Creationist Wisdom #790: The Preacher’s Evidence

Today’s letter-to-the-editor (it’s a column, really) appears in the Post-Crescent of Appleton, Wisconsin. It’s titled If believing in God is kooky, count me in, and the newspaper has a comments feature.

Unless the letter-writer is a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name — but today we’ve got a preacher. It’s John Brandt, but his church isn’t mentioned. At the end of the column we’re told only: “Pastor John Brandt is a resident of New London.” We’ll give you a few excerpts from rev’s column, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

The rev begins by mentioning an earlier article in that paper by Patrick Durkin: How can lawmakers ignore CWD threat? “CWD” is chronic wasting disease. Durkin criticizes his state’s legislature for something they’ve done, but that’s not relevant here. The rev says:

Addressing the subject of Chronic Wasting Disease, Mr. Durkin stated that he hoped the representative from Kewaskum was our “lone lawmaker so detached from science, fossil records, human history and reality itself to believe the Earth is 6,000 years old.” He went on, “believe such malarkey … Surely, they are not that kooky.”

Aha — Durkin said the legislator was a drooling creationist. The rev is deeply offended. He says:

Know that such statements apply to all Bible-believing Christians. We are “kooky.” Hooray! … Now, I am not interested in a debate about the age of the earth. However, Mr. Durkin must think that his information is superior. I’ll let you decide.

Okay, rev, we’ll decide Please present us with your information. The rev obliges, and tells us:

I have written evidence, and he has theoretical evidence, all of which is only assumption. It all depends on what you are willing to believe. Consider that only documented evidence counts.

We didn’t know that “only documented evidence counts.” There is much to ponder here. The rev helps us:

The only written document with such information is the Bible. We Bible-believers have written proof of what we believe and teach. The Bible has no less than Jesus’ witness, “In six days God created the heavens and the earth.”

Impressive! The rev continues:

I know what Mr. Durkin is likely to say. I’m quite sure that those answers will be the same as those given by the unbelievers of the world of science, scholasticism and human assumption already for centuries. But without empirical evidence, science must “create” time, with no beginning, just an accident. And in the process, imagine a beginning, like, “Wow! That was a big bang!” God put it this way, “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”

Well, dear reader — that neatly disposes of the big bang theory. Let’s read on:

All the information we need is in the Bible, but not the details. … “Faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1) Listening to God’s Word with an open heart opens the way to saving faith. Reading it with preconceived notions prevents faith. What God is simply saying is, “This is the truth. Believe and be saved.”

That makes sense. Another excerpt:

By the way, the Bible does reveal many ages of early humans in the Bible, (Genesis 6). Work the numbers and you will come up with around 6,000 years total. Those numbers are as true as all the other words God reveals in the Bible.

No doubt about it. And now we come to the end:

I can only pray that everyone, including Mr. Durkin, might one day be blessed to say, “God said it; I believe it; and that’s all there is to it.” May God bless you, Mr. Durkin, and us all.

Verily, those are words to live by. Great letter, Rev!

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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13 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #790: The Preacher’s Evidence

  1. “The only written document with such information is the Bible.”
    And here’s where it really comes from, folks: the arrogant assumption that Christians, and only Christians, matter.

    Alternate origin stories for the Earth, and there are literally thousands of them, are quantum – they both exist and don’t exist because they’re really there when talking about the similarities between the Genesis account and other accounts, but they aren’t there when it comes time to choose which one of the thousands of origin myths is really real.

  2. Yeah, Dweller – but they weren’t written by Jesus. Duh.

    The Dutch creacrap brothers and sisters have something special today.

    “A chip under your skin – a mark of the Beast from Revelation 13?”
    Now that’s something to ponder in your otherwise useless weekend. Yes, that Dutch guy is an engineer.

  3. Likely this church:

    The cult, excuse me, denomination it is affiliated with is described this way elsewhere on this site: “The synod is conservative in theology and is committed to the infallibility and inerrancy of the Word of God.”

    I smell creationism.

  4. Ah, yes, Appleton, Wisconsin–which gave us Senator Joseph R. McCarthy, and is now home to the HQ of the John Birch Society….

  5. Michael Fugate

    “It all depends on what you are willing to believe.”
    Why yes it does.
    “The Bible has no less than Jesus’ witness, “In six days God created the heavens and the earth.””
    I don’t think the Jesus of the Gospels ever said this. Notice how the rev omits any scriptural reference to this supposed direct quote.

  6. can only pray that everyone, including Mr. Durkin, might one day be blessed to say, “God said it; I believe it; and that’s all there is to it.” May God bless you, Mr. Durkin, and us all.

    But the creation account isn’t dictated directly by god in the Bible; it’s narrated in the third person in a book purportedly written by a self-exiled Egyptian prince. (The Bible is curiously vague about how Moses found the one particular Hebrew woman who just happened to be his birth mother, when according to his origin story he was spotted floating down the Nile by the Egyptian princess who became his adoptive mother. Could it be that the whole story is fiction? But never mind.)

  7. How can a pastor get away with misquoting the Bible?

  8. But then again, TomS, would it help him much if he quoted it correctly?

  9. “How can a pastor get away with misquoting the Bible?”
    Because his audience has never learned to use their brains independently.

  10. @Michael Fugate

    John 5:46-47 (“For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?”) is interpreted by (some? many? most?) “Christians” as Jesus saying that all the stuff “written” by Moses was true.

    And in Exodus 20:11, Moses “wrote” “For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.”

    So Jesus says Moses says six-day creation courtesy of “God”, and it’s ALL true — turtles alla way down.


  11. Did the Rev happen to mention that his written evidence, well, we don’t know who the authors were or when they wrote their documents or where they wrote them? We don’t know what the original manuscripts said. We do know from the fragments of manuscripts we do have (copies of copies, of copies, at a bare minimum) that these texts disagree with one another often substantially so. So, as evidence, it is kind of slim.

    And based upon his claim I can claim that hobbits are real. I have a book don’t you see and one hobbit in particular, quite famous, was Frodo Baggins, who was short of stature and had hair atop his feet and was quite fond of mushrooms. We know this because all hobbits were vertically challenged and stout eaters. They also wore no shoes. I have all of these citations that point out these things, so it must be true.

  12. As far as I know, we have no reason to believe that there are always any “original manuscripts”. The texts that we have do, on occasion, speak of some manuscripts, but is that so for every book of the Bible? For each of the Psalms? For the entirety of the book of Genesis; the Book of Jeremiah; the Book of Isaiah?
    Even of for some books written in the 19th or 20th century there can be doubts about the “original manuscripts”.

  13. Eric Lipps:
    If you are going to complain, at least make it valid.
    Exodus is clear that Moses’ sister was keeping an eye on the basket floating in the Nile, and when the princess found Moses, the sister volunteered Mom as a wet-nurse.