Sex and the Intelligent Designer

You will want to study this one closely, by clicking over to the Discovery Institute’s creationist blog and reading it for yourself, but we’ll give you some excerpts to, ah, stimulate your curiousity. We’re talking about their new blog post: The Human Difference and the Design of Sex.

The author is Geoffrey Simmons, about whom we previously wrote The Discoveroids Have a New Fellow. Here’s their biographical information about him. He’s a creationist MD, and he writes a lot about sex — see Discoveroids: The Miracle of Childbirth. Here are some excerpts from his latest, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

Was sex designed to be fun? [Huh?] That may sound like a silly question [Yes, it does.], but finding the answer might be paramount in knowing how we humans came about, and why. It’s doubtful that human beings would exist if the sex act were compulsory or pure drudgery; and, it’s a no-brainer that we have to reproduce to endure. Animals operate on instinct, but humans are different. The difference cries out for an explanation.

Jeff is going to explain the difference for us. He says:

Before going further, I’ll say only a few words about the intricate mechanics we share with other creatures. Just the steps needed to repeatedly manufacture an ovum and millions of sperm, then deliver them in a reasonable way [Gasp!] to a practical place for the maturation of the egg, require an astronomical number of coincidences in design and timing.

Ooooooooooooh! It requires design! After that stunning revelation, Jeff tells us:

There’s a unique set of pheromones for each species. Mind you how difficult life would be if the buffalo and the prairie dog had identical pheromones [Wow!] or dogs didn’t smell different from cats. What if all bird mating calls were identical? Might the warbler accidentally pursue the sparrow? Trees would be alive with fights, not songs. And no babies.

And what if people and porcupines had identical pheromones? Fortunately, the designer — blessed be he! — has spared us from that nightmare. Jeff continues:

Obviously, procreation can be accomplished under other circumstances, but to be fully human it has to be enticing, gratifying, exciting, memorable, and loving for both partners. [Are you “fully human” dear reader?] It’s safe to say that human intimacy, at its best, surpasses that of any animal, even the most intelligent. Darwinists (like Darwin himself) would likely reply that this is a matter of degree: quantitative rather than qualitative. Really?

Skipping a few paragraphs that we know you’re going to read for yourself, Jeff asks an interesting question:

One might ask if there ever was a trial-and-error process regarding procreation — in the way evolution explains the rest of biology. It’s hard to fathom how that would look. Each step up would have needed new information.

It looks like he’s describing adolescence. Oh wait — maybe not. Let’s read on:

Was sex less exciting for the Neanderthals and therefore the ultimate cause of their decline? That’s anyone’s guess. Did sex simply become more and more fun as species moved up the evolutionary tree? I can’t know this for certain, but I suspect one-celled organisms don’t have much fun reproducing.

We’re only halfway through Jeff’s essay. There are thrills awaiting you in every paragraph, but this is already long enough so we’ll skip to the end. Jeff finishes with this:

Take away any part of this and sex would not be the experience we know. Might we be programmed to get excited, in that human way, about opportunities to reproduce? To me, this all smacks of very complex design that only an intelligent designer could and would design.

This might be the Discoveroids’ best essay ever, and the lesson is powerful: Sex does the job, and it’s fun — therefore Oogity Boogity!

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Hambo Has a Thrilling Story

If you are one of those wretched, hell-bound secularist types — the sort who believes in Darwinism — you probably won’t appreciate this post from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. It’s at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: “We Read Your Book Dinosaurs of Eden … by the End … He Was on His Knees”. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

I recently heard from a mother thanking me for the impact our gospel-centered resources have had on her family, particularly her young son who surrendered his life to Christ after reading Dinosaurs of Eden, one of the children’s books I have written.

A children’s book had that effect? Amazing! Here’s a link to Hambo’s bookstore where you can buy the book: Dinosaurs of Eden. Then he quotes the mother’s letter:

For several years now it has been on my heart to thank you for your faithfulness in boldly proclaiming the truth. [Ooooooooooooh! The Truth™!] Our family has been greatly impacted by your ministry in many ways but one in particular I am compelled to share.

We have four children who have heard the gospel since birth. When our son, K, was seven years old, we read your book Dinosaurs of Eden — it was like watching a lightbulb switch on in him. Suddenly it all made sense to him and by the end of the book he was on his knees, surrendering his heart to Jesus!

Ooooooooooooh! Her seven year old son was on his knees! Isn’t that wonderful? Her letter goes on:

The Holy Spirit used this book to bring understanding, conviction, repentance, and trust. What deep joy to witness! I cannot thank you enough for this gift that so clearly articulates God’s great plan of redemption.

What could be greater than watching a seven year old boy repenting? Her letter gushes on a bit longer, and then Hambo shows us a letter the boy sent, now that he’s 13 years old. You can click over there to read it if you like, but it may be sufficient to know that the boy hasn’t changed his mind. He’s still a believer!

