We found another goodie at the website of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. It’s titled Adam and Eve Models Teach Biblical Truths, and it was written by ol’ Hambo himself. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
When you visit the Creation Museum [Hee hee!], you will see models of the first two humans, Adam and Eve, throughout our walk through biblical history. We use these models to teach so many biblical truths to families. Here are some of those truths:
Ooooooooooooh! Here come the biblical truths. Hambo says:
Note that in the photos above [embedded in Hambo’s post], Adam and Eve are middle brown, as no one is “white” or “black.” All humans have the same basic skin color — brown — because of the pigment melanin.
The people in Hambo’s pictures don’t look very brown. Anyway, after that he tells us:
There were only two genders of humans that God created, a male and a female. [Gasp!] This is confirmed by observational science, as men have a pair of XY sex chromosomes and women have XX. There are some so-called “exceptions” to this that affect a fraction of a percent of the population and cause problems. Medical problems such as this exist because it’s a fallen world, and now there can be all sorts of problems in our genetics.
Hambo is very understanding. He continues:
The first man and woman were the first marriage. God created marriage, not the Supreme Court justices or politicians. Many of them are redefining marriage to fit with their own opinions/desires. But there’s only one true marriage, a biological man and a biological woman.
It’s not as if Adam and Eve had any options, but we won’t get side-tracked by that issue. Let’s read on:
The man and woman were equal before God in regard to value, etc., but they were not given equal (same) roles. They have different roles. Marriage is a picture of Christ and the church [Huh?], with the church as the bride and Christ as the head of the church.
Is that a description of your marriage, dear reader? If not, Hambo thinks you’re doing it all wrong. And now we come to the end:
Yes, there’s so much to learn from Adam and Eve because, well, the answers are in Genesis! [That was Hambo’s bold font.] I encourage you to come to Northern Kentucky and visit the two leading Christian themed attractions in the world, the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum. [Promotional stuff omitted.]
Okay, dear reader, now you know all there is to know about marriage. Isn’t Hambo wonderful?
Copyright © 2023. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.
The Sensuous Curmudgeon 
Imagine if Ken went out of business and think about all the people who would be out of a job from the dinosaur-making industry. Although one does wonder: What’s with all the dinosaurs, Ken? What are you, some type of dino-maniac or something?
One man and HOW MANY women? How many concubines? Is a harem allowed? Are eunuchs a desecration of the created sexes? If your wife is barren, why is sleeping with her chambermaid okay to bear children?
As usual, my questions a ten year old would ask Hambo about the subject.
A family is more than a marriage. It involves the behavior of the couple, and the children, if any.
The behavior of Adam and Eve is not ideal, and at least one of the sons was a murderer, and incest was known in the family.
TomS
The Adam’s were quite the family. One son murdered. The other son a murderer.
Oh, but Ham ain’t saying the half of it. This “ideal marriage” deal includes the following “answer in Genesis” at 3:16: “You shall desire your husband, but he shall rule over you”. The same verb (mashal) is used throughout the OT for the rule of Kings over their people, back in the day when the King was da BOMB.
Now, it’s not as though this state of affairs was ever really the case. Husbands might have been dominant in fairly rigorous patriarchies, but any who supposed that they had sovereign power over their wives, or that their word was law, were fairly quickly disabused of the notion. But however it might have been considered as some sort of theoretical ideal, even in the west, even up to a couple of generations ago, it sure as shootin’ ain’t so now. Love and honour, sure. Obey, nyet, tovrarisch.
That fact must be apparent even to Ham, notwithstanding the echo chamber and hall of mirrors that passes for his mind. Ham must be aware that things have moved on, and that not even the women’s committees of the little white churches are backing his play, here.
So why’s he saying this, knowing for dead certain that if any of his flock thinks about it for an instant, they’ve got to have an “uh-oh” moment?
Two reasons: One, Ham knows that the rank and file won’t think about it, not even for an instant. And two, if it does occur to any of them that there’s a disconnect with reality going on here, he knows that they will prefer the fantasy. This, they will say to themselves, is how it ought to be.
Or at least, those whom Ham wants in his flock will say that, if the question should ever come up. Anybody who says, “Hey, wait a minute, here” is not someone Ham wants in his flock. People like that are nothing but trouble.
Of the Adam’s Family, docbill1351 notes:
…But…but…they were home-schooled!…
Also they cursed everything on Earth forever and banned everyone from Eden with the angel and the flaming sword flip-floppety spinning round and round. Nice marriage.
No wonder nobody found Eden. Everyone stops in their tracks and gawks at the flaming flippy floopy sword.
There is a list of the most visited religious sites in the world href=”https://www.travelandleisure.com/attractions/worlds-most-visited-sacred-sites”>Travel & Leisure: World’s Most Visited Sacred Sites from 2012.
No. 3 on the list, and first Christian site, is the Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico CIty.
One may be forgiven in thinking that various sites in the Holy Land are important, too. Not to mention several places in Rome and famous pilgrimages, like Canterbury and Santiago.
