We Know Something Hambo Doesn’t Know

This may completely shatter the reputation of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. It’s something he himself wrote which you can find at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG) — Hambo’s creationist ministry. The title is What Was the “Forbidden Fruit” in Genesis? Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

In Genesis chapter 2, we read about a real tree, with real fruit, that grew in the Garden of Eden — the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. [Ooooooooooooh! The tree and the fruit were real!] Adam was told he could eat from any tree in the garden except that one tree.

This is exciting! What happened then? Hambo says:

Many people wonder what the fruit on that tree looked like, with a popular option being an apple. A recent headline from LiveScience even asked, “Was the ‘forbidden fruit’ in the Garden of Eden really an apple?” So, was it?

Hambo’s got you all wondering — what was that fruit? He tells us:

Well, the LiveScience article correctly states, “Nobody knows because the Hebrew Bible just says ‘fruit.’” In the article (which treated Genesis like an interesting legend, not as real history), the author offers a few suggestions from various scholars (such as fig, wheat, grapes, or citron) and sum up the history of how an apple might have become associated with the biblical narrative.

That article treated Genesis as a mere legend? That’s horrible! Hambo quotes from a 2010 article written by his son-in-law, Bodie Hodge, who said that in Hebrew, the words for evil and apple are very different, although they’re quite similar in Latin. He guesses that the Latin similarity may be the cause of the confusion. After that bit of enlightenment, Hambo says:

So the fruit that was “good for food” and “pleasant to the eyes” probably was not an apple. But we do know that it was a real fruit, growing on a real tree, in real history — [It’s all real!] and the impact of the rebellious eating of that fruit is still felt acutely today by every single person (in fact, the whole creation).

No doubt about it! Hambo explains:

You see, Adam and Eve’s choice to sin against their Creator brought death and suffering into God’s once “very good” creation. Now creation groans, waiting for the coming of Christ and the new heavens and new earth he will create (Romans 8:22).

Hambo continues for a few paragraphs with an ark-load of preaching about how to achieve salvation. We can skip that because we know you’re going to click over there to read it for yourself. But now that we’re finished with Hambo’s post, we’re left with a mystery: What was the forbidden fruit?

Have no fear, dear reader. Your Curmudgeon has the answer. How do we know what that fruit was when Hambo himself doesn’t know? We were told by the Cosmic Aardvark. Are you ready to learn what it was? Okay, just remember where you got this information. The forbidden fruit was an Eggplant . Wikipedia has lots of pictures of the things. They are truly ugly.

Okay, dear reader. Now you know more than Hambo. And you learned it from a reliable source — the Cosmic Aardvark. Now go forth and spread the word!

Copyright © 2021. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

27 responses to “We Know Something Hambo Doesn’t Know

  1. Why not ugli?

  2. siluriantrilobite

    One summer during college I painted homes and businesses to earn tuition money. One of the places I painted in Lexington, Kentucky was a Country Music bar. I was there early painting (7 am); they started serving alcohol at 10 am. By 11 am, two rednecks were at the bar getting drunk and debating theology. In spite of slurring their words, they eventually reached the consensus that the Forbidden Fruit was oral sex. This was one of the most astute theological discussions I have ever heard. It was much more evidence-based than anything ever said by scholarly theologian. I was impressed and consider this a important part of my education. WWHD (What Would Ham Do)?

    >

  3. @siluriantrilobite: Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned.

    Mightily, I might add.

  4. Dave Luckett

    Paris, the handsomest man in the world, obtained the golden apple of the Hesperides from Eris, goddess of discord, and by awarding it to the most beautiful of the goddesses, Aphrodite, because she had promised him the love of Helen, the most beautiful mortal woman, he began the train of events that led to the Trojan War.

    Nobody believes that literally, even though there was a city called Troy, and quite likely a Trojan War, although not on a Homeric scale. The “golden apple” might have been an orange, not otherwise known in Europe until the Middle Ages, but nobody knows. It’s – get this – a myth. That is, a story with supernatural elements used to explain a natural event or the origin of a human transaction or custom.

    So is the Garden of Eden. And Ham has precisely NO rational reason for treating these two stories of fruits and origins differently.

  5. The fruit of the eggplant? Impossible. It doesn’t have nearly enough taste to have tempted Adam and Eve.

    Siluriant’s redneck theologians might be on to something. For Celts and Ancient Greeks the apple was a symbol of sex, a consequence of Original Sin. It’s not hard to imagine what one of the passtimes was of the duo in the Garden of Eden.

  6. FrankB betrays a woefully limited palate:

    The fruit of the eggplant? Impossible. It doesn’t have nearly enough taste to have tempted Adam and Eve.

    Anyone would happily sell their soul for a portion of PARMIGIANA DI MELANZANE like my Nonna used to make…

  7. Surely it was a banana.

  8. Tomato is my guess

  9. After A & E are banned from the Garden, guards are placed at the entrance to ensure they do not sneak back in. So, why wouldn’t Old Yahweh put guards around the trees? (There are apparently many thousands of them and he doesn’t have to pay their wages, or feed and house them.) Yahweh is “all knowing” so he already knew what would happen if he left them unguarded.

