Louie Gohmert Wants To Move the Earth

This one is a wee bit off-topic, but we’ve strayed before. The reasons we’re doing it this time are: first, because we’ve received several tips about it; second, it’s too insanely stupid to pass up; and third — although this isn’t specifically in today’s news — the guy is a creationist. We’re talking about Louie Gohmert, a Republican member of Congress from Texas.

A search on his name at ol’ Hambo’s website produces no hits. Same thing at the Discoveroids’ website. And yet, a Google search on “Gohmert evolution” produces over 276,000 hits. This guy is a blogger’s gold mine!

For today’s story, instead of using one of the national news sources that might be prejudiced, we’ll use a newspaper from Texas. In The Dallas Morning News we found a story titled Rep. Louie Gohmert asks if Forest Service can shift Earth’s or moon’s orbit to fight climate change. That’s what we’re looking for! Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

If the U.S. Forest Service can do anything to change the orbits of the moon or Earth, Rep. Louie Gohmert wants to know. [Huh?] During a House hearing, the Tyler Republican stumped a top agency official by asking her about the Forest Service’s capabilities to relocate celestial bodies, given his view that humanity is not otherwise able to improve the climate — by cutting fossil fuel use, for instance.

Then they quote Gohmert asking his question in the hearing:

“I was informed by the past director of NASA that they have found that the moon’s orbit is changing slightly and so has the Earth’s orbit around the sun,” Gohmert said at the Tuesday hearing, noting “significant” solar storm activity this week. “Is there anything that the national Forest Service or BLM [Bureau of Land Management] can do to change the course of the moon’s orbit or the Earth’s orbit around the sun? Obviously, that would have profound effects on our climate.”

Brilliant question! Then what happened? The news story tells us:

There was a noticeable pause from Jennifer Eberlien, associate deputy chief of the Forest Service, a part of the Agriculture Department that manages 193 million acres around the country, about the area of Texas. BLM is actually part of the Interior Department, which also does not engage in space research. “I would have to follow up with you on that one, Mr. Gohmert,” Eberlien responded with a slight chuckle.

That was a very polite response. The Congressman then said:

“Well, if you figure out a way that you in the Forest Service can make that change, I’d like to know,” Gohmert said.

The newspaper tells us that others have commented on the exchange. For example:

Moriba Jah, an astrodynamics expert and professor at the University of Texas at Austin, called Gohmert’s suggestion “crazy” and “as feasible as making the sun rise in the west.” [Hee hee!] Satirical or not, Jah said, to hear someone in a position of such power “make statements that are blatantly dismissive of science … it makes me a bit nervous.”

The news story continues:

Social media users and Democrats also pounced. “Captain Marvel,” tweeted Rep. Ted Lieu, D-Calif. “She can alter planetary orbits with her superpowers. I’m going to work on a bipartisan resolution asking for her help.”

Ah, but does Gohmert:understand sarcasm? If not, that was wasted. Let’s read on:

“Louie Gohmert is an example of what happens when Texans wear their cowboy hats too tight,” read one tweet as another critic opined that Gohmert “never disappoints in the Department of Lunacy.” Gohmert’s office did not respond to requests for comment on whether he was being satirical, and he had not elaborated. It’s not the first time he’s touted theories that critics viewed as spaced out.

Okay, that’s enough from The Dallas Morning News. But if you look around, there’s no end to the “crazy Gohmert” stories over the years. You shouldn’t have any trouble finding one to talk about. Go ahead, have a ball!

Copyright © 2021. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

23 responses to “Louie Gohmert Wants To Move the Earth

  1. Some of us are old enough to remember when Republicans, event the ones we didn’t agree with, were basically sane.

    I miss those old days!

  2. There is a Wikipedia article on this representative, which touches on some controvesies.
    I have heard from a friend that defenders are saying that these questions were facetious, but I can not verify that.
    One difficulty with altering the Earth’s orbit is the issue of collisions with asteroids. The Earth has cleared out its orbit over billions of years, but wouldn’t a new orbit deal with a new bunch of asteroids?

