Brace yourself for some astounding news, dear reader, which we are revealing to the world for the first time today, 01 April, here on our humble blog. Last night, precisely at midnight — that wondrous, magical moment when the month of April began — your Curmudgeon had a transcendent experience! We wouldn’t try to fool you — [*cough, cough*] — about something as important as this.
We were enjoying a quiet evening, and everything seemed quite normal. Then suddenly, we heard a deep, thundering Voice in the back yard: Curmudgeon, come forth!
We did. Our two splendid Dobermans, Argos (a/k/a Aaaargh) and Miss Scarlett, came with us. There in the back yard we beheld an amazing sight. We saw a flame of fire, in the midst of which was a bush, and, although the bush burned with fire, the bush was not consumed.
The Voice called unto us out of the midst of the bush, and said, Curmudgeon, Curmudgeon! We replied: “Here am I.”
And the Voice said: Draw not nigh hither; put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground.
“Wait a minute,” we said. “This is where the dogs …”
Shoes off! said the Voice. Socks too!
We complied. And the Voice said: I have surely seen the affliction of the creationists, and have heard their cry by reason of their ignorance; And I am come down to deliver them out of the hands of charlatans, and to bring them unto a land flowing with logic and evidence. You must say unto the creationists …
We interrupted: “But they will not believe me, nor hearken unto my words.”
The Voice commanded: Thou shalt say unto them …
At that moment, Aaaargh walked over to the burning bush, raised his leg, and extinguished the flame. The Voice sputtered and cried out: Aaaargh!! Then it was silent.
The dogs sniffed around, but quickly lost interest. So your Curmudgeon gathered up his shoes and socks and went back inside. We went out again later, and not only was the bush gone, there was no indication that there had ever been a flame. And so the adventure ended.
Make of it what you will, dear reader. We conclude this post with our traditional guarantee of quality:
Self-Proving Truth Certificate
Everything written by the Curmudgeon in this blog is true. The presence of this Certificate is your proof. Our logic is undeniable.
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