Category Archives: Evolution

Ken Ham Wants Volunteers — But Not You

This isn’t news, but we’re suddenly hearing about it — first from our clandestine operative in Kentucky (“Bluegrass”), and then we spotted a post about it at PZ’s blog. It’s too good for us to pass up.

There’s something we never noticed before at the website of the creation scientists at Answers in Genesis (AIG) — the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo). The title is Become a Volunteer. It begins like this:

Impact our culture for Christ, as we proclaim the absolute truth and authority of the Bible. Through your volunteer service, you can!

It’s easy to understand that we never saw it before. But what’s interesting is that in a section headed “How do I become a volunteer?” they provide this link: Volunteer Application. That takes you to an amazingly detailed form that would-be volunteers must complete. It says that an asterisk (*) “Indicates REQUIRED INFORMATION.” All the sections begin with an asterisk.

One of the required sections is: “Church Reference & Group Reference”, which demands:

Please provide the name of the CHURCH you currently attend; also, your Pastor’s name, phone number, city & state and pastor’s email address. If not currently attending a church please indicate “None.”

But that’s not the good part. There’s another required section: “Christian Testimony & Creation Belief.” Here it is, in all its glorious entirety:

To be considered you must provide answers to the following questions. After those questions you need to utilize the blank space below to provide two detailed statements. The first statement is your Christian salvation testimony. The second statement is your belief about creation. Applicants that do not answer all questions and do not submit both statements will not be considered.

1. How does one get to heaven when they die?
2. Why do you believe YOU will go to heaven when you die?
3. What would cause anyone to go to hell?
4. Do you believe suffering in hell is eternal?
5. What do you believe to be the main difference between Christianity and other religions?
6. Do you believe the earth is thousands of years old or millions of years or does it matter? Explain your thoughts.
7. “I believe that the ONLY legitimate marriage sanctioned by God and given in Scripture is the joining of one natural born man and one natural born woman. All other unions are contrary to clear Biblical teaching.” Do you agree with this statement or disagree?
8. Please provide a brief statement regarding your Christian Testimony of Salvation.
9. Please provide a brief statement of your position regarding Creation.
10. Please provide a brief statement about your position as relates to the inspiration, inerrancy (100% accuracy) of the Bible as the ONLY true Word of God.
11. How would you respond to someone who said “The Koran or the Book of Mormon are equally the Word of God.”?
12. Please confirm that you have a valid email address with regular access and confirm that you will periodically check email for forms and information from AiG.

There’s nothing we can say, except Aaaargh!! Well, there’s a lot more, but we’re not going to say it. Despite our customary restraint, you, dear reader, may wish to make a comment or two. Have at it, but beware of the profanity filters.

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Klinghoffer’s Wonderful New Video

This one from the Discovery Institute is difficult to describe, so we won’t even try. It’s written by David Klinghoffer, a Discoveroid “senior fellow” (i.e., flaming, full-blown creationist), who eagerly functions as their journalistic slasher and poo flinger. His new post at the Discoveroids’ creationist blog is Introducing The Information Enigma — Intelligent Design in a Nutshell. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

Intelligent design, or ID, may be the most misunderstood scientific idea ever.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! We understand it — at least we understand that because it’s unevidenced and untestable, it isn’t science. It’s pure Oogity Boogity! Okay, that was Klinghoffer’s introduction. Now we get to the good stuff:

That’s why we are delighted today to unveil an easily accessible twenty-minute crystallization of ID’s major argument in the form of a beautifully produced video from Discovery Institute, The Information Enigma.

We’ve omitted Klinghoffer’s link to the video, and we sincerely hope we haven’t inconvenienced anyone who wants to see the thing. Let’s read on:

I’m proud to have drafted the script, but the stars are philosopher of science Stephen Meyer and molecular biologist Douglas Axe.

Verily, it must be a thrill to behold! Klinghoffer continues:

ID stands out from other scientific ideas in a couple of ways. First, unlike other theories, it asks an ultimate question: Does life bear witness to being the product of intelligence, wisdom, purpose? Is your life, my life, therefore potentially also the object of care, even love on the part of a designer standing outside nature?

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, that certainly distinguishes ID from everything in science. But we’ve always known that. Then he tells us another way in which ID is different from science:

Second, while other theories are far more difficult to grasp — general relativity, for example — no one sets out to invert Einstein’s meaning, turning his account of curved spacetime into a sinister parody to scare away independent-minded scientists and thoughtful laypeople. ID uniquely faces squads of activists committed to a rival idea, Darwinism, who specialize in confusing the public, casting ID as “creationism” or “science denial.”

