Thanksgiving at RenewAmerica

Buffoon Award

The RenewAmerica website is the eighth winner of the Curmudgeon’s coveted Buffoon Award. What we found there today confirms the wisdom of that decision. It’s titled The Pilgrims and the U.S. Constitution.

We assume from the title that we’re about to read some nonsensical historical revisionism, because we already know that the Pilgrims, who are remembered on Thanksgiving day, had nothing to do with the US Constitution. Until they gave it up when they realized it was killing them, they were practitioners of bible communism — see Of Plymouth Plantation: “Every Man for His Own Particular”. Their brand of religion was responsible for the Salem witch trials. The Founders of the United States were influenced by the Enlightenment, and they repudiated virtually all the Pilgrims’ precepts — see Salem and Philadelphia: A Tale of Two Cities.

Nevertheless, the article at RenewAmerica claims that we owe our Constitution to the Pilgrims. It was written by Jerry Newcombe, described as “an on-air personality/senior producer for D. James Kennedy Ministries.” We’ve also encountered his work at WorldNetDaily. He used to work with James Kennedy, the now-deceased televangelist who made the influential “documentary” Darwin’s Deadly Legacy, based on the book From Darwin to Hitler by Discovery Institute “fellow” Richard Weikart.

Okay, you know what we’re dealing with. Here are some excerpts from Newcombe’s article, with bold font added by us:

As we get ready to celebrate another Thanksgiving, there’s one more thing to be grateful to God for – the U.S. Constitution and the political freedom it has brought. What many people don’t realize is the link between the Pilgrims, authors of our Thanksgiving tradition, and our nation’s founding document.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! If ever there was a “missing link,” the one between the Pilgrims and the Constitution is it. Newcombe would have better luck searching for Noah’s Ark. Then we’re told:

When the founding fathers sat down in Philadelphia in the summer of 1787 at the Constitutional Convention, they had almost 150 years of constitution-making on American soil to draw from. And devout Christians of earlier generations, who used the biblical concept of covenant as a model, were those who provided the precedents.

Aaaargh!! We totally debunked that in Is America a “Christian Nation”?, where we quoted the Constitution:

Article. VI, Clause 2: This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.

Article. VI, Clause 3: The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States. [Note: an “affirmation” is a secular oath.]

That would have horrified the theocratic Pilgrims. We also said:

Hamilton and Madison, who explained the Constitution clause-by-clause in the Federalist Papers, did so totally without scriptural references. That’s because there was no scriptural basis for concepts like a decentralized federal republic, a two-house legislature, limited government with enumerated powers, representation based on population, checks and balances, prohibiting religious qualifications for holding office, allowing secular oaths, and providing that a man-made Constitution was the supreme law of the land.

Let’s read on from Newcombe’s article:

One such document [alleged precursors to the Constitution] was the Fundamental Orders of Connecticut of 1639, which was inspired by a sermon that examined principles of government from the Bible. This covenant, which mentions “the gospel of our Lord Jesus,” was the first complete constitution written on American soil and is the reason that to this day Connecticut is called “the constitution state.”

Aaaargh!! None of that was included in the US Constitution. The most likely reason Connecticut has that nickname is because of a compromise their delegates proposed at the 1787 Constitutional convention, resulting in the two chambers of Congress — see Connecticut Compromise. Newcombe continues:

A covenant is an agreement before God, binding a community together. The Pilgrims, Puritans, and other dedicated Christians engaged in writing about 100 various agreements for self-government, paving the way for the Constitution. The first of these American covenants was written by the Pilgrims before they even disembarked the Mayflower, a month before they even set foot in Plymouth.

Nowadays, a covenant is nothing more than a contract; but the biblical meaning of “covenant” is an agreement made between God and the Israelites. Neither the early colonial charters nor the Mayflower Compact were biblical covenants. The Mayflower Compact does have the phrase “just and equal Laws,” which some say is the first mention of what we now think of as “equal protection,” but the Mayflower Compact was so unimportant during the Revolution and later the Constitutional Convention that it wasn’t even mentioned in the Constitution or the Federalist Papers.

Here’s our last excerpt from Newcombe’s article. He quotes from the Mayflower Compact, presumably because he thinks it proves his thesis:

The Mayflower Compact says: “In the name of God, Amen. We whose names are underwritten, the loyal subjects of our dread sovereign lord, King James . . . Having undertaken for the glory of God, and advancement of the Christian faith, and the honor of our king and country, a voyage to plant the first colony in the northern parts of Virginia; do by these present, solemnly and mutually in the presence of God and one of another, covenant and combine ourselves together into a civil body politic, for our better ordering and preservation, and furtherance of the ends aforesaid.”

This document signed on November 11, 1620 was a milestone in history and a major step in the process of the creation of America.


The Constitution and those, like the Pilgrims, who helped pave the way toward its creation, are blessings to be grateful for this Thanksgiving season. Thus endeth the history lesson. Happy Thanksgiving.

Yes, that’s what the Mayflower Compact says, and that’s when it was signed. It’s part of our Colonial history, and it’s fine to remember the Pilgrims on Thanksgiving day. But they had nothing to do with the Constitution, and we should all give thanks that their weird theocratic ideas are not the law of the United States.

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Thanksgiving at the Discovery Institute

This may ruin the holiday spirit for our American readers, but we can’t resist telling you about the latest at the Discoveroids’ creationist blog: What to Feel Thankful for on Thanksgiving? How About a Universe Minutely Tailored for You.

