Self-Published Genius #118: Download from God

This is going to change everything! It’s a new addition to our series about Self-Published Geniuses. This is where we bring you news of authors with a vanity press book in which the author claims to have made paradigm-shattering discoveries, and announces his work by hiring a press release service.

The title of the press release is William Schonfelder’s newly released “Science Proves That God Exists” reveals compelling proofs of God’s existence in aspects of everyday science. Like so many others in our collection, it was issued by Cision PRWeb, which says it’s “the leader in online news distribution and publicity.” Here are some excerpts from the press release, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

“Science Proves That God Exists”: a well-written exposition that presents insight, information, and wisdom about God’s evident intent, purpose, and existence. [Wow!] “Science Proves That God Exists” is the creation of published author William Schonfelder, a caring, loving husband and father. He became a part of a fellowship on a social media platform with the goal to understand on a deeper level what God was trying to show the human element since the Garden of Eden through the information He intended.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! His education on the subject of his book came from an internet chat group! This should be good! The press release then says:

Schonfelder shares, “When I was in school back in the ’60s, I was taught many things that I believed were factual and honest in truth and knowledge. As an example, that we came from monkeys [Gasp!] and that the cavemen came from fish that walked on the land. [Egad!] My science teacher taught us that all things happened from a single Big Bang theory. I believed in these things that were taught to me so much as to defend them without any real information behind it other than what I was taught or shown. I even did this with my faith and religion because someone else who was more spiritual or educated than myself taught it that way. I just believed what they taught in the pulpit and on the radio.”

An “education” like that can ruin anyone. How did this author overcome all that indoctrination? The press release continues to quote the author:

“Then something happened to me that showed me that everything I believed was a lack of the ‘right’ interpretation of what the current information was trying to show me. [What happened?] That example is explained in this book using a closed- or open-universe theory based on the instruments of the time.”

Ooooooooooooh! It sounds wonderful! The author’s quote continues:

“When you read this book you will see what I am speaking about. The information has meaning and purpose. Information is what gets you up, creates your beliefs, and inspires you to a purpose.

Its getting incoherent, so we’re skipping a bit. Okay, now the author’s quote continues:

“I chose the title because of a download that came from the source — God — answering all of my questions in one night, wide awake, and without my knowledge of it, except my loving wife, who witnessed this download. I have learned that when I go to the source, ‘purpose is defined, that created me. …’

Wowie — he got a download from god! This is political dynamite! Then the press release gives us some really vital information:

Published by Christian Faith Publishing [Aha!], William Schonfelder’s new book is a profound study that will allow the readers to know how to properly understand the Creator’s word, establish a closer relationship with Him, and realize the purpose of His plans.

We’ve seen that publisher’s name several times before. Here’s their website: Christian Faith Publishing. It leaves no doubt — they’re a vanity publisher. They even let authors pay their fees on a monthly installment plan. With that, and the press release, we know the book qualifies for our collection.

After that essential information, we searched for the book at Amazon — and we found it! Hey, it’s got 316 pages and it costs only $29.95 in paperback. What a deal! And yes, Amazon has a “Look inside” feature. There are no reviews yet, so you can be the first!

Near the end of the press release it says you can view a synopsis of the book on YouTube. We haven’t looked, but you undoubtedly will.

Okay, that’s all we know about this one. So go ahead and buy the book — it belongs in every creationist’s library!

Copyright © 2021. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

14 responses to “Self-Published Genius #118: Download from God

  1. Judging from the download from the Curmudgeon’s website, it sounds as if the download from Schonfelder’s favorite god is pretty incoherent.

  2. chris schilling

    SC breaks it to us gently: “It’s getting incoherent…”

    Yes, downloads from God tend to have that effect on people. So might a concrete block falling on your head, an accident Schonfelder relates in his book happened to him and caused a “significant personality change.”

    The author is also big on dreams. He claims that dreams were God’s way of communicating with people in the Old Testament. And he throws in a couple of powerfully soporific dreams of his own, perhaps in the hope that God will soon get in touch with us, too.

    But there are other equally effective ways to communicate with God. One is to hallucinate really, really hard; another — for the less pious-minded — is to take lots of drugs and get completely off your nut. (Who knows? maybe that’s how they did things back in OT days).

  3. There are sayings like “may your dreams come true”, or “pleasant dreams”. I don’t have any recollection of dreams of things going spectacularly well. Mostly, things are going wrong. I don’t thing I have ever had a dream about the future.

  4. chris schilling

    @TomS
    Those are just regular anxiety dreams, like everyone’s. You need to have the kind of dream where God tells you He loves you and has a purpose for you (Oh, boy — those are the best dreams!)

