Hambo Reveals an Incredible Accomplishment

This one was found at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. It’s titled Letter Sent to AiG Highlights Incredible Accomplishment, and it was written by ol’ Hambo himself. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

We recently received a letter at the AiG ministry that I thought I would share with you. It’s a letter from a mom, Jennifer Campbell, who hopes to visit the Ark Encounter someday. [A great ambition!] She wrote us because she’s very proud of her daughter Caroline for an incredible accomplishment she finished last year: [What was it?] Caroline has written out the entire Bible by hand, “word for word, book by book”!

Wowie! For the moment, your Curmudgeon is stunned. But we must go on. Hambo says:

The mother shares that it took her daughter ten years to finish writing out the Bible [Gasp!] and that “we have researched and have found only a handful of people who have done this and none with a disability.” (Caroline has Down Syndrome.)

After that he tells us:

Caroline’s incredible feat has been written about in a variety of places, including the newspaper clipping her mom sent to us:

A copy of the newspaper article is embedded in Hambo’s post. Among the wonders revealed therein is the fact that:

Over nearly ten years, the plucky twenty-eight year old from Beaufort filled 43 plastic binders with 10,493 pages of note paper displaying her crisp penmanship.

More than ten thousand hand-written pages? Your Curmudgeon is in shock! Hambo gives us a few bible quotes, and then finishes with this:

It’s wonderful to see someone who has put so much time and effort into writing out God’s Word. What a great way to slowly study through Scripture, meditating on the truths found in it, from Genesis to Revelation.

Your Curmudgeon is overwhelmed! What’s your reaction, dear reader?

Copyright © 2022. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

8 responses to “Hambo Reveals an Incredible Accomplishment

  1. Hmm, when I read the KJ version of the bible from end to end, it convinced me to drop all interest in religion. Perhaps I should have tried copying the bloody thing.

  2. If I were the all-wise deity I could not think of a more productive use of my minions’ valuable time, other than worshiping me all day. Well done.

  3. Even allowing for the abysmal reasoning of the religious, did Ol` Hambone ever consider why his deity insisted on tormenting children with Down`s syndrome, cancer, etc. And don`t give me that old horse-puckey (wonderful Yank expression) that it`s all due to Adam`s sin.

  4. I don’t suppose this would make any impression on Ham, or his correspondent, but Islamic madrassas produce “students” who can recite the Qu’ran in full, without notes, in the original seventh-century Arabic, despite not understanding it – that is, having committed it to memory as a string of meaningless sounds. The Qu’ran is about as long as the New Testament, so that’s an astonishing feat.

    So is writing the whole Bible out, in full. It’s astonishing – in exactly the same sense. And it’s also just as meaningless, futile and pointless. Ham approves, of course. He has to, for public purposes.

    Nevertheless, I wonder if he had to stifle a certain uneasiness on hearing of this. If people start thinking that they know what the Bible says merely because they have read and written out and thought about every word of it, why, they won’t need Ken Ham to tell them. The last thing Ham Enterprises needs is people who start thinking for themselves about the text. Who knows where that might lead?

    Had Ham any knowledge of history, he might reflect that this was precisely the reason why the medieval Roman church didn’t want the Scriptures translated into the vernacular. But that’s unlikely. As unlikely, in fact, as his being aware of how similar his attitudes are to those of the mullahs who run the madrassas.

  5. I mean … everyone needs a hobby, I guess, and this is less harmful than some.

  6. Nice that the girl was able to do. Something of a challenge for a person with Down’s. Empty work though. If I had done the same, most people would not be able to read the handwriting.

  7. My Fourth Grade teacher set us to writing numbers from 1 to 1000 on those days when she was really looking forward to a shot or five of bourbon. The “winner” got to help her dust the erasers after class, a job we relished in true Tom Sawyer fashion. Must be why I’m so good at math.

  8. Reminds me of William Shanks, who toiled for years calculating the digits of π. Now, of course computers can do such calculations. I think it is time to inform Caroline that we’ve had the printing press for over 500 years.