Shock! The Tower of Babel Was Real!

We found this amazing, thrilling news in the Daily Express, a British tabloid. Their headline is Archaeology news: Bible expert unveils ‘evidence’ Tower of Babel was REAL 4,000 years ago, and they have an active comments feature. Here are some excerpts from the news, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

The Tower of Babel appears in the Bible’s Book of Genesis and is often described as the world’s very first skyscraper. As the story goes, sometimes [sic] after Noah’s flood, a united force of humans began constructing the most impressive structure ever seen in an attempt to reach the heavens and God himself. [Gasp!] Angered, God steps in and scrambles everyone’s languages, thus preventing the people from finishing their project.

The story is familiar to everyone — especially readers of the Curmudgeon’s blog. The tabloid then says:

Genesis 11 reads: “But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building. The Lord said, ‘If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.'”

Clever plan! After that, the tabloid tells us:

The account of the Tower of Babel is widely accepted as an allegorical tale [Allegorical?] and an origin myth [Myth?] explaining the world’s languages. And though few people believe such an impressive structure ever stood, a Bible expert who has memorised more than 20 books of scripture [Impressive!] thinks there is archaeological evidence to back its existence.

Interesting, huh? The tabloid continues:

Tom Meyer, a professor of Bible studies at Shasta Bible College and Graduate School in California, US, told “When the crème de la crème of the international community was wearing fine linen, purple and scarlet and smelling like cinnamon and frankincense, the new vacation hotspot was the rebuilt Tower of Babel in Babylon. [Really?] Everyone was excited by the intriguing reports that the work on the Tower of Babel, which had stopped and then was restarted (by Hammurabi – 1792 to 1750 BC) only to be stopped again for 1,500 years, had been completed [Completed?] by famed builder, Nebuchadnezzar 2, king of Babylon (605 to 562 BC). They’d heard a rumour that the top of the temple contained a portal that transported you to heaven.”

We didn’t know any of this. What would we do without the Daily Express? Let’s read on, as they continue to quote Tom Meyer, the bible studies professor:

“According to Henry Hampton Halley (Halley’s Bible Handbook), the judgment of the confusion at the original Tower of Babel occurred in the fourth generation after the flood, around the time of the birth of Peleg (Genesis 10:25); this was 100 years after the Flood of Noah and 325 years before Abraham first came to the Holy Land (about 2000 BC). It was this famous tower mentioned in the book of Genesis that Nebuchadnezzar finished; there is archaeological evidence that could corroborate this.

It seems to us that 100 years after the Flood there were barely enough people around to dig a latrine, and certainly not enough to build a tower to heaven. But if those scholars have evidence, then it must be true! By the way, in an earlier post we computed the world’s population for several generations after the Flood, to put the Babel tale in its proper context. If you’re interested, see Answers in Genesis — The Ice Age.

The tabloid’s story goes on and on, but we’ve given you more than enough to get you interested. Now you can click over there and read it all. Then you’ll be convinced that the tale of the Tower of Babel is The Truth.

Copyright © 2021. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

12 responses to “Shock! The Tower of Babel Was Real!

  1. Daily Express is Fox News meets a US tabloid whose name I forget but it had a full front page picture of Nessie and her new baby. It’s not worthy of your contempt

    And of course, mixed in with the garbage is yes, Babel did have a tower when it was the place to be. And yes, the Babylonian Empire had two periods of glory.

    But I really have come across a minister who thinks that the division of languages really did happen at the Tower of Babel, in ways that evolution can’t describe:

  2. Eddie Janssen

    And another problem: In between the Flood and Babel only baby-boys were born. See Genesis 10.
    Those 4 women had a tough life! Especially old woman Noah.

  3. Wikipedia has a brief article on Tom Meyer.

  4. At least we know what direction God is. (Up.)

  5. Charley Horse X

    Don Verdean found Lot’s wife, Goliath’s skull and the holy grail. Don’t believe it? You will after watching

  6. BTW, although the authors of the Bible seemed to have heard of architecture of Babylon, they don’t mention the Pyramids of Egypt. Could it be that they didn’t know much about Egypt?

  7. Dave Luckett

    The story might refer to the great ziggurat of Ur, which in its first iteration stood about 30 m tall, impressive since it was built mostly of mud brick with baked brick facing, on a flat river plain.

    The rest is tosh, of course. What the ancient scribes and storytellers didn’t know is that the languages of the Indo-European group can be traced to common ancestor-languages, and these in turn to earlier ones, and that they diverged according to rules of mutation that are known. They – ahem! – diverged and evolved, rather than being created at a gestalt. Funny, that. Same idea seems to explain a lot of things.

    Paul Braterman, would the – er – “newspaper” you’re thinking of be “The National Enquirer”?

    TomS: Interesting observation. I can’t think why they wouldn’t have known about the Pyramids, any less than of the Ziggurats of Sumer. There were well-established and frequent trading links by land and sea with Egypt, very early on. More so, if anything, than with Mesopotamia. The only hypothesis that occurs to me is that the pyramids slope up to a fixed apex and thus appear to point to the heavens, while the ziggurats are a series of vertical steps which appear to be rising to meet them.

  8. He’s certainly talking about Etemenanki, the ziggurat in Babylon that allegedly reached a height of 91 meters when it was completed by Neo-Babylonian king Nebuchadnezzar II in the 6th century BCE.

    However, Tom Meyer is mistaken on almost every detail. The earlier phases of the ziggurat cannot be traced any earlier than the 8th century BCE. There are no “intriguing reports” of construction beginning thousands of years earlier, being abandoned, and then being “restarted” by Hammurabi during the Old Bayblonian empire.

    Furthermore, Babylon was not founded until about the 19th century BCE. Of the great Mesopotamian cities, it was one of the youngest. The fact that Genesis believes it to have been the first great city dates it to the same relatively late period as the Enuma Elish and the writings of Berossus, which also described Babylon as the first post-diluvian city.

    More information in this article of mine:

    The Tower of Babel: Did It Exist, and What Does the Story Mean?

  9. @Paul D.
    Thank you. That essay touches on popular misunderstandings of the Tower of Babel story.

  10. At about 4stories high gawd gets all pissed off. But the Empire State Building goes up just fine…Good got really weaker. But moved heaven s few hundred stories higher. Wait! High flying balloons, then airplanes, then space ships, then interplanetary robots, then V’ger! still no heaven, no crystal dome! Amazing how gawd gets smaller and further away from his special creation that he made a real mess of!

  11. @L.Long Against the common Christian interpretation of the story, the text actually shows no concern with the tower’s height and barely even mentions the tower. Yahweh’s problem is the fact that the people of earth live in one place and speak one language. (Even though that’s how he created them.)

  12. Derek Freyberg

    Tom Meyer, “The Bible Memory Man”, if you want to look, is endorsed by Chuck Norris (a blast from the past!) and Ken Ham – how can you not have faith in his utterances?