Hambo asks: Are You a Mammal? Are You an Animal?

This one was found at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. It’s titled We’re Mammals — But Are We Animals?, and it was written by Hambo himself. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

What are humans? Are we mammals, are we just animals, or are we something else entirely? And does the answer to this question even really matter? Secularists, of course, want to indoctrinate children to believe they’re just animals and thus are not really special.

Those secularists are hell-bound fools! Hambo says:

Well, to answer this question, let’s start with a more basic question, “What is a mammal?” [Hee hee!] But to answer that, we have to back up even more: Why do we even have such a classification as mammal?

Hambo explains:

Mammals, as a group of organisms, exist because of the classification system that biologists use, invented by creation scientist Carl Linnaeus. This system organizes all living things into kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, and species. Mammalia is one of the classes that creatures can be assigned to. (It’s important to note that, ultimately, since humans are made in God’s image and are unique from the rest of creation, we don’t truly fit into this classification system — more on that below.)

Are you taking notes, dear reader? Good! You might learn something. Hambo continues:

So, what’s a mammal? For a creature to be considered part of the class Mammalia, it must possess a variety of characteristics:

We’ll skip the long list — except for “Mammary glands to feed their young.” Okay, let’s read on:

Whew — it’s a pretty long list, and a wide variety of creatures find themselves on it, from mice to tigers to humpback whales to bats to platypuses to humans. But should humans be classed in Mammalia? [What?] Well, humans do possess all the above characteristics. This makes us, from a strictly biological perspective, mammals.

So what’s the problem? Brace yourself, here it comes:

These similarities have nothing to do with any kind of evolutionary ancestry [Huh?], which is an assumption based on a particular view of the past that assumes all of life is related and descended from a universal common ancestor. In a biblical worldview, we can understand that various creatures share similar characteristics because they share a common Designer who used a similar design throughout much of his creation.

Isn’t Hambo wonderful? Here’s another excerpt:

But if humans are mammals . . . does that then make us animals? Humans do have all the observable characteristics that would place us in the kingdom Animalia (to which the class Mammalia belongs), but perhaps it would be better to ask, “If humans are not merely animals, what makes us different?”

You know what’s coming, don’t you? Well, here it comes:

The answer depends on your worldview. [Hee hee!] If you believe all of life is related through a common ancestor, the answer must be that we’re just animals. If biology is all there is, there’s nothing that makes humans unique from the animal kingdom — we’re just more highly evolved than any other known creature. [That’s horrible!] The biblical worldview, however, answers this question very differently.

This is way too long, so we’ll give you only one more excerpt:

We aren’t just animals, as evolutionists believe — we’re completely unique in God’s creation because we bear the image of the Creator of the universe.

Okay, that’s enough. Now you know where you fit in with all the other animals on Earth — you don’t fit in! Isn’t Hambo the greatest?

Copyright © 2022. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

18 responses to “Hambo asks: Are You a Mammal? Are You an Animal?

  1. siluriantrilobite

    Hambo is certainly a mammal. He has [some] hair and suckles his young. Most of his young are on the payroll.

    Sent from my iPad

    >

  2. It’s worse than Hambo imagines. Those stupid evolutionists do not say that humans are “just more highly evolved than any other known creature”. They say that humans are roughly (with allowance for different generation lengths) no more and no less evolved than, say, goldfish or dandelions; just evolved in a different direction.

  3. Charley Horse X

    To be accurate…gods are made in humans’ images.
    Proven over and over.

  4. Nice try with the “two worldviews” false equivalence Ken. You can put lipstick on a pig but you can’t drag an evolution horse to creationist bilge water.

  5. chris schilling

    Linnaeus the creation scientist originally classified humans among the great apes. Hambo eats; drinks; sleeps; defecates; procreates, etc. That makes him — from a biological (and physiological) perspective — an animal, never mind whatever special properties he reserves exclusively for himself
    and his fellow special creationist friends.