ID isn’t unique in facing vigorous criticism from scientists — see Wikipedia’s List of topics characterized as pseudoscience.

We’re going to skip most of Klinghoffer’s post — it’s rather long because he’s so proud to have authored the video — but we’ll include this next excerpt because it’s inevitable that we’ll see these numbers repeated elsewhere, so you’ll be able to recognize them and know that their source is the Discoveroids:

In the past 3.5 billion years, only 10 to the 40th power (1040) organisms have ever lived. Each such individual organism represents a potential trial of the creativity of unguided evolution. If we grant the exceedingly generous (and highly unrealistic!) assumption that random mutations gifted every single organism in Earth’s history with an entirely new peptide sequence 150 amino acids long, then that figure, 1040, is still just a tiny fraction — one ten trillion, trillion, trillionth — of the earlier figure, 1077, which quantifies the space to be searched to produce a lone functional protein. Sufficient time is just not available for Darwinian evolution to do the job. Not even close.

That’s where we’re going to stop. If you’re interested, click over there. Read it all and view the video. Then let us know what you think.

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Exciting News About Ken Ham’s Ark

Once again, we are indebted to our clandestine operative in Kentucky — code-named “Bluegrass” — for keeping us informed of news about ol’ Hambo’s “replica” of Noah’s Ark. This article appears in USA Today, which is located in several places. Their headline is Noah’s Ark builders expect up to 2.2M visitors annually. They have an active comments section. Here are some excerpts from the news story, with bold font added by us:

The giant Noah’s ark tourist attraction planned for Northern Kentucky will be physically imposing, and according to those leading the charge for the new park it will have an even bigger economic impact on the region.

Wowie — an “even bigger” impact! Isn’t that wonderful? We’re told:

The man in charge of the organization that will run the theme park being built in Williamstown told the Northern Kentucky Chamber of Commerce on Tuesday that the ark could attract between 1.4 million and 2.2 million visitors annually. That could help create more than 21,000 new jobs for the region over the next 10 years, said Ken Ham, co-founder and CEO of Answers In Genesis.

It wouldn’t surprise us of most of those new jobs will be in flood control, because of the expected Deluge of Drool those tourists will generate. Let’s read on:

An announcement on when the park will open is expected sometime in November, and Ham said the park is on schedule to open sometime in late summer of 2016. Answers In Genesis also runs the Creation Museum in Petersburg, and Ham said that attendance there could be boosted by an extra 500,000 annually because of the ark.

The creation business is booming! We continue:

Admission prices have yet to be set for the Ark Encounter, Ham said. But prices probably will be slightly more expensive than at the Creation Museum, where an adult ticket costs about $30.

It doesn’t matter what it costs. If admission were only ten cents, we still wouldn’t go. Or they could charge $100 and the droolers will line up to pay. Here’s our last excerpt:

“After the flood, God said it wouldn’t happen again,” Ham said. “And that’s a good thing, so we don’t have to worry whether ours floats or not.”

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Our guess is that Hambo’s Ark will be just as seaworthy as Noah’s was.

There’s more in the news article. If you’re eager for news of ol’ Hambo’s Ark, click over there to read it all. It’ll either restore your faith, or cause you to abandon hope.

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Creationist Wisdom #622: Scientists Misled Us

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Stevens Point Journal of Stevens Point, Wisconsin. It’s titled Follow Scripture, not evolutionists. The newspaper has a comments feature you can access via an icon below their headline.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote her by using her full name. Her first name is Rosemarie. Excerpts from her letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

I’m tired of hearing on social media that we derive from gorillas, apes and the monkey animals and many call them our ancestors.

Why is Rosemarie tired of hearing that? She says:

When God created the Garden of Eden and made man in his own image, he created the human race.

Hearing that can get tiresome too, but not to Rosemarie. Let’s read on:

Adam and Eve were called human beings.

[*Curmudgeon searches bible (King James version, of course) for the word “human” but finds nothing.*] Rosemarie continues:

We are not created to be primates, which is where apes come from.

Okay. Here’s more:

So many people are being taught evolution in our schools and colleges based on hypothetical theories; they leave the creation story which is first of all in God’s book, the Holy Bible. Read Genesis.

Good advice! Moving along:

Students are reading other books written, most likely, by atheists or agnostics and scientists.

Egad — those wicked books should be banned! Another excerpt:

Scientists have misled us by writing about how the world came into being without reference to Biblical knowledge. It all started with Adam and Eve.

Right on! We love you, Rosemarie! And now we come to the end of her letter:

Get your facts straight and read scripture and have some faith in God.

There you are, dear reader. Now go forth and do as Rosemarie says. She knows what she’s talking about.

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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