TomS
Sorry for messing up the link. Trying again
Travel & Leisure: World’s Most Visited Sacred Sites
TomS
@TomS
I’m surprised Mecca is way down there at #30.
Ham’s appointed heir tells us to abused wives should submit to their husbands. Also, incidentally, concern about climate is ungodly, because rainbpws: https://paulbraterman.wordpress.com/2023/09/25/answers-to-everything-according-to-god-according-to-answers-in-genesischief-ministry-officer/
Old Hambo is pulling a fast one! Adam and Eve weren’t married. There is no mention of Adam and Eve getting married. No, Adam and Eve lived in SIN!! By definition the seductive Eve used her feminine wiles to seduce poor, hapless Adam into gnawing the Forbidden Fruit while Eve moaned, “Oh, God! Oh, God! Yes, yes, YES!”
Hambo elaborates further:
The image that comes to mind is “reverse cowgirl.” I’ll leave it as an exercise for the student to look that up.
@docbil1351
Adam and Eve were related, very closely, closer than siblings or as parent and child. Thus their union was incest. As were the next generation of unions.
TomS
Creationist apologists point out, and I have to admit that they are right, that the prohibition of incest came considerably later.
Creationists maintain that each created kind had within it all the necessary genetic diversity to give rise to numerous species within each kind. Presumably much the same could be said of Adam.
But what puzzles me most is how Eve, created from male tissue, was not herself biologically male.
There was a very nasty strand of 19th-century creationism that got round the Cain’s wife problem by maintaining that Adam and Eve were not the only created humans. You can see what that would lead to, and it did.
Part of the complex information embedded in the DNA code was that if the embedded DNA computer code was embedded in the rib then the results of code duplication would be a female DNA upgrade.
There is also the story about Lilith. But that’s not canonical.
@Dave Luckett, indeed. And I never could work out just where the Nephilim fitted into the scheme of things
@Paul Braterman
OK, so the prohibition against incest came later.That means that Adam and Eve are not the ideal, according to the later standards.
BTW, when did the prohibition against fatricide come?
And what are we to think of the laws and parameters of nature, and of truth, being unchanging?
TomS
Given that Eve was only created after God acknowledged he had made a mistake it is difficult to see what his idea about mankind was before he found out he had made a mistake.
Was Adam to play pinnball for all eternity?
#Paul Braterman
About the Nephilim …
Maybe the laws of Baraminology were not fixed at first. What wild things could have been going on in the world of life. Like evolution, apoptosis, new kingdoms and domains, extinctions. We have mention of Nephilim, but there is the variation of life unmentioned.
Oh, the anonymus of 1:58 is Eddie Janssen
God made a mistake with the two genders, i.e. the gender that goes around starting wars and barfights or measuring fish and whatnot. I forget which gender that one is.
Well, we do have the word of Jesus Himself that there is no marriage in Heaven, (Matthew 22;30). If Heaven is ideal, then it must follow that marriage does not fit the ideal. On Earth, it is an acceptable compromise with our animal nature, but no more. You’ll remember that Paul wrote that it is better to marry than to burn, but that he did well without it. (Or words to that effect.)
And marriage, from the late and extemporised creation of Eve, had not been the plan from the start, and was a fadge, a work-around, at best.
So no marriage is “true” in the sense of ideal, All marriage whatsoever is deprecated by the words of Ham’s holy book and by the very words of the man he thinks is God, So how does Ham get off on calling some marriages “true” marriages, and others not? Who is he to judge?
I’ll tell you who. Ken Ham has long since elevated himself to the rank of prophet, and his words to the same thing as the words of God. That is, Ken Ham thinks he is God.
Maybe sex outside marriage is a sin. Maybe even thinking about Doing It is also sinful, requiring repentance and the intervention of Grace, as Jesus said. Sure. But hubris on the scale of Ken Ham’s is sin on quite another scale. This is pride to offend the gods. Or God. And Ham clearly has no inkling of that, for one of the effects of overweening pride like his is that it blinds.
Oh, pshaw, he doesn’t deserve Hell. Nobody does. But he does deserve a fall. I can only hope it arrives.
“I encourage you to come to Northern Kentucky and visit the two leading Christian themed attractions in the world, the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum.”
What are the odds that the most asinine themed attractions in the world would be the most religious themed attractions. What are the odds of that happening. I’m seeing a pattern here. For example another asinine museum, the asinine museum of the Bible, is also religiously wingnut. What are the odds.
I mean it’s practically a prerequisite that an asinine museum needs to be religious for it to reach perfect asinine status. I could be wrong but I don’t actually know of any asinine museums that aren’t religious.
“They have different roles. Marriage is a picture of Christ and the church, with the church as the bride and Christ as the head of the church.”
You know how when you’re watching “Downfall” and you’re like, what the hell language are these people talking? Can’t understand a dam word. Well, when Ken speaks we don’t have to guess what language he’s talking. It’s 100% caveman talk all the way guaranteed.