It was written by David Klinghoffer, a Discoveroid “senior fellow” (i.e., flaming, full-blown creationist), who eagerly functions as their journalistic slasher and poo flinger. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

It’s a Thanksgiving custom with many families to go around the table and everyone has to say what he or she is especially thankful for. This puts everyone on the spot — perhaps that’s the point — and can be an occasion for awkwardness since some may feel more or less “blessed” than their dining companions.

We’ve never had a Thanksgiving like that, but if we were asked, we’d say that we’re thankful not to be a creationist. Anyway, Klinghoffer is on some kind of roll, so let’s see where he’s going:

But how about this? A reason to be thankful that equally encompasses every human being that has ever existed and will ever exist.

Gasp! Can there be such a thing? Let’s read on:

That’s the thesis advanced by biologist Michael Denton in the 33-mintue Discovery Institute documentary Privileged Species: The extraordinary fine-tuning of biology, chemistry, and physics powerfully testifies that the cosmos saw us coming from the beginning [link in the original]. Somehow, everything was set in place for creatures very much like ourselves.

[*Begin Drool Mode*] Ooooooooooooh! [*End Drool Mode*] Klinghoffer continues:

Rather than argue about politics or sports — two other Thanksgiving staples — why not share Privileged Species with your friends and loved ones this holiday?

Will anyone be motivated to do such a thing? Here’s the end of Klinghoffer’s inspirational post:

There couldn’t be a more a persuasive case than the one Dr. Denton makes that human life is special and meaningful, and that its remarkable status in the universe is not just a matter of assertion but compelled by objective scientific evidence.

Hey — this looks to us like some kind of weird War on Thanksgiving! It’s an outrage!

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Creationist Wisdom #638: Science Is Corrupt

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Laconia Daily Sun of Laconia, New Hampshire . It’s titled Science, I believe, will continue to be as corrupt as it is today. The newspaper doesn’t have a comments feature.

Because today’s writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is John. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

Some time ago I believed and wrote the same, that the evolutionary paradigm would not yield until the return of the Lord Jesus Christ.

That’s a perfectly reasonable belief. What happened to change John’s mind? He tells us:

After considerable investigation into the intelligent design movement I no longer believe that that is the case. The scientific evidence supports the intelligent design model. There is a core group of scientists who seems determined to soldier on until the evidence wins the day. The paradigm will shift.

Ah, John now thinks “a core group of scientists” at the Discovery Institute will vanquish evolution even before Jesus returns. Won’t that be wonderful? Let’s read on:

I’m not so sure that this will be the good news for the Christian church that one might expect.

Huh? Why not? John tells us:

Had the paradigm shifted some time ago or even if it were to shift today, even with the eroded state of our constitutional protections today, it might be enough to resurrect real First Amendment protections of freedom of religion. That would be a good thing. But I’m afraid that it won’t happen that way.

We’re confused about John’s hope for a resurrection of “real First Amendment protections of freedom of religion,” but let’s continue reading to learn why he thinks that won’t happen:

Science, I believe will continue to be as corrupt as it is today, and as it has been co-opted for political purposes today in climate change, and in the theory of evolution, so will this science be co-opted to prop up the one world false religion that will require the worship of the false Christ at the threat of death to those who refuse. It will be used to prop up a theocracy like that which conservative Christians have been falsely slandered of promoting; only it will be a false religion.

Wow — science is a false religion that will prop up a theocracy that will threaten death to all who reject it! Here’s more:

Those who support the consensus view today, who are deluded into thinking that they are avant-garde, when they are really merely supporters of the status quo; will themselves become vigorous supporters of this new paradigm as if they knew it all the time. It’s what they do.

John predicts that you, dear reader, will support the new scientific theocracy of death! And now we come to the end:

Many saints will be martyred at this time, and then the Lord will return in the clouds as he said.

Egad! John predicts that creationists will become martyred saints, and not even the Discoveroids can prevent it. Only then will the Lord return.

It’s a frightening vision, but maybe John is correct. It probably won’t be long before we all find out.

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Two Anniversaries Today: “Origin” and Lucy

Today is the 156th anniversary of the publication of Darwin’s Origin of Species in 1859.

As if that weren’t enough, it’s also the 41st anniversary of the 1974 discovery of Lucy, the fossil of a species now known as Australopithecus afarensis. If you use Google, you’ll see Lucy in a progression of human evolution.

Ol’ Hambo just posted a rant about Lucy: Will Obama Celebrate Lucy Today?. One excerpt should be sufficient:

[Today’s] Google Doodle highlights where our culture is headed. Our supposed evolutionary ancestry is increasingly being celebrated — but it’s nothing more than a major tenet of the religion of naturalism. Google isn’t promoting science — they are promoting an interpretation of the past that is a key idea in the atheistic religion of naturalism. But as our culture moves farther and farther from biblical authority, we can only expect this kind of celebration of our alleged evolutionary past to continue, even creeping into the church.

But Lucy wasn’t a human ancestor. She’s just an extinct variety of ape. There is nothing about her to suggest that she’s a transitional form between ape-like and human-like. It’s simply an interpretation of the fossils from an evolutionary worldview.

So there you are. Darwin’s book has been incredibly influential, and Hambo ain’t no kin to Lucy. That’s the news today — at least so far. Feel free to use the comments for an Intellectual Free Fire Zone.

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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