Hambo Is Upgrading the Creation Museum

You know about the mind-boggling Creation Museum. It’s one of the glorious achievements of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

Ol’ Hambo has some great news today which appears at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: Next Phase of “Operation Upgrade” Begins at the Creation Museum. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

We’re thrilled to announce we’re starting the final phase of the current Creation Museum upgrades known as Operation Upgrade! Starting last year, we’ve been upgrading aspects of the Creation Museum to accommodate for the significant increase in the number of guests we’re hosting and allowing them to move throughout the museum with ease.

If Hambo’s thrilled, we are too. Then he says:

In the first phases of the upgrades, we added more parking, widened hallways in the main part of the museum, added another set of restrooms [Good idea!], and made other modifications to ensure that every guest has a wonderful, enjoyable experience. Our most recent upgrade featured the opening of our 4D Special Effects Theater.

We wrote about the 4D theater in Hambo Masters the Fourth Dimension. He told us:

Due to the updates, this state-of-the-art 4D theater is now able to show 3D films as well as provide special effects that create the “4th D,” such as rumbling seats [Huh?], wind [Hee hee!], and other surprises.

But what about the new upgrades? Here ya go:

And that brings us to the next and final phase of the current museum upgrades. This phase will see the creation and installation of stunning new exhibits that will take into account the state of our contemporary culture, featuring great teaching and interactive experiences to equip and challenge our guests. These exhibits will give the museum a fresh, exciting feel while even more clearly testifying to the truth of God’s Word, especially when it relates to origins.

Ooooooooooooh! The museum will have a fresh, exciting feel! What was it before — cold and creepy? Anyway, then Hambo’s post has a bunch of pictures he describes as “concept illustrations.” All we see is drawings of droolers wandering around. Hambo continues:

Even in areas where we’re doing these exciting upgrades, you’ll notice when you visit that we’ve added teaching signs outside the area so that you won’t miss out on any of the fantastic information.

Teaching signs? Probably something like: “Enter here to learn that Adam & Eve were real people!” Hambo ends with the usual creationist request for funds:

If you would like to be part of these exciting museum changes that will testify to the truth of God’s Word and the gospel [Who wouldn’t?], please consider giving towards these upgrades; gifts to the upgrades will be matched dollar-for-dollar through the end of the year. Learn more and donate at [link omitted].

So there you are, dear reader. Things are moving forward at Hambo’s museum. Aren’t you glad?

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Earthquake Caused by Uranus Predicted

Until some creationism news comes along, we’ll entertain you with some other-worldly Oogity Boogity. We found this in the Daily Express, a national tabloid newspaper headquartered in London (with an active comments feature). Their headline is Earthquake WARNING: ‘CRITICAL’ tremor predicted in DAYS. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

EARTH should brace itself for a large earthquake in the coming days as planets in the solar system align and tug on Earth’s tectonic plates, as an earthquake forecaster predicts a tremor will strike between now and Thursday.

The planets are aligning! Ooooooooooooh! The prediction comes from an “earthquake forecaster,” so it must be true. The tabloid says:

This is because Venus, Uranus [Gasp!], Neptune, the Moon and Mars are all pulling on Earth. The gravitational pull of the celestial bodies either side of our planet could pull on Earth’s tectonic plates, according to the prediction. As the plates are tugged apart, they could cause earthquakes around the globe.

Egad — they’re all pulling on the Earth! And Uranus is involved. This is serious! Here’s more:

New-age earthquake forecasting website Ditrianum, run by researcher Frank Hoogerbeets, made the prediction, saying: “Critical geometry on the 12th and 13th may trigger more seismic unrest and possibly larger earthquakes from the 13th to the 15th”.

Here’s their website: Ditrianum. Their “About” page says:

Ditrianum is a non-profit organization with a primary focus on seismic activity related to planetary geometry. Based in the Netherlands, Ditrianum was founded in 2002 by Frank Hoogerbeets who since childhood has a great interest in the solar system and the planets.

Very impressive! The tabloid continues:

Mr Hoogerbeets claims he uses a Solar System Geometry Index (SSGI) which “is the computation of a dataset for a specific time-frame of values given to specific geometric positions of the planets, the Moon and the Sun”. [Wow!] He added: “After three years of observations, it became clear that some planetary geometry in the Solar System clearly tends to cause a seismic increase, while other geometry does not.”

There’s also information about another earthquake coming this Christmas, but it’s a month away so we’ll let you read that for yourself. The news story ends with a bit of typical negativity from other scientists, who are probably jealous of Hoogerbeets:

But experts have dismissed Mr Hoogerbeets’ claims, saying that there is no way earthquakes can be predicted. John Bellini, a geophysicist at the US Geological Survey (USGS) has said: “We can’t predict or forecast earthquakes. Sometimes before a large earthquake you’ll have a foreshock or two, but we don’t know they’re foreshocks until the big one happens.”

The fools! Your Curmudgeon isn’t taking any chances. We’re going deep underground and staying there until the danger is passed. We hope that you do likewise, dear reader.

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Creationist Wisdom #915: A Commie Plot

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Daily Astorian of Astoria, Oregon. They have a comments feature. The letter is titled Examine the truth about evolutionary theory.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is Carl. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, some bold font for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!

In 1970, when called up by my country, I fought against the Communists. [Good show, Carl!] How ironic that this same mentality, which subjugated a couple of billion people in Asia and Europe, would dominate much thought in America today.

Egad — the commies are taking over America! Carl says:

No, we’re not communists, yet. I’m not saying that, but we are beginning to act the way they do in many situations. For instance, the Left in this nation does our whole country a huge disservice when it silences free speech and free scientific inquiry.

