The Best Jobs in the Universe Can Be Yours!

We’ve written about this before — see, e.g.: Your Destiny Awaits You in Kentucky — but the subject is so important that we’ve got to discuss it again. It’s about your chance to work for Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

Hambo’s latest article on this is titled “Perks” of Working at Answers in Genesis, the Creation Museum, and the Ark Encounter. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

We’re hiring at Answers in Genesis, the Creation Museum, and the Ark Encounter [Three links omitted!] — and we need you! When you join our team, you will get to be part of the incredible work the Lord is doing through this ministry, as well as part of a group of like-minded believers. And you’ll also enjoy a variety of employee perks.

Wait ’till you hear about those perks! Hambo says:

Of course, the greatest “perk” of working at the AiG ministry, or at either of our two themed attractions, is that you get to be part of sharing the message of biblical authority and the gospel with millions of people each year. [And the joy of working for ol’ Hambo!] But here are a few other perks of the job:

Then there are several paragraphs describing those perks. Here we go:

• Free, unlimited admission to the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum for you, your spouse, and dependent children during your employment, including free admission to many conferences and other special events [Ooooooooooooh!]

That’s just the start of a long and glorious list. Here’s the next one:

• 50% off up to five tickets per day at either attraction for family, friends, or others (many of our staff use this “perk” to invite unbelievers they meet to come and tour the attractions) [Ooooooooooooh!]

It’s hard to believe, but there’s more. How about this:

• 50% tuition discount for your children or grandchildren to our K-10 Christian school, Twelve Stones Christian Academy

The goodies keep coming:

• 50% discount on Answers in Genesis resources and free access to all digital resources

We don’t know what those “resources” are, but if they’re from Hambo, you know they’re great! And the list goes on:

• A wide range of health benefits, including a very affordable family health care plan

• Free or discounted admission to a variety of other major attractions

• And much more!

Overwhelming, isn’t it? Plus the glory of working for ol’ Hambo! Verily, you’ll be one of the most fortunate people who ever lived. Here’s one more excerpt:

Answers in Genesis, the Creation Museum, and the Ark Encounter are a great place to work — there’s really no other place like them! You can use the talents and gifts the Lord has blessed you with to help us reach millions each year with the truth of God’s Word and the saving gospel. I encourage you to check out all of our open positions and apply today at [Link omitted].

Also, although it isn’t mentioned in Hambo’s post, among the requirements for every job is that you must agree with and be able to sign Hambo’s Statement of Faith. That shouldn’t be a problem for you, but you ought to click over there to look at it carefully — just to make sure.

Well, dear reader, what are you waiting for? This is your chance to achieve glory. Go for it!

Copyright © 2021. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

2 responses to “The Best Jobs in the Universe Can Be Yours!

  1. I’m wondering how the “perks” (such as they are) compare to 10% of your income. Yes, part of the “statement of faith” is that you must be a member in good standing (“tithing”) with a fundamentalist church. Of course 10% is taken off the gross not the net, so realistically it is closer to 20%.

  2. Dave Luckett

    These announcements seem to be made rather often. It’s not surprising that a tourist attraction would be hiring in May, but Ham enterprises seem to advertise rather often. They’re not expanding the operations, it seems, so turnover appears to be the only reason. Yet Ham emphasises the vocational nature of this work – people would want to do it out of conviction.

    Funny, then, how he seems to churn through so many True Believers. Could it be that working for Ken Ham is not what it’s cracked up to be?