Here’s more from Hambo:

We love hearing from individuals and families who have been impacted for eternity because God has chosen to use this ministry in such a powerful way. All the glory goes to God and his Son for the fruit we’ve seen over all these years! This is what the ministry is all about!

Yup, that’s what it’s all about. Way to go, Hambo!

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Ticket Sales for Hambo’s Ark — April to July 2019

It’s been a while since we posted about the latest official ticket sales figures for people visiting Ark Encounter — the creationist tourist attraction built by Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia. Our last post was Ticket Sales for Hambo’s Ark — Feb & March 2019, so we have some catching up to do.

As you know, Hambo has to pay a safety tax of $.50 (fifty cents) to the City of Williamstown for each ticket sold, and the results are available through the Kentucky Open Records Act (KORA). We’ve been getting that information from our clandestine operative in Kentucky, code-named “Blue Grass,” but we haven’t been posting about it lately. Now we have some catching up to do, so here it comes — four paragraphs of 4th grade arithmetic, which we hope we didn’t mess up.

The Monthly Safety Assessment Report filed by Hambo for April, 2019 reveals that Hambo’s Ark Encounter sold 79,908 tickets that month, and the fee due to the city was $39,554.00. For April of the year before, the number of tickets sold was 67,613, and the fee paid was $33,806.50. So this April Hambo sold 12,295 more tickets, an increase of 18%.

The Safety Tax Report for May 2019 reveals that Hambo’s Ark Encounter sold 90,803 tickets, compared to May of the year before, when the number of tickets sold was 73,353. So this May Hambo sold 17,450 more tickets, an increase of almost 24%. That’s a big increase!

The Safety Tax Report for June 2019 reveals that Hambo’s Ark Encounter sold 124,230 tickets, compared to June of the year before, when the number of tickets sold was 113,901. This June Hambo sold 10.329 more tickets, an increase of 9%.

And the Safety Tax Report for July 2019 reveals that Hambo’s Ark Encounter sold 160,124 tickets, compared to July of the year before, when the number of tickets sold was 135,922. This July Hambo sold a whopping 24,202 more tickets, an increase of 17%.

So there you have it. The last four months have been very good for ol’ Hambo. Each month was an improvement over the same month a year earlier. The droolers are flooding in, so to speak.

As always, we are grateful to our clandestine operative for his excellent work, and we look forward to many more years of having Hambo’s ark to blog about.

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Discoveroids Have A New Accomplice

If you want to dig into the latest mess at the Discovery Institute’s website, you’re welcome to do so. We’re just going to skim the thing, but if it appeals to you, then go ahead and jump right in. The new article at their creationist blog is Biology Textbooks and the “God-Talk” Problem. It has no author’s by-line. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

Another school year is around the corner. Undergraduate biology students will once again take up their textbooks on a quest to explore the intricacies of life. Of course, these students are rarely exposed to a balanced assessment of evolutionary theory, including its empirical challenges.

A balanced assessment? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! That’s what creationists have been after ever since the Supreme Court ruled that public schools can’t teach creationism. Courts have also ruled that the schools can’t teach evolution and creationism — despite the Discoveroids’ futile Teach the Controversy campaign. So now they’re trying again to get a “balanced assessment” of evolution into the schools. This should be fun. They say:

[B]iology students will likely use a textbook that incoherently [Huh?] presents the case for evolution. Surprisingly, this muddle emerges from textbooks’ unprincipled use of theology [What?], of all things. In a recent journal article, “Damned if You Do and Damned if You Don’t: The Problem of God-talk in Biology Textbooks,” Stephen Dilley and Nicholas Tafacory argue that textbooks’ case for evolution falls prey to an intractable dilemma.

An “intractable dilemma” in the case for evolution? We took a look at that “journal article.” It’s in the second issue of a new journal from a website that calls itself the Blyth Institute. It’s not easy to find any information about them, but your Curmudgeon was able to learn a thing or two — from the Discoveroids.

As you know, the Discoveroids have their own, in-house “peer reviewed” journal, BIO-Complexity. If you visit their website, you will find this notice proudly posted:

The editors are please to welcome Günter Bechly and Jonathan Bartlett to the editorial team!

You already know who Günter is, but what about that other guy? The Discoveroids tell us at their BIO-Complexity website, right here:

Jonathan Bartlett is the director of The Blyth Institute, a non-profit organization focusing on research and education in a variety of STEM subjects.

So there you are. Now we know that Blyth Institute is — shall we say — buddy-buddy with the Discoveroids. And — big surprise — the Discoveroids are promoting a Blyth “journal” article urging a “balanced assessment” of evolutionary theory and its, ah, challenges. Do we need to dig any deeper? No, we don’t.

But if you want to read what the Discoveroids are offering today, go right ahead. And let us know if we’re missing anything we should know about.

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