Category Archives: Evolution

Curmudgeon Slays Barney the Dinosaur

Barney

We beg your indulgence, dear reader, as we digress a bit to bring some current news into this humble blog. We promise to swiftly return to our usual subject matter, but we couldn’t resist doing this.

Everyone knows about the American dentist who recently killed Cecil, the African lion who lived in the Hwange National Park in Zimbabwe. The dentist allegedly lured Cecil out of the sanctuary and then shot him with an arrow.

The incident has aroused global outrage. Even the Discovery Institute has posted about it — see From the Perspective of Intelligent Design, Killing Cecil the Lion Was an Act of Egregious Vandalism. David Klinghoffer, the Discoveroids’ journalistic slasher and poo flinger, says:

What the Minnesota dentist did was a most egregious act of vandalism. Acknowledging the evidence of intelligent design means recognizing the purpose and artistry in nature. … No human artist will ever outclass [lions]. Imagine seeking to DNA-engineer an improved lion! Perhaps with enhanced nobility?

Verily, only the intelligent designer — blessed be he! — could create a lion. Of course the Discoveroids are furious at the dentist’s act of blasphemy. Well, if the Discoveroids can digress from their usual material to discuss Cecil, we can do the same.

The fury over Cecil is nothing compared to what will happen when the news breaks about what your Curmudgeon has just done. Everyone knows about Barney the dinosaur, the beloved character who has been entertaining children for more than 20 years. But in our humble opinion, Barney had to go.

Why? It’s because your Curmudgeon is an evolutionist. We know that the dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago, and therefore couldn’t allow Barney to live. His existence contradicted Darwinism!

So your Curmudgeon stalked the beast. When we spotted him in a television studio, we lured him away with candy and children’s songs. He followed, smiling and dancing. Stupid beast! Then, when we had him to ourselves, we raised our weapon, shouted “Die, Barney, die!” and let loose the fatal arrow.

We did it for Darwin, and we’re glad.

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Creationist Wisdom #600: Evolution Ruins Lives

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Idaho Press-Tribune of Nampa, Idaho. It’s titled More evidence for creation than evolution. The newspaper has a comments feature.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. He has a great first name — Rory. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

The speculations about evolution continue. More theories, ideas and wishful thinking just keep coming, but there is no real evidence to support this “theory.”

Great beginning, isn’t it? We’re delighted that this letter is number 600 in our collection. Then Rory says:

We have trained up generations on this swill, and we see the results in the shootings, carnage and ruined lives of its adherents.

He’s right — all those senseless shootings we hear about are done by evolutionists! Let’s read on:

Evidences for creation fit far better with the reality we see around us, and most people know this.

Too bad Rory didn’t mention any of that evidence, but he really doesn’t need to, does he? His letter continues:

So why insist upon evolution-only education in our Humanist schools?

Great question! You don’t have to sit there in confusion, because Rory tells us why:

Answered my own question — to produce Humanists who believe man is his own god.

Obviously. Here’s more:

Have you seen what we are doing to each other? Wars without end, suffering, famines and all of it at mans’ own hands.

War, famine, suffering — all because we’re teaching evolution! Hey — the next excerpt is important:

This all has been prophesied in the Bible for almost 2,000 years that the end times would be so.

Yes — oh yes! — it’s all been foretold. And now we come to the end of the letter:

This world is failing. Do you know the Creator, and are you ready for the new world to come?

Don’t even try to debate Rory, dear reader. He’s way ahead of you. Great letter!

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Creationist Wisdom #599: The Theocrat

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Northwest Florida Daily News of Fort Walton Beach, Florida. It’s titled The majority rules. The newspaper has a comments feature.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is James. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

Your July 25 article, “School Board asked to stop prayer at meetings,” warrants a rebuttal.

We can’t find that article, but here’s one in the same paper from a couple of days later: School Board makes no decisions on prayer before meetings. The school board can’t figure out what to do. Ah, but James has the answer. He says:

If anyone feels violated by public prayer, they have the option of excusing themselves. Although it’s taking a beating lately, America is a democracy and a Christian nation where the majority rules.

Yeah — if you don’t like it, then get out! By the way, James never specifically says he’s a creationist, but we think it’s a safe bet. Let’s read on:

The latest research shows that about 78 percent of adults (247 million) identify themselves as Christian. In comparison, the next largest religions in America are Judaism and Islam. Therefore, including the remaining followers of Buddhism, Taoism, etc., atheism in America represents only about 2 percent of the population.

