Mother’s Day for Creationist Mothers

This one was found at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG) — the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. Hambo’s article is titled Mother’s Day Sale, $25 Coupon, and a Free Video. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

This Sunday is Mother’s Day in many countries, and if you’re looking for a gift for mom, consider resources that will equip and encourage her in her faith with our Mother’s Day sale. On this special sale page [Link omitted!], you’ll find gift suggestions such as past conference DVDs, apologetics books, magazine issues, and more. And on that page, enjoy a free video [Free!] from our much-loved 2021 Answers for Women conference. It’s our special gift on Mother’s Day!

Pay attention, dear reader. There’s nothing your mother will appreciate more than a bunch of stuff from ol’ Hambo’s gift shop. He says:

We’re also offering a special $25 coupon for your Mother’s Day shopping. [Wow!] Here are a few suggestions of gifts that moms love and that will encourage and equip them in their walk with Christ:

• Sacred: Embracing God’s Design for Sexuality [Huh?] Conference DVD Set

• Equipping Families to Stand Conference DVD Set

• The Ultimate Answers Pack

• The Sanctity of Life

• Embrace: Compassionate Answers in a Fallen World Conference DVD Set

There was a link for each of those gems, but you can get all of that stuff at Hambo’s special sale page. Then he tells us:

Another wonderful gift idea for your mom, wife, or grandmother is registration to our 2022 Answers for Women conference, March 31–April 2, 2022, at the Ark Encounter (south of Cincinnati). During this conference, women will become equipped to stand rooted in the Word of God, right in the midst of a twisted generation. [Ooooooooooooh! How wonderful!] They’ll hear from engaging, passionate speakers who love God’s Word and provide practical tools for living out faith in a dark world.

Can you imagine your mother’s ecstasy when you give her all this stuff? Hambo continues:

Speakers include: [A list of creationists, including Hambo himself!] Performing in concert and giving her powerful testimony will be Grammy-, Billboard-, and Dove-Award–winning artist Laura Story, known for her platinum hit “Blessings.”

We have no idea who that is, but maybe your mother does. If so, she’ll be thrilled. We’ll end with this:

It’s going to be a wonderful conference in 2022 — and each registration includes free admission [Gasp!] to both the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum. Complete a gift registration today at AnswersforWomen [Link omitted!]. What a special Mother’s Day gift this could be!

So there you are, dear reader. If your mother is an idiot — no, that’s not right — if your mother is a creationist, then get her all the stuff ol’ Hambo is offering. It’ll be a Mother’s Day she’ll never forget.

Copyright © 2021. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

4 responses to “Mother’s Day for Creationist Mothers

  1. Charles Deetz ;)

    Or I hear that Gwyneth Paltro is going to be a wellness host on a cruise line. Momma might like that more.

  2. chris schilling

    “[C]onsider resources that will equip and encourage her in her faith…”

    Why? Isn’t the Word of God more than enough for the devout, without the need to supplement it with all this material crap? Or is their faith so fragile that it must needs be continually bolstered? Or is Ham just a peddler of useless wares in a turgid marketplace, competing with his fellow Christian fanatics?

    So many uninteresting questions, so few that really require response.

  3. Dave Luckett

    He’s touting a conventicle that’s scheduled for 31 March through 2 April 2022 as a gift suitable for Mothers’ Day this year?

    This is desperate stuff, folks.

    And “Embracing God’s design for sexuality”, yet. On Mothers’ Day? Oh, brother. Now I’ve heard everything.

    Can anyone imagine the reaction of any woman confronted with those items on Mothers’ Day? I must admit my fancy fails. I wish I could ask Olivia what she would think of it, but I would never wish to be accused of tempting her to unladylike utterance.

    But my own mother was a deeply religious woman, the wife of a Presbyterian minister, whose faith never faltered, through all the vicissitudes she suffered, and I know what she would have said and done.

    All I can say is that Ham is pitching to a demographic that must be minuscule. There can’t be many of them, surely?

    But I observe Ham’s marketing shrewdness, and I quail inwardly. If there’s one thing Ham knows about, it’s what his marks will fall for. And this is the ‘net, after all. You can sell anything on the ‘net. There are people who make a living charging others to watch them play video games, forsooth. Why not this?

  4. G. Hardin

    Not directly creationist related, but loons Mike Lindell, the My Pillow guy, and Lin Wood are hosting a “Biker’s for Trump Salute to Moms” rally near Charleston SC this Sunday. Get there early, because the first 250 mothers get a free My Pillow!