All Your Questions Are Answered by Hambo

Tomorrow is the anniversary of a nightmarish event — at least in the opinion of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

At the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry, ol’ Hambo posted Get Answers for Darwin on This 150th Anniversary. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

Tomorrow is an anniversary. What happened on February 24, 150 years ago? Charles Darwin published The Descent of Man, arguing for the common descent of man from an ape-like ancestor [Gasp!] and our supposed relation to the great apes.

A horrible book indeed! Hambo says:

Sadly, this unbiblical and non-scientific idea was adopted by many scientists, laypeople, and even Christians at that time . . . and that continues today. But Darwin’s ideas were wrong then and they’re wrong today!

Aren’t you glad we have Hambo to keep our thinking straight? He tells us:

We’ve posted several articles over the last few weeks regarding Darwin and his unbiblical, unscientific ideas and the legacy of racism and death that they’ve left. I encourage you to check these out and equip yourself to defend the truth of God’s Word when it says he created Adam from dust and Eve from his side, both fully formed and functioning, and that we’re all one race and “one blood” (Acts 17:26):

After a list of several creationist articles at his website, Hambo continues:

If you’d like to dive even deeper into Darwinian evolution, what Darwin believed, and how wrong he really was, find these resources in our online store:

He list and links to several “resources.” Let’s take a look at one of those, titled Charles Darwin Pocket Guide. It’s 96 pages long and costs only $5.99. Best of all, it’s published by AIG, so you know it’s good. The thing — it’s some kind of book — is described like this:

Here are well-researched, down-to-earth answers to questions about Darwin’s life and legacy. How did he come to believe in evolution? Has evolution been proven true? This guide will show you why you can’t just add evolution to the Bible.

• What ideas influenced Charles Darwin?

• Did his daughter’s death turn him from Christianity?

• Was Darwin a real scientist?

• What is the connection between Darwin and racism?

These and other questions are answered in this Pocket Guide to Charles Darwin.

Sounds good, huh? Hambo’s post mentions several others too, so we know you’ll click over there to check them all out. Meanwhile, let’s return to Hambo for a little bit more:

Darwin’s ideas are destructive to our churches, our societies, and our families [Egad!], and yet they continue to permeate the world. Equip yourself to believe and defend the Bible with these resources, and I encourage you to share them with others.

Well, dear reader, what are you waiting for. Get on over to Hambo’s website and load up on those great books he’s offering. It’s time you stopped being a Darwinist fool and became a creationist.

Copyright © 2021. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

13 responses to “All Your Questions Are Answered by Hambo

  1. Typical AIG approach… ad hominem. Play the man and not the ball.

  2. Ham is on the shill, as usual. He’s plugging his overpriced junk because it profits him. What else is new?

    Yeah, I know I keep saying this, but if this is a “ministry”, then Jesus really needed a course in marketing and management. Obviously his business model was faulty – the guy never made any money. Healing the sick, feeding the hungry, telling people they have to help the poor… where’s the return? Great man, don’t get me wrong, Son of God, all that, but not a negotiator, amIright?

    OK, even in the series of fun house mirrors that make up the mind of Ken Ham, that thought would never surface. But “ministry”? Oh, c’mon! Does he kid even himself? Surely nobody who thinks about it even for a moment can swallow that. So why is he never called on it?

    Or at least, I don’t think he has been. I’ve looked. Maybe my google-fu is not what it should be, but I can’t find anybody pointing out that Ham’s enterprises are “ministries” like I’m the Emperor of Mexico. He’s flogging tat for a profit. That’s it. That’s all of it.

    “My house shall be called the house of prayer; but you have made it a den of thieves.” This to the proprietors of legitimate businesses, catering for a need – and a man’s entitled to a reasonable profit, isn’t he? If the labourer is worthy of his hire, the merchant is worthy of a percentage. What’s the problem with that?

    But Jesus had a problem with it. I think he would have had a problem with Ken Ham, too. More of a problem, even, than he had with the sacrifice sellers and money-changers in the Temple. At least they weren’t pretending to carry on a “ministry”.

  3. chris schilling

    Here’s my pocket guide to the Bible.

    • God creates everything.

    • Things soon go wrong, so God commits genocide to start all over again.

    • The Israelites do a lot of kvetching. God still forgives them, reluctantly so sometimes.

    • God has a son.

    • Things soon go wrong again, but it’s all part of the plan (sin; salvation; etc).

    • Saul falls off a horse, changes his name, founds Christianity.

    • John of Patmos has schizophrenic visions, which some people take literally.

    • The End.

    (Hope Ken likes it).

  4. Of course Darwin wasn’t a real scientist. He totally failed to reproduce in his laboratory the processes of uplift that he claims led to the formation of the Andes. And he never ever demonstrated in real time the evolution of a human from a nonhuman ancestor.

    It is widely suspected that he failed to realise that the death of his daughter was the result of Adam and Eve’s sin in the garden, and he actually went on record to denounce as “a damnable doctrine” the pure and simple fact that those who reject Jesus will burn in hell.

    Yet he retains an enormous following! There is only one possible explanation for this; Satan.

  5. As far as being recognized as a real
    scientist, he was a member of the Royal
    Society and was awarded the Copley Medal.

  6. Do you really think, TomS, that they knew better than Ol’Hambo?!

  7. @TomS, the inference is clear. The Royal Society is Satanic

  8. Ooooh and Hambo allows you to see the table of contents. Of course you can just search AIG and find the “chapter” of the same name. Pretty sneaky Hambo…

    Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
    Timeline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
    Darwin’s Personal Struggle with Evil . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
    by Roger W. Sanders
    Darwin—Unwittingly a “Creationist” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
    by Jason Lisle
    Is Natural Selection the Same Thing as Evolution? . . . . . . . . . . 25
    by Dr. Georgia Purdom
    Did Humans Really Evolve from Ape-like Creatures? . . . . . . . . . . 39
    by David Menton
    Hasn’t Evolution Been Proven True? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
    by A. J. Monty White
    The Ghost of Darwin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69
    by Ken Ham
    Darwin’s Plantation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77
    by Ken Ham
    The Good News . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93

  9. @Paul Baterman: Are you sure it was Satan alone, or did the ghost of Hugo Chavez, recently accused of all sorts of evil with voting machines, help too?

  10. Forget about softies like Satan and Chavez. The Royal Society consists of cryptoworshippers of Apep.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apep

  11. Hambone has it real easy when answering questions as the answers are nothing but lies he makes up and keeps saying them until the intelligent people give up and leave.

  12. @L.Long, You give him more credit than he is due. I don’t think he makes anything up at all these days; I think he just plagiarises, shreds, and recycles

  13. @chris schilling There really should be a Bible book called “Kvetching”. Maybe even a two or three parter.