Can Anyone Explain the “Cambrian Explosion”?

You’ve all heard of the Cambrian Explosion. Wikipedia says it’s “an event approximately 541 million years ago in the Cambrian period when practically all major animal phyla started appearing in the fossil record. It lasted for about 13 – 25 million years and resulted in the divergence of most modern metazoan phyla.”

According to the Discoveroids, it was that magic moment (lasting perhaps 25 million years) when their intelligent designer — blessed be he! — came to this privileged planet to tinker with the primitive biosphere to create the basic forms of life we now see.

But according to a recent article at PhysOrg, Fossil secret may shed light on the diversity of Earth’s first animals:

A large group of iconic fossils widely believed to shed light on the origins of many of Earth’s animals and the communities they lived in may be hiding a secret. Scientists, led by two from the University of Portsmouth, UK, are the first to model how exceptionally well preserved fossils that record the largest and most intense burst of evolution ever seen could have been moved by mudflows.


Until now, it has been widely accepted the fossils buried in mudflows in the Burgess Shale in Canada that show the result of the Cambrian explosion 505 million years ago had all lived together but that’s now in doubt. … Now, Dr. Nic Minter and Dr. Orla Bath Enright have found that some of the animals which became fossils could have remained well preserved even after being carried large distances, throwing doubt on the idea the creatures all lived together.

So now what are we supposed to think? Fortunately, we have guidance from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo). As you know, he’s the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

Hambo’s new article at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry, is titled The Cambrian Explosion — An “Illusion of Animal Communities Which Never Existed?”. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

What does it mean when you find fossils buried together? I’ve asked this question to audiences across the world for many years. The answer? It means they were buried together! [Amazing!] Evolutionists [the fools!] often use fossils from the same stratigraphic layers and geographical area to construct a model of the ecosystem during that supposed epoch of time. But they weren’t there [Hee hee!], so how can they know all those creatures lived together and weren’t just buried together?

What’s he saying? Stay with us, all will be revealed. Then he mentions the research that the PhysOrg article discuses, and he says:

These scientists examined well-preserved fossils from Cambrian rock layers, modeling how these fossils might have been moved and buried by mudflows. Their fieldwork and laboratory tests concluded that — contrary to long-held assumptions — the creatures buried together in the fossil-rich Burgess Shale might not have all lived together. Instead, creatures might have been transported many miles in mudflows without being damaged before being buried and preserved together, thus creating “the illusion of animal communities which never existed.”

So what does it mean? Hambo explains:

Rock layers, and the creatures buried in them, aren’t really snapshots of past ecosystems from millions of years ago. Those rock layers and fossils were formed during the global flood [Ooooooooooooh! The Flood!] when mudflows were flowing, volcanos were polluting the atmosphere and depositing thick layers of ash, the fountains of the great deep were bursting from massive fissures in the ground, thick rain was pouring from the sky, and tidal waves were wreaking havoc on soon-to-be-devoured coastline communities. It was a catastrophic time like no other!

Good, huh? He continues:

Fossils give us some indication of the creatures and ecosystems that existed before the flood, but we must remember that it was a world being destroyed by a world-altering global flood — not a peaceful world slowly being preserved over eons of time.

Yes, you gotta keep that in mind. Let’s read on:

The researchers note they don’t know “precisely what caused the mudflows which buried and moved the animals which became fossilized, but the area was subject to multiple flows, causing well-preserved fossils to be found at many different levels in the shale.”

But Hambo knows! He explains:

Starting with the eyewitness account of history from the One who was there, I can confidently tell them what caused these mudflows — the global flood of Noah’s day! And until they understand the true history in God’s Word, they won’t properly understand or interpret geology or paleontology.

And that’s the end of Hambo’s article. Stunningly brilliant, huh?

Copyright © 2021. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

14 responses to “Can Anyone Explain the “Cambrian Explosion”?

