School program (Answers VBS) for 2022.

Lot’s of links were omitted from that paragraph. Here’s another excerpt:

Thank you for your generosity. And as today is Giving Tuesday [What?] — a day recognized by many as the beginning of the end-of-year giving season to ministries and churches — would you consider a gift towards our $7 million goal?

Sorry, Hambo. We have other plans. And now we come to the end:

Every gift continues to help us move forward and accomplish what we believe God has called us to do. You can make a gift today at [Link omitted!] From all of us at AiG — thank you!

Well, dear reader, you gonna help Hambo meet his divinely ordained financial goals? You should, because it might help to keep you out of the Lake of Fire.

Copyright © 2020. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

7 responses to “Big Surprise: Hambo Is Asking for Money Again

  1. “but we do need reminding that 2020 has been a year when God has been faithful!” I have never figured out exactly what the H that means – realiable and trustworthy to whom? And Hambone gets to decide exactly how his god has been faithful – oh ya – by folks handing over their dosh to keep Hambo livin’ the dream. Not unlike folks of modest means turning over $15 million thus far to a feckless billionaire.

  2. Giving Tuesday
    It is all explained in Wikipedia.

  3. It is to be hoped that Ham is facing financial ruin, of course. I hope yet to see the chainlink fencing with the “Keep Out” signs go up around his monumental lie, while the demolition teams salvage timber. But Ham himself will be safe, of that I am certain. He’ll be far, far away, explaining that the Lord works in mysterious ways and importuning the faithful to fund his next project. And they will, the idiots.

    There has to be a reason why bounders, fraudsters, con-men and scam artists still flourish even after their scam has been pulled. Look at Hovind. Ten years in jail for tax fraud, and he’s still in business. Look at Sylvia Browne, blown sky-high by Randi and still charging $700 for a phone call until she died, when the family business was taken over by her son, who prospers peddling the same schtick. Look at Jim Bakker, if you can stand to.

    Thus the Lord shows his faithfulness to His own, or so one is told – by them. The only explanation I have is that the Lord has a sense of humour – or perhaps He just prefers that fools be parted from their money before they do worse with it than lose it in the intellectual equivalent of a pea-and-thimble game.

    I’m absolutely certain that Ham has his spare take – sorry, his personal emoulements – stashed in a well-chosen investment portfolio, where it might actually be productive. He sure hasn’t given it to the poor. But investing it is better than what the morons he’s milked it from would do with it.

    And the Ark Park? What I said. The sooner the receivers are called in, the better.

  4. Robert van Bakel

    Hitch had the answer, as did many many thinkers prior to him. It is manifestly simple: In a changeable world over which people have no control over these changes, they look for some solidity, concreteness.
    In Africa where people are buffeted by utterly worthless government (the same can be said for the Middle East, and South East Asia, and increasingly Eastern Europe and Russia), religion is growing stronger. And has been noted before, certain parts of the US resemble these enclaves of fine leadership i.e. ‘the “fly over” states’.
    Am I ridiculing these areas of the US, and these parts of the world? No! I’m lamenting a situation we have brought upon ourselves; inequality, lack of communication, lack of cooperation, utterly inhuman education-relying on quacks and the religious, and general human stupidity.
    I have given up caring, and now just watch.
    We could be good, but religion just gets in the way! Or has Hitchens says, “Poisons Everything!”

  5. Rory Gallagher had 2020 vision too.

    I prefer his.

  6. @Robert van B: the Hitch produced some more stupidities.

  7. @Dave Luckett You bring up an interesting phenomena, you can’t keep a good grifter down. Grifting is an innate talent, and there is a sucker born every minute. Lay low for a while, wait for people to forget, then have a comeback. The subtle personal skill set is all it takes, and it isn’t a universal skill.