Gary Chism, Mississippi legislator
FOR some reason, today’s news brings to mind these lines from a certain movie:
Wherever there is injustice, you will find us.
Wherever there is suffering, we’ll be there.
Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find…
The Three Amigos!
YOU recall the news from last month: Mississippi Creationism Bill: It’s Dead, Jim. That was about the shabby “equal time” creationism bill sponsored by Representative Gary Chism, an insurance salesman who apparently does something to promote creationism year after year.
Although Chism’s creationism bill is dead for this session, our news coverage doesn’t stop there. Your Curmudgeon is a caring, sharing kind of guy, with a deep concern for the feelings of others, so we’ve been wondering how people like Chism deal with such setbacks. We learned that Chism isn’t the kind of man to let a defeat keep him down. No, Gary Chism is a man among men — a real fighter.
We present to you, dear reader, some excerpts from Bill to regulate Miss. strip clubs goes to gov, which appears in Business Week. The bold font was added by us:
Outrage over a 20-foot, anatomically correct stallion outside a strip club in rural northern Mississippi could lead to a new law allowing counties to regulate such establishments.
This is important legislation. Let’s read on:
The bill was filed in response to a strip club called The Pony that opened about three years ago in Lowndes County, bringing with it the shiny silver stallion that locals say is wearing a pink bikini.
[…]
The Pony sits just off U.S. 45 outside West Point — a highway frequently used by sports fans traveling from Tupelo down to Mississippi State University games in Starkville. Rep. Gary Chism, R-Columbus, said he’d receive numerous complaints from residents about The Pony’s horse.
“Since I’ve filed the bill, I’ve gotten a lot of telephone calls and encouragement from pastors and others. But really what started it all was that bikini on that stallion,” Chism said.
You see? It pays to have a reputation for righteousness. When the people are afflicted by the sight of a giant naked horse statue, they naturally think of Chism.
So how did things go in the legislature? We continue:
The discussion on the bill Friday was brief, but a few comments drew snickers in the Senate chamber.
“Are y’all abreast of what’s going on in my county over there?” said Sen. Terry Brown, R-Columbus, whose district includes Lowndes County.
Oh, how disrespectful! Wait, this is good — the article quotes Lowndes County Supervisor Leroy Brooks:
“I don’t drink, but I’m not trying to close down bars,” said Brooks, who inspected the club after receiving calls from residents. “The place was clean. They had security guards. I wasn’t really interested in looking at the women, but they looked OK.“
Our Mississippi operatives inform us that not only has Chism’s bill passed, but it has already been signed by Governor Haley Barbour. Yes — here’s confirmation: Barbour signs bill on strip-club regulations. That news source says:
Mississippi counties can pass rules to restrict new strip-club operations July 1 under legislation signed Monday by Gov. Haley Barbour.
“I’m tickled to death that he signed it,” said the bill’s sponsor, Rep. Gary Chism of Columbus.
So there you are. This has been a deeply inspirational story. And let Darwinists everywhere remember:
Wherever there is blasphemy, wherever there is indecency, wherever people cry out for goodness, there you will find … Gary Chism!
Copyright © 2010. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.
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The Sensuous Curmudgeon 
Let me get this right. An anatomically correct male horse with a pink bikini! I didn’t know that horses were cross-dressers.
Biokid seeks clarification:
That’s clearly the part Gary Chism finds objectionable, the stealth promotion of perversion by the Homintern.
He can’t be objecting to the anatomy on any other grounds, as his activities would indicate he resembles nothing so much as an equine derriere…
Chism is no fool. He spotted that bikini as one of our secret Darwinist recognition signals. My operatives used to congregate at that strip club to sort out their notes before sending them on to me. Now they’ll have to find another meeting place.
“Wherever there is blasphemy, wherever there is indecency, wherever people cry out for goodness, there you will find … Gary Chism!”
Now put your hands on your hips, turn your head, and cough.
Sigh. Instead of petitioning the owner, or going to their city council, or something else lower level, they have to get a fricken State Law? Way to go, representatives of small government.
The Curmudgeon notes
But only because the stallion was too large for the usual Darwinist identifier, the previously-discussed koteka
Gary Chism prefers naked animals? In PUBLIC?
If you can’t get enough of Chism (and naked animals), here’s the music theme from the John Wayne movie: Chisum.
“I wasn’t really interested in looking at the women, but they looked OK.”
Hmmm. Well, maybe he was more impressed with the men? A wait and see thing, I guess.