Actual Evidence that Intelligent Design Is Real

This morning we were supremely confident in our opinion that the “theory” of intelligent design was pure hogwash. And then … well, judge for yourself, dear reader.

We were conducting our daily internet sweep for news about “intelligent design” and this popped up: Top 10 Best Small Trash Cans 2021. We were certain that it was nothing, but out of curiosity we clicked on it. As the title suggested, it was about trash cans, and there were pictures of all ten of them. We were puzzled, because we couldn’t imagine why the phrase “intelligent design” was used in that item. So we searched for it, and to our astonishment we were taken item number ten, which had this headline:

10. Umbra Skinny Sleek & Stylish Bathroom Trash, Small Garbage Can Wastebasket for Narrow Spaces at Home or Office, 2 Gallon Capacity, Bronze

Immediately below that was descriptive information, beginning with the phrase “intelligent design.” Here’s what it says, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

Intelligent design: regardless of its slim profile, skinny trash can maintain as much as 2 gallons and options an built-in deal with for straightforward transport and disposal of contents making it a great trash can for toilet

Isn’t that amazing! The descriptive text continues:

• Enhances your decor: not like an [sic] bizarre small rubbish can, this trash can makes a press release with its fashionable colours and distinctive finishes and was designed to boost your current décor [sic]

You gotta be impressed! Then it says:

• Materials kind: polypropelyne. skinny is ready to match into compact, unconventional locations and make a recent, daring assertion

• Matches virtually anyplace: a trendy trash can [Wow!] with a contemporary slim design that appears nice and simply matches into slim openings and odd areas in your toilet, bed room or workplace

• Sturdy & straightforward to wash: fabricated from super-strong polypropylene, skinny trash cans are sturdy, straightforward to wipe clear with a humid fabric, and encompasses a rounded backside [Hee hee!] with no crevices for filth, grime, or liquids to get trapped in

• The unique slim trash can: designed by david quant for umbra, skinny takes an on a regular basis family important from mundane to magnificent

That’s the full description of item number ten, and it made a believer out of us. No more will we laugh at the Discoveroids. We’ve seen the evidence, and now we’re convinced that intelligent design is real. How about you, dear reader?

Copyright © 2021. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

4 responses to “Actual Evidence that Intelligent Design Is Real

  1. Tim Y Simmons

    If I find Umbra will I find the intelligent designer?

  2. Just compare the level of description for a useful object which is intelligently designed.
    You don’t need to be impressed by being told that it is incomparably beyond anything ever done by humans, to accept that it is intelligently designed.

  3. chris schilling

    Eve comes across a dating ad attached to a tree in the Garden of Eden:

    Fun-loving naked guy, of indeterminate age, seeking like-minded companion who enjoys eating fruit and helping name things. Ideal lady must have good body, and encompass a rounded backside with no crevices for filth, grime, or liquids to get trapped in.
    Likes: rules and authority
    Dislikes: snakes

    Call me, sometime (no temptresses, please).

  4. Charles Deetz ;)

    At least what we read about the skinny trash can is factual, if disjointed. The DI writing style is somewhat better, but with nothing factual or provable.