  3. @TomS, That would be simply wonderful! We could use the energy of impact of the asteroids to phase out the use of fossil fuels entirely!

  4. Texas has been working on reducing the effectiveness of their public education. Perhaps this is a sign that their hard work is paying off.

  5. docbill1351

    Louie Gohmert is a profoundly ignorant and stupid person. And as is the case with so many profoundly and stupid people, he has no sense of humor. Zero. None. Louie adheres to every conspiracy theory out there. The notion of Louie making a facetious comment is, ironically, laughable.

    Back in 2015, Obama was going to detain residents of Texas in abandoned WalMarts, a conspiracy fueled by Russian disinformation groups. (Governor Abbott was also taken in by the Jade Helm 15 hoax and went so far as to activate the Texas Guard to keep an eye on the US Army.)

    Louie claimed that he saw with his own eyes signs erected in the desert along the Texas-Mexico border, in Arabic, giving directions on how to enter the country, and that Mexico was harboring ISIS training camps. Of course, Louie supports “Stop the Steal,” the invasion of the caravans and imminent attacks by ISIS, and is, not surprisingly, a climate change denialist, vaccine skeptic, was and is an anti-masker, caught Covid 19 and promoted non-existent cures.

  6. I might be difficult to coordinate but has anyone tried everyone on the Earth jumping at the same time.

  7. bewilderbeast

    @richard: C’mon! With cellphone apps we could do it! Gohmert would get his timing wrong though, and probably negate the whole effect; maybe wobbling Texas south of the border . . .

  8. @Paul Braterman It would almost certainly phase out the fossil fuel users.

  9. I am always happy to oblige Olivia’s frequent requests that I yet again move the earth for her…

  10. @PaulS, that’s *exactly* what I had in mind

  11. Instead of changing the earth/moon orbit, is it not easier to put the sun a bit further away? Just asking.

  12. @hans435 That’s pretty much going to happen eventually but I don’t think I’ll be around to see it.

  13. Laurette McGovern

    Give Louie a break–the Village Idiots of Texas deserve representation in Congress, too

  14. As a Texas transplant living in Louisiana for the last 42 years, I don’t feel so bad. Although, many of our state and federal representatives in LA LA Land (its not just California any more) are not much better that Gohmert.

  15. Eddie Janssen

    It doesn’t look like a sarcastic question

  16. Mike Elzinga

    @ richard and bewilderbeast
    Call it “Operation Green Thump.” Maybe enlist the elephants and whales by training them to jump and breach in unison. Add a “Trump Thump” to be certain.

  17. As long as we can change the Earth’s orbit, we can remake the calendar to be sensible. The year will be exactly 360 days long, each month will have exactly 30 days, each week will be 6 days, with no more Mondays (yeah!). The Earth’s axis will be straight up, so sunrise is at the same time every day, avoiding the argument for daylight saving time.

  18. It’s amazing to contemplate the wonders Gohmert will achieve by moving the Earth around. And just wait until he gets his hands on Uranus!

  19. I’m surprised that there has been no reaction from the Judeo-Christian-Muslim community wrt changes in the phases of the Moon and holy days.

  20. Actually, the moon h been receding from earth by about 1.5 inches per year due tidal effects between the two bodies. The earth has as a consequence been very slowly spinning a tiny bit slower. So if gopher waits long enough maybe there will be climate effects, but he likely won’t live that long.

  21. Over on his twitter page Louie appears to be taking it seriously. And here I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that he was cracking a joke. Boy do I look silly now.

  22. See the Wikipedia article on Milankovitch cycles – the periodic changes in the Earth’s orbit which have changed the Earth’s climate.
    I don’t understand how the changes in the Moon’s orbit affects the Earth’s climate.
    While changes in the Earth’s climate would have an effect on trees and other living things, it seems unlikely that forest management or land management would provide a way of changing the Astronomy of the Solar System.

  23. Dave Luckett

    It’s as if he thought the Earth was some kind of thin disk, and the moon was a kind of balloon in the sky.

    Oh, wait…