Discoveroids Can’t Give It Away

Two weeks ago we wrote Incredible Free Offer from the Discoveroids, about a free summer seminar on intelligent design being conducted by the Discoveroids in Colorado. The deadline for applying was April first. Naturally, we expected that they’d be swamped with applications.

But it seems that we were wrong. Today, at the creationist blog of the Discovery Institute, we found a new post begging for people to sign up for the thing. It’s titled Summer Seminars in Colorado — A FREE Remedy for Cancel Culture; Applications Due April 1, and it was written by Klinghoffer. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

In the current cancel culture [Huh?] , you can’t open your mouth to express a reasoned opinion without risking everything short of your life. The situation is bad in the media, but worse in academia.

Yes, it’s dangerous to be a creationist these days. Klinghoffer says:

Proponents of intelligent design experienced this well before other did. Considering what to do in light of the threat to free speech, we launched the Summer Seminars on Intelligent Design. The application deadline for this year’s Seminars is April 1. [Klinghoffer’s bold font.]

Wowie — creationists are suffering a threat to free speech, and that’s what their Summer Seminars are all about. Those folks are so brave! Klinghoffer tells us — again with his bold font:

Running June 26 to July 2, the Seminars are FREE and we can even help with transportation costs to the spectacularly beautiful Glen Eyrie Castle & Colorado Conference Center. The instructors are the stars of the ID research community. [Ooooooooooooh! The stars of the Discoveroid movement!] The students — mostly undergrads and graduate students, plus a few professionals, teachers, and professors — are a remarkably diverse and interesting group.

It sounds absolutely wonderful! He continues:

As one of our students last year said at the emotional concluding banquet, the Summer Seminars represent “science as it should be, rather than science as it is.” [Hee hee!] She was grateful to feel “safe” to explore fresh ideas about biological origins, and about the cultural consequences of those ideas. Very different from the oppressive atmosphere of many colleges and universities, here you can openly discuss the evidence for intelligent design without fear of being canceled.

Verily, it sounds like paradise — for creationists. Let’s read on:

This year’s instructors include [list of creationists].

Another excerpt:

For more information and an easy online application, go here for the Seminar on Intelligent Design in the Natural Sciences [Link omitted!], and here for the C. S. Lewis Fellows Program on Science and Society [Link omitted!].

And now we come to the end, with more of Klinghoffer’s bold font:

Do take note of that application deadline, however. April 1 is coming up fast!

Well, dear reader, what are you waiting for?

Copyright © 2023. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

Creationist Wisdom #1,095: Education in Hawaii

Today we have another letter-to-the-editor for you. It appears in The Maui News, a daily newspaper covering the Hawaiian islands of Maui, Lanai and Molokai. The letter is titled Teach biblical creation along with evolution?, and the newspaper doesn’t seem to have a comments feature.

Unless the writer is a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. We’re really not sure who today’s writer is, but her first name is Michele, and that’s all we’re going to use. Excerpts from her letter column will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, some bold font for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!

What would it take to be able to teach the biblical creation account in the public school system along with the theory of evolution? With our federal and state-controlled education system, advocating for this is challenging.

Michele seems unaware that the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution says: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof …”. The state constitution of Hawaii has a similar provision. Ah well, that’s what makes these letters interesting. Then she says:

Whether identifying as a Darwin evolutionist or God-made creationist, beliefs on the origin of life require faith either way. [BWAHAHAHAHAHA!] Both positions have insufficient scientific evidence to affirm definitively their positions. Therefore, it is reasonable to offer both worldviews in public education.

Verily, this is a great letter! After that amazing outburst, Michele tells us:

Every civilization has a story of how the universe and everything in it came into existence. States can choose to integrate those cultural perspectives into their curriculum, like Hawaii’s creation chant or Native American stories.

M’god, she’s serious! The letter continues:

Show the similarities between the different accounts. Remarkably, many of the concepts are compatible. Teach children how to think rather than what to think. Taught equally, as viable possibilities, children can decide for themselves if they want to believe their origins are a cosmic unplanned event with apes as ancestors or created with purpose in the image of God.

Yes, that’s how to teach science — let the children decide for themselves! Let’s read on:

In the mid-1800s, the Kingdom of Hawaii was the most literate nation at that time in history. [Really?] Hawaii’s reputation for exceeding the norm can be furthered. Include in Hawaii’s public schools the biblical and cultural explanations of the universe’s origins. It perpetuates the culture, honors Hawaiian ancestral heroes of faith and preserves Hawaii’s rich Christian heritage.

That’s great advice for Hawaii’s public schools. And now we come to the end:

Foster learning by addressing comprehensively the “in the beginning” options. Hawaii’s public schools are an appropriate place to initiate creation-enhanced curriculums.

That’s one of the best letters we’ve seen in a long time. Way to go, Michele!

Copyright © 2023. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

Self-Published Genius #136: The Bible Is True!

Today we have a new addition to our series about Self-Published Geniuses. This is where we bring you news of authors with a vanity press book in which the author claims to have made paradigm-shattering discoveries, and announces his work by hiring a press release service.