  1. The only thing Ham is latching on to is the uncertainty about what caused the mudflows. But that’s good enough for his followers. As always, scientists are scratching their heads, whereas Ham can provide them with a solid answer.

  2. siluriantrilobite

    That the Burgess Shale fossils have been deposited in debris flows has been known for decades. Ham and his suck-up crew are mystery mongering. Be sure and watch Ham’s biweekly news broadcast; today’s is particularly pitiful.

    > >

  3. The flood of Noah (2611 BC) had nothing to do with the Cambrian Explosion. Hambo is a blind clown that doesn’t want to learn the truth. The series of death in the Cambrian era was caused by Lucifer’s temper tantrum because the first advent of mankind (4.7 Billion – 245 Million BC) would not worship him. It was “death by escalation”, starting small in the oceans, and advancing upward.

  4. Dave Luckett

    And back we go to making up scripture.

    In the Flood:
    “when mudflows were flowing, volcanos were polluting the atmosphere and depositing thick layers of ash, the fountains of the great deep were bursting from massive fissures in the ground, thick rain was pouring from the sky, and tidal waves were wreaking havoc on soon-to-be-devoured coastline communities.”

    Of the effects described, the ones that appear in scripture are the “fountains of the great deep and the rain. The rest of it is straight out of the head of Ken Ham.

    I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: this is pure, blatant, rampant hypocrisy, fueled by raging narcissism. Ham says he worships the text, but the text says whatever he wants it to say. So what he really worships is Ken Ham.

    I suppose it’s neatly recursive and conveniently compact, being your own god, but one would think that it has regrettable effects on the perception of reality. That is certainly true in the case of Ham, whose grasp on reality is shaky, to say the least. Yet he functions very effectively in the world he operates in, that of bibliolatry and authoritarian politics, which only demonstrates what a mad world that is.

  5. @Dave Luckett
    And btw the assertion that Genesis is eyewitness testimony – nowhere is that said in the Bible.

  6. The only decent things Ham ever contributed to society was as little taxes as he could get away with and the sandwich which bears his name.

  7. Charles Deetz ;)

    So Hambo sounds like a FOOL. So does Trump. But their stories, as silly as they are to factual/rational people, gaslight the people who follow them. It festers until they can only believe it is true, even if blue is red.

    I mention that today, as Trump’s ‘Big Lie’ seemed only a silly little thing to himself, because he isn’t someone who can accept losing. Big deal, let him have his pitty-party. Now, six months on, people who never questioned an election before are SURE that it was stolen. Somehow. It has to be true.

    And those who fall under the charms of these smooth talkers obvious lies and fantasy, are dangerous. This blog has felt like a folly about arguing a simple, basic fact. But the lessons learned here right now are coming into focus. Our political world in America is going to get worse the rest of the year, and god help us if Trump gets arrested or charge with crimes.

  8. bewilderbeast

    @Charles Deetz 😉 – I agree with you we have to take lies and lying WAY more seriously. Every lie needs to be challenged seriously, factually – not only by mocking it.
    As for “god help us if Trump gets arrested or charge with crimes” – ‘god’ also help us if he doesn’t.

  9. Hambone:
    But they weren’t there [Hee hee!], so how can they know all those creatures lived together and weren’t just buried together?

    Maybe because they are dedicated scientists whose research is both thorough and painstaking and covers every contingency, not just the opening of a fairytale book and starting and finishing with what’s in there by quoting old men long passed??

  10. Ken is hilarious. The Bible is the biggest “they weren’t there” thing ever. Thou hypocrite, cast out first the “they weren’t there” out of thine own eye.

  11. I had NO IDEA whatsoever that the ol’ hambone was such a talented biostratigrapher and chronostratigrapher…WOW…………

  12. “volcanos were polluting the atmosphere and depositing thick layers of ash”

    Wow. Where in the Bible did Hambo get that one?

  13. He makes his own notes in the margin

  14. We’re the thick layers of ash also deposited on the Ark?