Today we have a new addition to our series about Self-Published Geniuses. This is where we bring you news of authors with a vanity press book in which the author claims to have made paradigm-shattering discoveries, and announces his work by hiring a press release service.
The title of today’s press release is The Solar System As We Know It Does Not Exist, and it was issued by AB Newswire. Here are some excerpts from the press release, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
This is a masterpiece [Hee hee!] written by Lewis Fofanah. He is here to debunk the universal ideologies we grew up believing. This book draws a line between the truth and the tuned truth constructed by astrophysicists. He calls them out with his own knowledge and research-backed with the ultimate ‘truth’ of religion. Through his easy-to-comprehend narrative, he wants to educate the world about the misconception they have all been living with.
Pay attention, you fool! This book reveals The Truth™. The press release says:
Fofanah has described in his work that for centuries, people have believed in a lie, that the world is a globe. [Gasp!] He brings to the table the scriptures of God and through his engineering knowledge, logical examples, and calculations, he attempts to clarify the haze that we are living in. To him, round earth is not scientifically possible. He believes that the astrophysicists want to keep the people in a knot, indulged in a non-existent solar system carved through the fancies of the ones in charge, as their aim is to mislead the world from the true power bearer, God.
This is the book you’ve been waiting for all your life! The press release tells us:
This book will engage you in a pondering frenzy, pulling the strands that hold the entire structure in place, making you aware of the invisible arms providing it power, how the minds are programmed from day one through the means of media and the normal things surrounding us. Influence is fatal, and human beings are chained to an invisible rope that is in the hands of the authorities. Satan has made use of that principle in dealing with us. He sent his disciple to instill in us a lie, and we are completely powerless to see it as a lie.
We know you’re fascinated. The press release continues:
He [the author, we assume] is on a mission to bring back the misguided ones to the right path. To make another attempt but with a calculative strategy, to dissect the programming and pull the readers out of the trance. He has mentioned in his book three methods [Three!] for the readers to find out themselves whether the earth is flat or a globe. As the book progresses, he touches upon the economic and political power of the fake solar system.
After that fantastic information, we searched for the book at Amazon — and we found it! Wowie — it has 261 pages and costs only $55.00 in hardcover. What a deal! And yes, Amazon has a “Look inside” feature. Hey — there are no reviews yet. You can be the first!
Amazon doesn’t tell us who the publisher is, so we went back to the press release. It mentions Book Writing Founders. They even offer ghostwriting services, so we’re rather certain they’re a vanity publisher. With that, and the press release, we know the book qualifies for our collection.
Okay, dear reader, we’ve given you all the information we can find, and it looks great. Go ahead and buy the thing — and tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent ya!
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