Every year around this time we rant about Daylight saving time. Last year’s rant is right here. As we said then:
In the US, this maniacal mandate is the result of the Uniform Time Act of 1966, when Lyndon Johnson was President. It’s an intolerable governmental intrusion into all of our lives which upsets the natural order of things twice a year, and serves no useful purpose.
Like good, dutiful citizens, we will all obediently comply. Most of you will reset your clocks tonight, so that when you wake up on Sunday they’ll be “correct.” Your Curmudgeon will reset his clocks too, but as we do so we’ll be raising a middle finger to show our discontent.
Aside from the idiotic inconvenience of running around all over the place resetting clocks, the greatest inconvenience is that our splendid Doberman, Miss Scarlett, has a built-in timer to tell her when she should be fed, and she doesn’t like her routines to be disrupted. Truly, this clock-changing stuff is an outrage!
You’ve seen all that before. But today we have something new for you. It’s far more ambitious than this piddling “one hour forward,” and then “one hour back” stuff they’ve got us doing. Your Curmudgeon boldly suggests that we add a whole new day to a week in spring!
Yes, you read that correctly — a whole new day. Let’s have two Sundays for one weekend in Spring, perhaps in the month of May. Let everyone have an extra day off to enjoy the end of winter. There’s no need to have a “correction” six months later, because the days will continue to be numbered as before. If the extra Sunday falls on what would be the 10th of May, so be it. Then the 11th will be Monday, followed by Tuesday, etc.
The number of days in a calendar year won’t be disturbed — not even the number of days in May — just the seven-day week sequence, which will be slightly changed because one week in May will be 8 days long. We can handle that. No correction will be needed, because no one is fanatically devoted to having June begin or the calendar year end on a specifically named day of the week.
So there you are. The only question we have is: What will the extra Sunday be called? Probably not “Sunday” or “Sunday 2,” because some might regard that as blasphemous. And certainly not “Curmudgeon Day.” That’s ridiculous. We’ll leave it up to you, dear reader, to suggest something appropriate.
Anyway, don’t forget to comply with the silliness of Daylight Saving Time. And don’t imagine that by requiring such a thing, the government is doing you any favors.
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