We don’t know where James gets his statistics. This recent article at the website of Pew Research — America’s Changing Religious Landscape — compares poll results from 2007 and 2014. It says the percentage of Christians (all denominations) in the US has dropped from 78% to around 70%. The number affiliated with non-Christian religions has jumped from 4.7% to 5.9%. Those describing themselves as atheist, agnostic or “nothing in particular” has jumped from 16.1% to 22.8%.

The number of atheists in the US is at least ten times greater than James’ estimate, but that’s not important. James is still in the majority — and the majority rules! He continues:

Atheists deny the existence of God simply because they believe that to do otherwise is an intellect defect. I pray that someday before they die, atheists’ self-centered egos will diminish to the point they can accept the reality: Mortal man will never have the ability to comprehend the powers of God (i.e., the universe, the miracle of birth and all the others).

James hopes you will accept that reality — before it’s too late! Here’s more:

Until atheists can accept that fact, they will be stuck with their attempts to explain it all away with, “No, God does not exist, it just happened.”

Yes, that’s a pathetic explanation. James’ explanation is so much better! Moving along:

Creditable research clearly shows that at least half of all scientists and other scholars do believe in God.

We don’t know about those “other scholars,” but Pew Research has this article from 2009: Scientists and Belief, which says:

A survey of scientists who are members of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, conducted by the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press in May and June 2009, finds that members of this group are, on the whole, much less religious than the general public. Indeed, the survey shows that scientists are roughly half as likely as the general public to believe in God or a higher power. According to the poll, just over half of scientists (51%) believe in some form of deity or higher power; specifically, 33% of scientists say they believe in God, while 18% believe in a universal spirit or higher power.

James wasn’t too far off. Then he says:

In fact, there is research that indicates the smarter the scientists become, the more likely they are to believe.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! We don’t know where that comes from. Anyway, this is James’ thundering, theocratic conclusion:

Finally, at what point do we, the 78 percent, tell the 2 percent they can go to hell if they choose to do so, but the rest of us Christians will continue worshiping our God?

Some of the statistics James relies on appear to be inaccurate, but that’s not the important thing — it’s his attitude. Rather revealing, isn’t it?

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Georgia Purdom Proves Adam & Eve

We haven’t seen anything this funny in a long time. It’s found at the Christian Post website, which describes itself as “the nation’s most comprehensive Christian news website.” Their article is Molecular Geneticist Attempts to Prove All Humans Descended From ‘Original Human Couple’ Adam and Eve in New Documentary.

We’ll only give you a few excerpts. Each one is like the punch line to a joke. The bold font was added by us:

A well-respected molecular geneticist who works for Christian apologetics ministry Answers in Genesis is featured in a new documentary where she attempts to confirm, through recent scientific discoveries, that all humans descended from the biblical Adam and Eve.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! The juxtaposition of “well-respected” and Answers in Genesis (AIG) — the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — is absolutely spectacular. But that was only the beginning:

This documentary, titled “The Genetics of Adam and Eve,” displays the validity of the creation story by examining the genetics of all people. Its creator, Dr. Georgia Purdom, a geneticist who has published papers in various scientific journals including the Journal of Neuroscience, recently spoke to Christian News Network about the project.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! The genetics of “all people” have been examined. The genius behind this work is Dr. Georgia Purdom. She’s one of ol’ Hambo’s creation scientists, about whom we recently wrote The Galapagos Islands Prove Creationism.

They quote sweet Georgia who cites “creation geneticist, Dr. Nathaniel Jeanson.” Georgia claims he “clearly shows” that Mitochondrial Eve “lived within the biblical timeframe of several thousand years ago,” and not at least 100,000 years ago, as evolutionists insist.

Then she talks about whether humans and chimpanzees share a common ancestor. She says:

[G]enetics clearly show that humans and chimps do not share a common ancestor. There are many, many differences in their DNA that completely undermine the possibility of shared ancestry only a few million years ago.

Sweet Georgia doesn’t mention the genetic differences exhibited by the millions of species on Earth today, which allegedly descended from the few creatures aboard the Ark during Noah’s flood, around 4,000 years ago. Why is that omitted? Who knows?

We’re going to skip a lot, all of which is amusing, until we get to the very end. This may be the best line of all:

The documentary won’t be broadcast on television or online, but is available for purchse [sic] on the Answers in Genesis website.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! This revolutionary work won’t be published in any peer-reviewed journal. You’ll have to buy it from AIG. Verily, this is creation science at its best.

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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