Today we have a new addition to our series about Self-Published Geniuses. This is where we bring you news of authors with a vanity press book in which the author claims to have made paradigm-shattering discoveries, and announces his work by hiring a press release service.
The title of this press release is No Matter How Wide-Spread, God Has Influenced Every Aspect of Human Existence. Like so many others in our collection, it was issued by Cision PRWeb, which says it’s “the leader in online news distribution and publicity.” Here are some excerpts from the press release, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
Author Peter Walton testifies [Ooooooooooooh! He testifies!!] that God is the creator and designer of the universe in God the Creator of Science, Technology and the U.S. Coast Guard ($16.99, paperback, 9781662827730; $7.99, e-book, 9781662827747).
God created the U.S. Coast Guard? Amazing! Let’s read on. The press release says:
In this three-part volume, Walton testifies [Hee hee!] to God’s greatness in a few different ways. In part one, he combats evolutionary theory [Hooray!] with evidence that God created everything, including science and technology.
Amazing! The author has actual evidence that God created everything. After that stunning information, the press release tells us:
In part two, he honors God’s presence in the many U.S. Coast Guard rescues, performed “so that others may live.”
Very persuasive! The press release continues:
Finally, he wraps up with four fictional and editorial articles on topics as eclectic as the Shroud of Turin and the Voyager spacecraft.
What a book! You gotta admit, dear reader, this one is unique! Let’s read on:
“All credit for this book goes to the Great I Am. [Wowie!] Thank you, God, for using me to promote your kingdom,” said Walton.
We like to see humility in an author. Oh, the last paragraph of the press release tells us something we needed to know:
Xulon Press, a division of Salem Media Group, is the world’s largest Christian self-publisher, with more than 15,000 titles published to date.
Very nice! They come right out and tell us that they’re a vanity publisher. With that, and the press release, we know the book qualifies for our collection.
So we searched for the book at Amazon, and we found it! Wowie — it has 257 pages and it costs only $16.99 in paperback. What a deal! And yes, Amazon has a “Look inside” feature. Hey — there are no reviews yet. You can be the first!
Okay, dear reader, that’s all we know. Go ahead and buy the thing — and tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent ya!
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