Solar Eclipses Prove Intelligent Design

You probably know about the solar eclipse coming next year, which will be visible in a path across the US. PhysOrg had an article about it a week ago: One year to the 2017 total solar eclipse. They say:

Quick; where will you be this time next year on August 21st, 2017? We’re now just one year out this weekend from a fine total solar eclipse gracing the United States from coast to coast. … The last time a total solar eclipse made landfall over a U.S. state was Hawaii on July 11th, 1991, and the path of totality hasn’t touched down over the contiguous ‘Lower 48’ United States since February 26th, 1979. And you have to go all the way back over nearly a century to June 8th, 1918 to find an eclipse that exclusively crossed the United States from the Pacific to the Atlantic Coast.

They have a map showing the path of totality. Then they add:

The sun is about 400 times larger than the moon in diameter, but the moon is 400 times closer. We’ve actually heard this fact tossed out as evidence for intelligent design, though it’s just a happy celestial circumstance of our present era. In fact, annular eclipses are now slightly more common than totals in our current epoch, and will continue to become more so as the moon slowly recedes from the Earth. Just under a billion years ago, the very first annular eclipse of the sun as seen from the Earth occurred, and 1.4 billion years hence, the Earth will witness one last brief total eclipse.

We know what you’re thinking: No one could be crazy enough to claim that solar eclipses are evidence of intelligent design! That’s what we thought — until we visited the Discovery Institute’s creationist blog this morning. There we found: In 2017, Watch a Spectacular Display of Intelligent Design. It was written by Sarah Chaffee, whom we call “Savvy Sarah.” Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us.

She mentions the coming eclipse, and then says:

In their book, The Privileged Planet: How Our Place in the Cosmos Is Designed for Discovery [Amazon link], astronomer Guillermo Gonzalez and philosopher Jay Richards explain that total eclipses were monumental in science: Einstein’s theory of relativity predicted that gravity bends light and would therefore make stars near the Sun appear at different locations than they actually were during an eclipse — and astronomers observed it.

Everybody knows about that. Let’s read on:

They note that observation of a total eclipse requires two elements: the right planetary and celestial conditions for a total eclipse, and a planet hospitable to complex life such as ourselves. Gonzalez and Richards conclude that “our place in the cosmos is designed for discovery.”

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! The solar system was intentionally designed so that we could learn about relativity. Savvy Sarah quotes from the PysOrg article about the fact that the phenomena of total solar eclipses are peculiar to this era in the Earth’s history, and she tells us:

It’s true. There is a limited time period in which solar eclipses are visible. Gonzalez and Richards acknowledge this — and actually take it a step further. Not only is the Moon receding, but the Sun is getting bigger. But this does not refute the case for design — in fact, it amplifies it:

[Presumably this is a quote from The Privileged Planet:] These two processes, working together, should end total solar eclipses in about 250 million years, a mere 5 percent of the age of the earth. This relatively small window of opportunity also happens to coincide with the existence of intelligent life. Put another way, the most habitable place in the Solar System yields the best view of solar eclipses just when observers can best appreciate them.

[*Begin Drool Mode*] Ooooooooooooh! [*End Drool Mode*] What perfect timing! Isn’t that wonderful? Savvy Sarah continues with the usual list of facts about the size of the Earth, the Moon, etc. that are allegedly essential for the emergence of life — all intentionally designed just for us! This is how she finishes her post:

Mark your calendar for the 2017 eclipse; I’m certainly planning to go. But humans won’t be observing it due to chance or determinism. Rather, a designing intelligence evidently had in mind to make a habitable planet hospitable to scientific discovery — and total solar eclipses seem like a very elegant part of this cosmic and terrestrial symphony.

This reminds us of something we wrote 7 years ago; it’s one of our favorite posts: The Ten Laws of Creationism. Savvy Sarah is using two of the laws we listed there:

1. The Law of Evidence: Everything is Designed; therefore everything is evidence of ID. No evidence supports evolution.

8. The Law of Supernatural Superiority: Whenever two explanations of a phenomenon are presented, one natural and one supernatural, the latter is always better. Naturalistic bias must be avoided.

So there you are, dear reader. And when you observe the eclipse next year, we hope you keep in mind its deep supernatural meaning.

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Strange School Board Race in California

We usually ignore school board elections. There are thousands of them, and it’s not worth the bother. But we found some news about a particularly amusing one in the San Diego Reader, an alternative press paper in San Diego County, California. Their headline is Grossmont school-board candidate claims misrepresentation. They have a comments section, but there aren’t any comments yet. Here are some excerpts from the news story, with bold font added by us:

The war of words between two candidates for Grossmont Union High School District trustee spot has spilled over into court.>

The Grossmont Union High School District has 24,000 students, so it’s an important election. What’s the court battle all about? We’re told:

On August 23, candidate Kevin Conover, who teaches Bible studies and creationism to students through his nonprofit Educate for Life, filed a writ of mandate against his opponent in the race, Elva Salinas, for stating on her ballot statement that she is the only candidate with “actual classroom experience” in the race.

Conover is claiming that contrary to what the ballot says, he does have classroom experience. On with the story:

Quite the contrary [to the claim of Elva Salinas], says Conover in the court filing; he has ten years of classroom experience teaching Bible classes and intelligent design courses to students through his nonprofit. According to the complaint, the Association of Christian Schools International certified Conover as a secondary teacher and “Bible specialist” in 2010.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Hey — he’s qualified! Let’s read on:

Conover’s website says his nonprofit offers home school, online, and seminar classes that defend and explain the Bible. [C]lasses cover topics such as world religions, the reliability of the Bible, how to approach tough cultural issues biblically, creation vs. evolution, church history, and the Bible itself.”

