Creationist Wisdom #1,073: Ultimate Proof

Today’s letter-to-the-editor — it’s a column, actually — appears in the Summit Daily News of Frisco, Colorado. The column is titled Walking Our Faith: Proof of God, and the newspaper doesn’t have a comments feature.

Unless the letter-writer is a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote her by using her full name — but today we have an exception. The author is Suzanne Elizabeth Anderson, described at the end as the author of 10 novels and nonfiction books on faith, and her column appears every Saturday in the Summit Daily News. She certainly qualifies for full name treatment. We’ll give you some excerpts from her column, some bold font for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Okay, here we go:

I discovered proof of God [Gasp!] on Wednesday afternoon in the tree branch shadows cast across the snow and frozen stream where I had stopped on the side of the road to let Kiki catch her breath and Bear investigate the smells of other animals. Kiki and Bear are my elderly adopted Newfoundland dogs. Our walks meander.

Wowie! That just might be the most stunning opening paragraph we’ve ever seen. After that she says:

My Lenten journey is only a few weeks old, but already my days have been filled with prayers of all sorts, communal and private. Rosaries recited, scriptures pondered, psalms prayed aloud and centering prayer in silence. Prayers said in the dark as I drift off to sleep and said again at 6 a.m. as the light begins to create an outline of mountain peaks outside my window.

Okay, okay! We’re convinced that Suzie had an amazing experience. But what was it? She tells us:

I’ve been thinking how grateful I am for this Lenten journey, which focuses my attention on what I believe and why I believe and calls me to follow its path into the woods not certain of where it will lead but only of how much more I must learn.

What happened? She continues:

But there it was on the snow-covered ground among the shadows cast by brambles and a frozen stream, which in this warm snap might struggle to wake from its winter slumber only to be buried by the return of winter. In this confluence of seasons and nature and light and shadow, there was God.

What? She saw Yahweh? Let’s read on:

There was the most compelling proof for God’s existence. Not only for God’s existence, but for the very reason why we are compelled to pray. What I saw in that little winter nook was beauty.

Come on, Suzie — you can do better than that! Okay, here’s more:

We can argue all day long about figurative and literal creation stories and theories of evolution and life on other planets and whether all this scientific knowledge confirms or just disproves the existence of God. But I don’t need scientific proof or the measurement of the speed of sound and light when I have silence and light among the shadows of a winter afternoon.

We’re starting to suspect that she’s not going to give us anything else. Maybe we’re wrong. Here’s one last excerpt:

There will be philosophers who construct logic equations to express my thoughts with greater erudition, poets who form my words with greater eloquence, artists who paint the interplay of light and shadow with greater delicacy. But sophistication is not required of my soul to recognize its creator.

All right, all right — that’s enough! We’re outta here!

Copyright © 2021. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

7 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #1,073: Ultimate Proof

  1. Ken Phelps

    “There will be philosophers who construct logic equations to express my thoughts…poets who…artists who…”
    Mmmmm…I’m gonna say no, no there won’t be.
    “But sophistication is not required…”
    And a darn good thing.

  2. chris schilling

    Boy, Suzie is one devout lady.

    It’s nice she can wax so poetic before the wonders of nature, and attribute this sense of awe to her god. No doubt she could rhapsodise your legs off. But Bear the dog probably had a canine orgasm over all those fantastic smells of other animals, without invoking a god, so there you go — each to their own.

  3. Dave Luckett

    I can almost – almost! – see what she’s getting at. I’ve had that experience at least twice in my life. In my ancestral homeland I saw the mountains of Gwynedd with the March sun and the snow on their faces; and I sat by a lake wreathed in mist in the far south-west here. And yes, why exactly they moved me – and by extension, others – to peace and joy, just because they were beautiful, is something of a mystery. Why peace? Why joy?

    Philosophers have been trying for millennia to say what beauty is, and why we react to it as we do. As far as I can make out, they’ve gotten nowhere. I can do no better.

    But just because there is no known cause, doesn’t mean that the cause is God. On this lady’s own testimony, she was already convinced of God. It’s not surprising that she’d assume Him – she was already assuming Him.

    As one pro writer to another, though, Ms Anderson, be careful of mixing your metaphors. And take a look at the derivation of the word “sophistication”. It derives directly from “sophistic”, which means “adulterated, tampered with, having additives”. No, sophistication is not required to recognise a Creator. You need to add other qualities, like thinking with the emotions and credulity, for that.

  4. chris schilling:
    “Boy, Suzie is one devout lady.”

    Perhaps. But one thing we know for certain is that she’s really into virtue signaling.

  5. “What I saw in that little winter nook was beauty.”
    Suzie is half blind. What she doesn’t or refuses to see is eg

  6. docbill1351

    Don’t laugh, ya miserable heretics! This is the same “conversion” story related by Dr. Francis Collins of the Human Genome project and head of the NIH:

    ‘I was hiking in the Cascade Mountains on a beautiful fall afternoon. I turned the corner and saw in front of me this frozen waterfall, a couple of hundred feet high. Actually, a waterfall that had three parts to it — also the symbolic three in one. At that moment, I felt my resistance leave me. And it was a great sense of relief. The next morning, in the dewy grass in the shadow of the Cascades, I fell on my knees and accepted this truth — that God is God, that Christ is his son and that I am giving my life to that belief.’

    On the other hand, I became convinced there was no god after praying mightily and still getting a C on my Calculus 2 exam!

  7. Laurette McGovern

    Ms Anderson hasn’t done her homeword, or else she would have discovered the literally dozens (100s?) of proofs already presented to the unbelieving world.