The title of today’s press release — they all have huge titles — is Mark Glaab’s Newly Released “Can We Believe Genesis in an Age of Science?” is a Compelling Argument for the Infallibility of Biblical Truth, and it was written by PR.com — a classy name. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

“Can We Believe Genesis in an Age of Science?”: an articulate examination of the Book of Genesis. “Can We Believe Genesis in an Age of Science?” is the creation of published author, Mark Glaab, who is the pastor of Faith Alive Family Church in London, Ontario, Canada [Ooooooooooooh! A preacher!], where he serves with his wife, Anita. In the past, Mark has also written computer curricula along with software self-help books.

Very impressive! Then the press release says:

Glaab shares, “According to many Christian leaders, early Genesis is a myth or allegory. [Gasp!] Therefore, Adam and Eve never lived, Eve was never tempted, and Adam never sinned. There was no creation week, so God did not make the earth, the stars, the birds, fish, or the animals. This has become the default position of many Christian teachers, ministries, and campuses. This is not just mainline churches, but evangelicals have joined the ranks of doubters in creation.”

That’s absolutely horrible! Glaab tells us:

“This is a reaction to the claims of Christians who work in the sciences [Egad!], claiming that evolution is now an established fact. As a result, creation week is put in the category of myth or allegory, not history. New interpretations of Genesis abound.”

Sounds horrible, doesn’t it? Glaab continues:

“There is just one problem. This may be how people interpret Scripture, but it is not how Scripture interprets Scripture. [What?] Scripture treats Genesis as history. If you are wondering whether Genesis can be interpreted as true history, the struggle is over. Jesus is not just the cornerstone of the church. He is the cornerstone of creation.”

Impressive, isn’t it? Let’s read on:

Published by Christian Faith Publishing [Ding, ding!], Mark Glaab’s new book challenges the complacency of scientific certainty and promotes biblical truth.

We’ve seen that publisher’s name several times before. Here’s their website: Christian Faith Publishing. It leaves no doubt — they’re a vanity publisher. They even let authors pay their fees on a monthly installment plan. With that, and the press release, we know the book qualifies for our collection. Let’s read on:

Glaab shares in hope of promoting a return to the formerly standard use of teaching biblical truths as detailed in scripture versus the modern approach of accepting Genesis as allegory.

So we looked for the book at Amazon — and we found it!

Wowie — it has 332 pages and costs only $19.95 in paperback. What a deal! And yes, Amazon has a “Look inside” feature. Hey — there aren’t any ratings yet. You can be the first!

Okay, dear reader, we’ve given you all the information we can find, and it looks great. Go ahead and buy the thing — and tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent ya!

Copyright © 2023. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

Hambo and the Forbidden Planet

Look what we found at the blog of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. It’s titled A “Forbidden” Planet Is Causing an Evolutionary Rewrite . . . Again, and it was written by Hambo himself. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

I recently wrote a blog [Link omitted!] about an “impossible” new ring system scientists discovered in our solar system and how this ring system is challenging evolutionary assumptions about the formation of planets. Well, two weeks later, headlines proclaimed the discovery of another evolutionary problem [Link omitted!], this time describing a “forbidden” planet that “shouldn’t exist.”

Wowie — the sinful house of science (he calls it all “evolution”) is falling apart! Then he says:

An article summarizing this new discovery states,

He quotes the article:

Scientists have discovered a huge Jupiter-sized planet orbiting a very small star, a combination described as “forbidden” by one researcher because it challenges theories about how planets form, reports a new study.

Why is Hambo all worked up over this? He explains:

Yes, yet again, the evolutionary ideas about planetary formation are being challenged because the evidence doesn’t match what they’d expect. But evolution is such a “plastic” ideology that even when the evidence doesn’t fit, it doesn’t matter — they’ll just change the story to match with the new evidence! [Gasp!] We’ve seen this time and time again. Why? Well, because these evolutionary scientists already believe everything evolved and therefore believe that if something exists, evolution must explain it somehow — so the story just changes to keep up with the evidence.

Barbaric behavior! Hambo would never revise any part of his theory of creationism. It has always predicted everything — right from the beginning. Let’s read on:

This is a good reminder for Christians. We should never start our thinking with man’s words. It’s shifting sand, changing with every new study or new phenomena. If we choose to start our thinking with man’s words, we too will be constantly changing and shifting, blown about by every new thing, and compromising and reinterpreting God’s Word along the way to “keep up” with the ever-changing secular world.

Hambo is too smart — and too holy — to behave the way scientists do. Another excerpt:

No, we must start our thinking with God’s Word in every area (including origins!). God’s Word teaches that all planets (besides earth) and other heavenly bodies were created by God on day four of creation week, just a few thousand years ago. That’s the truth, and no new study of another amazing star or planet is going to change that!

Hooray for Hambo! And now we come to the end:

While man’s word is ever changing, God’s Word is eternal and unchanging — it’s a rock-solid foundation for our thinking! [Scripture quotes omitted!]

There it is, dear reader. Astronomers are idiots, and Hambo has the proof.

Copyright © 2023. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.