It keeps getting better! We continue:

Among the classes that Conover teaches are, “Created or Evolved,” “Religion: Who’s Right,” and “The Bible Applied,” a class that asks if “America is a Christian nation? It sure doesn’t act like one. In fact, there seems to be an outright hostility towards traditional Christian values! Is this the way it has to be? This class answers the question of whether we can (and should) apply biblical teachings to controversial issues faced by modern day society.”

This man is a school board candidate? Incredible! Here’s more:

Conover is requesting a judge to order Vu [the San Diego County Registrar of Voters] to delete the sentence [from the ballot]. If not, he says the voters will be misled.

We hope the matter gets cleared up. The voters deserve to know about Conover’s impressive qualifications.

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Jobs Available Working for Ken Ham

This may be the big opportunity you’ve been looking for, dear reader. At the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG) — the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia — we found this exciting item: Careers at Answers in Genesis and the Creation Museum.

They list eighteen different jobs they have available, including:

• Housekeeping Associate (3rd Shift – 11:30pm-8:00am)
• Grounds Maintenance Technician
• Accounting Specialist / Cash Room, and
• Dinosaur Costume Actor (Seasonal – Hourly)

They all sound great, but the one that got our attention was Zoo Keeper (Ark), so we clicked on it to see what the job was all about. There we learn:

The Ark Ararat Ridge Zoo is looking for an enthusiastic zoo keeper to work with our diverse collection of animals. The zoo aims to share with guests, the vast biological information possessed by the original created “kinds” and demonstrate how this information has led to the many varieties of animals seen today all in a fun, interactive way. The ideal candidate will have a strong background in animal husbandry, be willing to perform vigorous, physical activities, and enjoy connecting with our guests.

Then there’s a long list of the zoo keeper’s responsibilities. Those include:

• Provide general care for animals such as food prep and hygiene.

• Perform related tasks of housekeeping animal shelters and public areas within the zoo.

In other words, clean up the mess left by the animals. Hey — there’s nothing wrong with that. Noah’s wife had to do the same job on the Ark. Here are more of the zoo keeper’s responsibilities:

• Make necessary repairs to fences, gates and equipment.

• Baling hay & shoveling snow as necessary.

• Other duties as assigned.

It sounds great! But wait — there’s a long list of Requirements you must meet before you can be hired. Here are just a few:

• Ability to perform strenuous repetitive work.

• Ability to repetitively lift and carry bags of grain, hay bales and waste receptacles (50 pounds or more) and help guests on and off the camel rides.

• Must agree with and be able to sign our Statement of Faith.

• Maintains a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

• Regular attendance at a local Bible-believing church.

If you’ve got what it takes, dear reader, there’s a link at the end where you can apply. Imagine the look on your friends’ faces when you tell them that you’re going to be the zoo keeper at ol’ Hambo’s Ark Encounter. But hurry — this opportunity won’t be available much longer!

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Creationist Wisdom #713: Don’t Be Gullible

Today’s second letter-to-the-editor appears in the Daily Journal of Park Hills, Missouri. It’s titled Nobody intends to be gullible, and the newspaper has a comments section.

Because the letter-writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote her by using her full name. Actually, we’re not even told her full name. Her first name is Jennie, described at the end as “a long-time resident of Fredericktown, an eclectic gatherer of stories, information, and experiences to share with whoever would like to read them.” Isn’t that sweet? We’ll give you some excerpts from her letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

Nobody intends to be “gullible,” but sometimes we are eased right into it, by our very own beliefs. We tend to trust that all doctors, ministers, police, scientists, etc., etc. are trust-worthy and on our side; that they are concerned with our welfare and standing by to help us. Not so. Some are one hundred percent trustworthy, and some are lacking.

We can’t argue with that. What’s the point? We’re told:

I can think of lots of examples to take onto the stump with me, but I’ll hold it down to two for this time: that will be medical records and evolution.

That’s a strange pairing. We’ll skip whatever it is that Jennie has to say about medical records. Let’s get to the evolution. She says:

The other thing I want to mention, is the audacity that some people show, to think they know more and better than the Almighty Creator and Savior of all.

Yes — some people are really outrageous about that. Jennie continues:

The rub is that people believe them because they claim “science” is behind them in this lie. Many who buy into the theory of evolution do not bother to read the Bible and see what God’s explanation really is.

The fools! Here’s more:

Some read it and discard the Holy Word, to put their stock in a theory began maybe 200 years ago devised by Charles Darwin.

Darwin published Origin of Species in 1859. Well, that’s almost 200 years ago. Moving along:

Others ignore it, thinking it doesn’t matter which way you believe. However this is very wrong. If this belief doesn’t mean to discredit God, why else would Satan be pushing it so hard?

Good question! Another excerpt:

Of course it matters when you essentially say that God doesn’t know what really happened in the beginning and that He was not the Creator, as He said he was.

Yeah! God said He’s the Creator. What more do you want? On with the letter:

Satan hopes that people will decide if they can’t trust God on that subject, how can they trust Him for anything else; salvation from their sins, help throughout their lives, deliverance from evil that is beyond mortal man?

You gotta be an idiot to trust Satan! And now we come to the end:

Oh yes, it matters. Souls are at stake. This is the reason we need to be concerned and to do whatever we can to stand up for God and His Word.

There you are, dear reader. Do you trust God, or Satan? It’s a big decision. Thanks for the letter, Jennie!

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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