This is going to change everything! It’s a new addition to our series about Self-Published Geniuses. This is where we bring you news of authors with a vanity press book in which the author claims to have made paradigm-shattering discoveries, and announces his work by hiring a press release service.
The title of the press release is William Schonfelder’s newly released “Science Proves That God Exists” reveals compelling proofs of God’s existence in aspects of everyday science. Like so many others in our collection, it was issued by Cision PRWeb, which says it’s “the leader in online news distribution and publicity.” Here are some excerpts from the press release, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
“Science Proves That God Exists”: a well-written exposition that presents insight, information, and wisdom about God’s evident intent, purpose, and existence. [Wow!] “Science Proves That God Exists” is the creation of published author William Schonfelder, a caring, loving husband and father. He became a part of a fellowship on a social media platform with the goal to understand on a deeper level what God was trying to show the human element since the Garden of Eden through the information He intended.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! His education on the subject of his book came from an internet chat group! This should be good! The press release then says:
Schonfelder shares, “When I was in school back in the ’60s, I was taught many things that I believed were factual and honest in truth and knowledge. As an example, that we came from monkeys [Gasp!] and that the cavemen came from fish that walked on the land. [Egad!] My science teacher taught us that all things happened from a single Big Bang theory. I believed in these things that were taught to me so much as to defend them without any real information behind it other than what I was taught or shown. I even did this with my faith and religion because someone else who was more spiritual or educated than myself taught it that way. I just believed what they taught in the pulpit and on the radio.”
An “education” like that can ruin anyone. How did this author overcome all that indoctrination? The press release continues to quote the author:
“Then something happened to me that showed me that everything I believed was a lack of the ‘right’ interpretation of what the current information was trying to show me. [What happened?] That example is explained in this book using a closed- or open-universe theory based on the instruments of the time.”
Ooooooooooooh! It sounds wonderful! The author’s quote continues:
“When you read this book you will see what I am speaking about. The information has meaning and purpose. Information is what gets you up, creates your beliefs, and inspires you to a purpose.
Its getting incoherent, so we’re skipping a bit. Okay, now the author’s quote continues:
“I chose the title because of a download that came from the source — God — answering all of my questions in one night, wide awake, and without my knowledge of it, except my loving wife, who witnessed this download. I have learned that when I go to the source, ‘purpose is defined, that created me. …’
Wowie — he got a download from god! This is political dynamite! Then the press release gives us some really vital information:
Published by Christian Faith Publishing [Aha!], William Schonfelder’s new book is a profound study that will allow the readers to know how to properly understand the Creator’s word, establish a closer relationship with Him, and realize the purpose of His plans.
We’ve seen that publisher’s name several times before. Here’s their website: Christian Faith Publishing. It leaves no doubt — they’re a vanity publisher. They even let authors pay their fees on a monthly installment plan. With that, and the press release, we know the book qualifies for our collection.
After that essential information, we searched for the book at Amazon — and we found it! Hey, it’s got 316 pages and it costs only $29.95 in paperback. What a deal! And yes, Amazon has a “Look inside” feature. There are no reviews yet, so you can be the first!
Near the end of the press release it says you can view a synopsis of the book on YouTube. We haven’t looked, but you undoubtedly will.
Okay, that’s all we know about this one. So go ahead and buy the book — it belongs in every creationist’s library!
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