    Sounds like a set up to me.

  10. @Mega: It was not the Parmigiana di Melanzane hanging at that tree. Your suggestion to sell our souls for that dish (as an evilutionist I immediately believe it’s worth it) proves it was developed after the Fall.

  11. FrankB claims, without evidence,

    It was not the Parmigiana di Melanzane hanging at that tree.

    How do you know? Were you there?

    How could Eden have been a TRVE paradise if parmigiana di melanzane, along with pasta and pizzas, didn’t grow on trees, ready to eat?

    Unless: apparently condemned to an eternal existence in a garden bereft of Italian food, the Serpent had only to describe to them the wonders of tiramisu in order to persuade them to defy the orders of God–a being that clearly did not appreciate fine dining….

  12. Steve Ruis asks: “So, why wouldn’t Old Yahweh put guards around the trees?”

    Leaving that tree unguarded, with its tempting fruit just hanging there, easily in reach, has been compared to giving a loaded gun to a kindergarten-age child. In each case, even if you give instructions to leave the tree (or the gun) alone, whose fault is it if things go wrong?

  13. @Mega: “How do you know?”
    Silly question. Parmigiana di Melanzane is not fruit. Moreover, like you said. people are willing to sell to their souls to get it. Adam and Eve had nothing to sell. Elementary logic.

    “How could Eden have been a TRVE paradise ….”
    Ah, but that’s the apparently hidden point. It wasn’t, for the reasons you gave plus many more: no Mona Lisa, no Preparez vos Mouchoirs, no Fawlty Towers, no Dawn on the Moskva River ….

  14. @Mega asks a silly question: “How do you know?”
    Parmigiana di Melanzane is not fruit.

    Mega also asks a good question: “How could Eden have been a TRVE paradise”
    My apparently hidden point is that it wasn’t. I mean, no Mona Lisa, no Dawn on the Moskva River, no Preparez vos Mouchoirs and above all not this summum of beauty:

    Such a paradise is as fake as creacrap science.

  15. My comments are not coming through?

  16. I just found your comments in the junk filter. I don’t know how that happened.

  17. Thanks.

  18. Last night I made a delicious risotto con fungi, and I sure hope some mythical god doesn’t banish me from my humble apartment. Tonight I’m making veal chop Milanese. So despite having mostly ancestors from near Manchester and Nottingham, I agree with the above fans of Italian cooking.

  19. Dave Luckett

    Tonight, with my son coming over for dinner, it will be slow-cooked spiced pork brisket, and a bread-and-butter pudding made with hot cross buns and (of course) an English custard made properly from scratch.

    English, do you hear? You can keep your eggplant and cheese stew and your coffee-flavoured egg whip.

  20. Retired Prof

    FrankB derides eggplant: “It doesn’t have nearly enough taste to have tempted Adam and Eve.”

    It could also have been a factor in the jealous rage that motivated the first murder, after YHWH enthusiastically accepted Abel’s offering of flesh foods but rejected Cain’s vegetables. No doubt Cain made the mistake of offering up steamed eggplant and zucchini, alongside parsnips and Brussels sprouts. Two were tasteless and the other two foul-tasting. No wonder the Big Guy preferred barbecued beef and mutton.

  21. Dave Luckett

    My wife having largely decided to become vegetarian, I am limited to only one meat meal a week, and have had to learn some new recipes – or rather, approaches to cooking. Cheese is your friend. Spices, in moderation, are useful, but they have to be fresh. The more unspeakable it looks, the better it usually tastes. The best I can say for it is that it’s not as bad as it might be.

    But I draw the line at Brussels sprouts. Like everything else that comes from that city, they are an abomination. It doesn’t matter how they’re cooked, they look, smell and taste like they’ve been boiled in horse urine – fetid, sulphurous, disgusting little packets of yellowish rope.

  22. I will use your descriptors for BS’s because I too cannot stand them in any way, shape or form.

  23. Dave Luckett notes

    Like everything else that comes from that city [Brussels], they are an abomination

    And I thought that Australians were great enthusiasts for excellent beers, such as those brewed in Brussels

    But I guess one should not rely on facile national stereotypes…

    🙂

  24. Dave Luckett

    If you like drinking a flat, rust-coloured liquid the density of laundry detergent out of a stemmed fishbowl because a glass wouldn’t be pretentious enough, Brussels is the place to be, all right.

  25. Quod erat demonstrandum…

  26. There are variations on vegetarianism.
    Dairy, eggs and honey are sometimes permitted, and one distinguishes a diet which excludes them as “vegan”. There is also a diet which includes occasional meat, maybe once or twice a week, known as “flexitarian”. Even there are those which eat fish and poultry, avoiding only mammal flesh.

  27. Brussels sprouts fried with bacon and balsamic vinegar are pretty good, although some would say it’s a sure way to spoil bacon.

    It’s a fact that we all have genetically different taste buds, etc., especially when it comes to things in the cruciform family.