Self-Published Genius #131: You Gotta Read This!

Today we have a new addition to our series about Self-Published Geniuses. This is where we bring you news of authors with a vanity press book in which the author claims to have made paradigm-shattering discoveries, and announces his work by hiring a press release service.

The title of today’s press release is The Solar System As We Know It Does Not Exist, and it was issued by AB Newswire. Here are some excerpts from the press release, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

This is a masterpiece [Hee hee!] written by Lewis Fofanah. He is here to debunk the universal ideologies we grew up believing. This book draws a line between the truth and the tuned truth constructed by astrophysicists. He calls them out with his own knowledge and research-backed with the ultimate ‘truth’ of religion. Through his easy-to-comprehend narrative, he wants to educate the world about the misconception they have all been living with.

Pay attention, you fool! This book reveals The Truth. The press release says:

Fofanah has described in his work that for centuries, people have believed in a lie, that the world is a globe. [Gasp!] He brings to the table the scriptures of God and through his engineering knowledge, logical examples, and calculations, he attempts to clarify the haze that we are living in. To him, round earth is not scientifically possible. He believes that the astrophysicists want to keep the people in a knot, indulged in a non-existent solar system carved through the fancies of the ones in charge, as their aim is to mislead the world from the true power bearer, God.

This is the book you’ve been waiting for all your life! The press release tells us:

This book will engage you in a pondering frenzy, pulling the strands that hold the entire structure in place, making you aware of the invisible arms providing it power, how the minds are programmed from day one through the means of media and the normal things surrounding us. Influence is fatal, and human beings are chained to an invisible rope that is in the hands of the authorities. Satan has made use of that principle in dealing with us. He sent his disciple to instill in us a lie, and we are completely powerless to see it as a lie.

We know you’re fascinated. The press release continues:

He [the author, we assume] is on a mission to bring back the misguided ones to the right path. To make another attempt but with a calculative strategy, to dissect the programming and pull the readers out of the trance. He has mentioned in his book three methods [Three!] for the readers to find out themselves whether the earth is flat or a globe. As the book progresses, he touches upon the economic and political power of the fake solar system.

After that fantastic information, we searched for the book at Amazon — and we found it! Wowie — it has 261 pages and costs only $55.00 in hardcover. What a deal! And yes, Amazon has a “Look inside” feature. Hey — there are no reviews yet. You can be the first!

Amazon doesn’t tell us who the publisher is, so we went back to the press release. It mentions Book Writing Founders. They even offer ghostwriting services, so we’re rather certain they’re a vanity publisher. With that, and the press release, we know the book qualifies for our collection.

Okay, dear reader, we’ve given you all the information we can find, and it looks great. Go ahead and buy the thing — and tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent ya!

Copyright © 2022. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

17 responses to “Self-Published Genius #131: You Gotta Read This!

  1. Okay after this one I’m beginning to wonder if press releasers have any scruples at all. I hope these guys aren’t representative of everyone in the press releasing industry.

  2. My advice to Fofanah: if you think the world is flat, prove it. Go to the edge and jump off!

  3. For reason opaque to me, this site made me re-register my WP account with new passwords twice, despite the fact that I have been commenting on this site for years. And then it said I was anonymous, above.

  4. Derek Freyberg

    “Do you know that most data NASA presents is forged and manipulated just to get the desired results? Lewis Fofanah’s book will prove to be a major breakthrough because it uncovers a segment of declassified documents from NASA, which itself acknowledges that the EARTH IS FLAT.”
    Houston, we have a problem.

  5. Dave Luckett

    richard, wonder no more. The truth is that nobody who writes “press releases” for scam presses can survive in the job, if they are handicapped with anything approaching a conscience about anything they write. This one has abandoned the trowel often used for laying the hooey on, and is using tools more normally employed in heavy construction cement pours. That only confirms it.

    They know they’re acting out a lie. The outfit they front for has crossed the line between vanity press and scam. No honest print-for-pay-up-front operation needs a “press release” writer. They know what they’re doing, and they know it’s dishonest, and they don’t care.

    It might be said in their defence, that they also know that not a word of it will be read by anyone except the author and perhaps cynics like us for the purpose of ridicule That might mitigate the offense. No harm, no jail time. It’s also true that if ever there was a population that should be scammed, it’s chumps like this one. A flat-earther, for the love of Mike! And, like everyone who pays a scam “publisher” to publicize their thoughts, not only a victim of a scam, but also deeply afflicted with Dunning-Kruger syndrome.