  6. Are we
    Primate
    Tetrapod
    Vertebrate
    Multicellular
    Eucaryote
    Cellular

  7. Hambone, the answers you seek are “yes” and “yes”. You’re welcome. /s

  8. Ecclesiastes says that humans are animals, and not even better than the others.

  9. Charles Deetz ;)

    So, Hambo, let me as the 10-year-old’s question: What is “in the image of the Creator”????
    What unique characteristics do humans have that the Creator shared with them? Invisibility? All-seeing knowledge? Forward-facing eyes? The need for eyeglasses and stents?
    I can see how the creator would have a special affection for humans and give them special characteristics he would want and use if he were mortal, that’s kind of how I interpreted it when I was a boy. But Hambo is making a much more literal interpretation. One without any facts or science to back it up, even with ‘the right frame of mind’. What a charlatan.

  10. Dave Luckett

    Again, it’s the insertion of a single word, “just”, that turns a truth into a lie. We are animals. That’s the taxonomic kingdom we share with apes and frogs and crabs and hydra and millions of other species. Like them, we are deuterostome eukaryotes that fuel a metabolism by ingesting the tissues of other eukaryotes. But we, like all the others, are not “just” animals. The word “just”, meaning in this context “merely”, “only” or “exclusively”, is a falsehood, and in this case, deliberately misleading.

    We are animals. We are social animals that have specialised in intelligence and manipulation of physical objects according to mental models. This has led to an ever more complex culture, material and conceptual, technology, religion, and science, to name only a few. We have traits in common with all other animals, and more in common with each of the successive taxons leading to our own species. But we, like all the others, are also unique, and we are, as a group, the most complex entities in the known Universe. We, and they, are not “just” anything.

    It’s galling, to see how simple such a gross lie can be, and yet how difficult to detect, while remaining horridly effective. It takes a very clever liar to devise so cunning, so subtle, a misdirection as that. The serpent was said to be the most subtle of the beasts, but he had nothing on Ken Ham.

  11. chris schilling

    @Charles Deetz
    The invisible Creator has an image problem — that’s to say, no actual image at all.

  12. Eddie Janssen

    “In a biblical worldview, we can understand that various creatures share similar characteristics because they share a common Designer who used a similar design throughout much of his creation.”
    If you want to make your God look cheap and intelectually lazy this is the way to go.

  13. “So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.”

    Proof that not only did God design swords, but that God needs to go back to English class. The “turned every way” bit could stand a little clarification. We’re not mind readers, God.

  14. Dave Luckett

    richard, the problem is translation. You are quoting the KJV, which labours the Hebrew somewhat. “Turned every way” is a translation of “hafak”, to turn or to overturn, with a preposition that probably means “in all directions”, hence “spinning” or “whirling”. But this is the only use of this construction in the Hebrew Bible, so the meaning is somewhat arguable. It would almost certainly have conveyed a specific image to a speaker of ancient Hebrew, but we can’t be exactly sure of what that would be, A catherine wheel? One of those baton-twirlers who uses a baton that’s lit at both ends?

    Of course there are people who are not only inerrantists, but KJV inerrantists, daft as that is. Sure there are. There are people who believe that the British Royal family are reptiloid aliens. Some places you only have to shake the idiot tree, and out they fall in bunches. And a KJV-aloon will tell you that what’s written there is the truth, by Jiminy, on account of God told them it was, Hisself, personal.

    Smile, nod and back away slowly.

  15. This is an awfully long article to essentially conclude, “Yes, we’re definitely, definitely mammals, but we don’t want to be.”

  16. @Dave Luckett google translate of the Hebrew may or may not help:

    “As a watchman of God, and he dwelleth before them in the garden of heaven, and as a sign of the cherubim that turneth to guard the way of life:”

  17. If we were made in the image of the creator we’d be invisible.

  18. seidensticker2

    The Hamster said, “we’re just more highly evolved than any other known creature.”
    No, it doesn’t work that way. Evolution makes each species fit for its particular ecological niche. Maybe what he’s saying is that humans are smarter? OK, but other animals are faster or better swimmers or stronger.
    Humans are just another animal.