    It wasn’t until the concrete-block-on-his-head incident that God revealed His plan for Schonfelder. That was the best thing that could have happened to that man.

  5. Dave Luckett

    I’m afraid I added materially to his view count by actually clicking on that Youtube link. 63 views since posting in December last year. Let’s not help him or his, er, publsher further. It’s nothing but the same quote SC provides, above, in print over pretty pictures and with a piano music track, anyway. Meaningful content, roughly “Them teachers in my school wuz all wrong!”

    But it is professionally produced. This is something I have always found disturbing about the creationist noise machine. It has nothing to say, no actual information to present, no adequately reasoned discourse, no real argument to make – but it always looks slick and polished.

    You go to actual science rebuttals of creationism, and they’re far more mixed. Some meet the same standard, but many of them are live recordings of lectures and public addresses, often on campus, where speakers fumble and dither with powerpoint presentations, often with the images out of shot, or with sound systems that don’t work right, You get fluffs, hesitations, ahs, ums and urrs, mic drops, noises off, occasional feedback squeals. Of course you also get the facts and the truth, but it’s often surprisingly difficult to receive them. Creationist propaganda is by contrast smooth, simple, colourful, and assimilable.

    As we say in my country, we gotta lift our game.

  6. “proofs of God’s existence in aspects of everyday science. ”
    Wich Self-Published Genius will look for such proofs in aspects of Quantum Darwinism?

    “a well-written exposition that presents insight, information, and wisdom”
    Wondeful. A pity that I’m only interested in knowledge.

    “to defend them without any real information behind it other than what I was taught or shown.”
    My bet is that he never looked for any since then.

    “my loving wife, who witnessed this download”
    Now I’m curious. Would she care to provide some details? See, I never managed to witness any download from the internet to my computer. So how did she do this?

  7. @DaveL: “You go to actual science rebuttals of creationism, and they’re far more mixed.”
    What I have learned is to become suspicious when such a video is slick and polished. There is a correlation with “lacking content”, though I do not dare to estimate the value of that correlation.

    “we gotta lift our game”
    Not that I oppose this, if only because I don’t really have any better suggestions, but I doubt if this will have much effect. What I’d like to stress (and it goes hand in hand with your suggestion) is improved accessibility of relevant information. Fortunately for us evilutionists there is Talkorigins (doesn’t need updates because creacrap doesn’t change) and Panda’s Thumb.
    But that ain’t going to change many creacrap minds either.

  8. Wow, the Table of Content has some intriguing headers. My favourite is “Measuring the Spirit of God”, but there is more.

    The preface is also promising:

    “God is like a sounding bell that is constantly ringing and giving off melody with various pitches and orchestrated notes.”
    Except for getting a heading from “constantly ringing” I can’t imagine how this would work in our natural reality, let alone as a metaphor.

    “God is no different than what our sun does:”
    Does he mean that his god will come to an end after another 5 billion of years?
    OK, enough for me. I encourage everyone to use the look-inside feature. Our dear SC is completely right – this is one of the best self-published geniuses he has ever presented. Wilhelm Beautifulfielder has very intimate knowledge of his god.

  9. It can’t be said too often: if a message pops up in your brain claiming to offer a free download from The Almighty,

    DON’T CLICK ON IT, IT’S A SCAM!

  10. Wow. Full disclosure, I didn’t go to Amazon or YouTube. However, from the Curmudgeon’s description and comments here I have a couple of questions. I assume the wife witnessing the download was sort of like the little bar running along the bottom of the screen with “download 42% complete”. Are his “measurements of the spirit of god” given in SI units of volume or mass? And it’s quite a revelation that god is a thermonuclear reactor, presumably spraying neutrinos all over the universe. And what happens when the god reactor uses up all of its hydrogen? I eagerly await answers from Schonfelder. And yes, Megalonyx, don’t click on the link and definitely don’t give him your account number if he offers you untold riches from a long lost uncle.

  11. Why would there be an addition to the testimony of the Bible?

  12. Dave Luckett

    Interesting point: people who claim to be able to communicate directly with God, to hear, interpret and deliver His word are called “prophets”. That status appears to be what Schonfelder is claiming.

    But alas, there is the old aphorism: “If you talk to God, you’re religious. If God talks to you, you’re crazy.”

  13. William should have lived 500 years ago. Less cognitive dissonance.

  14. Wasn’t “download from God” the basic supernatural plot point in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”? Good thing he’s just crazily deluded or surely his face would have melted off.