    For this loser, all of history, government, science, and even religion (all, that is, except his set of peculiar beliefs, whatever they are) is one monumental conspiracy. So much he makes plain in the first pages of this crapulous tract. If you can believe that, you can believe anything, and he goes on to prove it.

    Truly, as I remarked elsewhere, the human mind is a curious thing. You can shut down large parts of it entirely, and other parts still go banging on, as anyone who makes an effort to remember their dreams will know. Fofanah lives the dream, and has to shut down most of his mind to do it.

    A curious bargain, when dreams can so easily become nightmares.

  6. Ross Cameron

    High time your government formed a Department for the Restriction of Nutty Authors. Every time a wacko appears in print, you can guarantee it will collect an equally rabid bunch of followers and so prolong the life of weirdom. Still, maybe the market does the same thing as this volume will finish up on the remainder tables for three bucks in a matter of months.

  7. Our dear SC has withheld some important information from us! You can find it on the Amazon website:
    “The author has given everyone a challenge to debunk his analyses and prove otherwise. All you must do is buy his book and follow the instruction on how to accept his challenge. You stand to gain $ 50,000 if you win”.
    Not a bad bargain when you consider the $8.87 you need to fork out for the Kindle edition!

  8. abeastwood, this website has been weird for months, but I persevere.

  9. Things are far worse than the author imagines. We have been deceived into thinking that the Earth is round, not just for the past few centuries, but at least since the time of Eratosthenes, who colluded with the military-industrial complex of his day, not only to proclaim the Earth’s roundness, but to estimate its size.And his estimate is embarrassingly close to what NASA would have us believe, proving that the Conspiracy is indeed deep-rooted.

    The Conspiracy has even managed to prevent me from opening the “Look Inside”, so that I was unable to find out more about the “three methods for the readers to find out themselves whether the earth is flat or a globe.” Did anyone else have better luck with that?

  10. David Luckett

    Ross, there will be no “remainder table”, because this book will never be remaindered. That’s because it’ll never be stocked by any sales outlet, not even on consignment. If you order a paper copy on line from that company named after the South American river, they’ll get one in from the print mill, and send it on, for the usual split. Same for a regular bookshop. It won’t be on a shelf, but you can order it in the store, for cash in advance, if you know to ask for it specifically. That’s what the “publisher” means when they say, as they always do, that the book will be available from book stores. But really sales, if there are any, will be by the author from the pile he paid for, to friends and family, again if he has any.

    The scam works because the authors pay up front for every copy that is actually printed – a couple of hundred, usually. The product will be priced at a premium for its category – like this one is – but it will be produced as cheaply as possible, with crappy paper, covers and binding, and it will not be designed or edited, the text simply dumped to a print program. The only copies produced will be those the author contracts to buy, and pays for, up-front. Any other sales are pure gravy. The author has also quite likely been soaked for all kinds of added charges – anything the promoter can think of: “registration for the Library of Congress” is a favourite. So are “reviewers’ copies”. Oh, the possibilities are limited only by the pigeon’s funds, since his credulity and the scammer’s cupidity are essentially infinite.

    I almost feel sorry for this loser. It is doubtless a severe blemish to my character that I really don’t.

  11. @Paul Braterman
    At least some of the flat-earthers realize that the ancient Greeks argued for a spherical Earth. There is the little inside joking reference to the “Greece ball” Earth.
    BTW, a little earlier than Eristothenes, Aristotle argued for the spherical Earth and gave an estimate of its size (which he attributed to some earlier mathematicians). (It isn’t clear what his number means, but probably within a factor of 2 or so of the modern value. Not bad.)an

  12. I’m so glad I stopped worrying about this nonsense years ago. But it does worry me that these morons are allowed to publish books.

  13. @Anonymous, it should worry you much more if they were not allowed to publish books

  14. The most extensive proofs of the flat Earth are over 100 years old.

  15. @Les Lane; also from a self-published genius!

  16. Just relying on the Wikipedia article on “Willibrord Snellius” (Snel van Royen, 1580-1626) …
    He was the first to do land surveying to determine the curvature of the Earth. (Modern surveying is dependent on the knowledge of the curvature of the Earth. Just take a look at surveyers’ maps.)
    Wikipedia says that Snel’s 1617 determination of the size of the Earth was 3.5% less than the modern value.

  17. Am I seriously the first person to make the, “Is his dad’s name Bananafana?” joke? Well, here we are then.