We think we know where Carl is going. He continues:

Students here are not allowed the privilege of examining the truth about origins. [Groan!] Teachers and students are effectively brainwashed by humanistic ideology, or threatened by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) into an inability to truly examine science, if it conflicts with the state’s interest.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Why does the state have an interest in evolution? Stalin didn’t like it. He preferred Lysenkoism. And as we said in Adam Smith’s Invisible Hand and Charles Darwin’s Natural Selection, the theory of evolution is remarkably compatible with free enterprise economics, especially regarding the “invisible hand.” Evolution doesn’t have and doesn’t need a designer. Carl continues:

Just a simple look into the fact that there are many misleading and erroneous statements in evolutionary theory is prohibited by those in power.

What? People can visit the Discoveroids’ website, and Hambo’s, and hundreds of others whenever they like. Let’s read on:

Propositions like punctuated equilibrium, which opposes the neo-Darwinism position, irreducible complexity at the cellular level, transitional forms, coal formation, and radiometric dating methods could all, and should have, the light of truth thrown on them.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! What an ark-load! Punctuated equilibrium is a controversial idea in evolution to explain what seems to be the sudden appearance of new species in the fossil record. It’s widely debated, and not suppressed at all. As for transitional forms, an ever-growing number of them are being discovered — see List of transitional fossils — and we’re not aware of that news being suppressed either. Oh — the news that there are no transitional forms doesn’t get much publicity, but there are good reasons for that.

Also, Carl also wants “the light of truth” to be thrown on coal formation and radiometric dating methods. We assume he thinks it’s all a pack of lies that somehow serves the interests of our commie masters. Anyway, his letter ends with this:

But at last, to do so would remove one of the false legs the Leftist use to silence wisdom.

Somehow, Carl’s “wisdom” wasn’t silenced. The Daily Astorian published it. And as for evolution being a commie plot, we rebutted that clunker in Marx, Stalin, and Darwin. Anyway, we thank Carl for his military service — and for his entertaining letter.

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Discoveroids Fight Viewpoint Discrimination

The alleged controversy over what they call “viewpoint discrimination” (hereinafter VD) isn’t a new issue for the Discovery Institute. It’s a companion to their Teach the Controversy campaign, which Wikipedia describes as claiming “that fairness and equal time require educating students with a ‘critical analysis of evolution’ where “the full range of scientific views”, evolution’s “unresolved issues”, and the “scientific weaknesses of evolutionary theory” will be presented and evaluated … .”

The Discoveroids raise the VD issue whenever creationism — i.e., their “theory” of intelligent design — is criticized in an academic environment. We discussed it in Discoveroid Language Abuse.

Today at their creationist blog the Discoveroids are raising this artificial issue to a new level. Their latest post is New Model Legislative Resolution on University Student Academic Freedom in Science. It was written by Sarah Chaffee, whom we call “Savvy Sarah.” Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

News and commentary are preoccupied with certain subjects — politics and natural disasters, notably. Some other issues are part of our daily lives, though, yet receive little coverage. Academic freedom in science, for researchers and for students as well, stands out as a problem that is important yet strangely neglected. Think about it: On campuses, asking tough questions about a scientific subject is discouraged, sometimes punished.

Hey, she’s right. Why shouldn’t scientific issues like Flat Earth and the Geocentric Universe receive more attention in academia? Then she says:

When it comes to evolution, intellectual intimidation is rife. [Gasp!] This is something that people across the political spectrum should find disturbing. Yet from otherwise very impassioned and articulate commentators, the silence on the subject is remarkable. Truly, it’s a scandal.

She’s right again! All kinds of issues are hysterically advocated on college campuses by student activists, but for some reason, VD in science has been ignored. Having introduced this shamefully neglected topic, Savvy Sarah gives us some big news:

Discovery Institute’s Center for Science & Culture, at least, is not silent. We have now published a new model legislative resolution on student academic freedom. Please read the full resolution here at the Free Science website. Share it widely, and let your representatives, and the media, know that you care!

Your Curmudgeon will not omit her link to this vital information. Here it is: Student Academic Freedom in Science Resolution. In fact, we’ll even quote the important part (skipping all the “whereas” clauses):

BE IT RESOLVED:

1. Students may be evaluated based upon their understanding of course materials, but no student at any public institution of higher education in the State of _____ , should be penalized in any way because he or she may subscribe to a particular position on scientific topics which may be controversial (such as biological evolution, climate change, or abiogenesis).

2. Nothing in this resolution shall be construed as attempting to prescribe the curricular content of any course in any public institution of higher education in the state.

Impressive, huh? It’s similar to the Discoveroids’ model “Academic Freedom” law, which we discussed in Curmudgeon’s Guide to “Academic Freedom” Laws. It even has the same “shall not be construed” clause, which we described as being comparable to a suicide-bomber’s explosive-laden vest being sewn with a tag saying: “Attention Bomb Squad Coroner: The deceased wearer of this garment should not be construed to be a suicide bomber.”

Savvy Sarah’s post goes on and on, telling us how wonderful and essential the Discoveroids’ new resolution is. We’ll skip all that and get right to the end, which says:

I hope that the new resolution will serve as a catalyst for considering this issue as it deserves [Hee hee!] Citizens should press their legislators to recognize student academic freedom as a serious concern. The resolution can be tailored by adding the academic freedom statement from a particular public university in your state. Students should be free to learn and think! It’s a simple statement of the obvious that has been neglected too long.

Your Curmudgeon hopes that this new Discoveroid campaign to end the scourge of VD will receive all the attention it deserves. We’ve done our part. Now it’s up to you, dear reader.

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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