Today we have a new addition to our series about Self-Published Geniuses. This is where we bring you news of authors with a vanity press book in which the author claims to have made paradigm-shattering discoveries, and announces his work by hiring a press release service.
The title of this press release is Discover The Absolute Assurance That God is Real From a Refreshing Scientific Perspective. Like so many others in our collection, it was issued by Cision PRWeb, which says it’s “the leader in online news distribution and publicity.” Here are some excerpts from the press release, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
Author Greg Van Arsdale motivates readers to strengthen their faith while better understanding the truth of God’s existence in Beyond Mere Belief ($17.99, paperback, 9781662838347; $8.99, e-book, 9781662838354).
We don’t know what all those digits are, but here’s a link to the book at Amazon: Beyond Mere Belief. They have a “Look inside” feature, and no customer reviews. The thing costs $7.36 in paperback. Okay, back to the press release, which says:
Van Arsdale’s book is not your typical work of Christian nonfiction. It is an insightful and stimulating work which blends two seemingly polar opposite fields together into one. Through deep Biblical and scientific research, he shares his discovered evidence that proves the existence of God. [Gasp!]
This is an amazing book! After that stunning information, the press release tells us:
This book aims to strengthen one’s faith by bringing readers beyond mere belief to a deeper, more mindful understanding of Scripture. [Ooooooooooooh! Beyond mere belief!] Van Arsdale does not use natural phenomena to explain God’s works. Instead, he uses science to understand the supernatural and prove that ethereal energy is real but not atomic in structure.
That, dear reader, might be the most fantastic paragraph your Curmudgeon has ever seen. The press release continues:
By applying this revelation to theology, Van Arsdale produces for the first time in history, solid evidence of the soul [Wow!], the spirit, physical descriptions of what sin and salvation are [Physical descriptions?] , the light of God, Heaven, and Hell, among a host of other current abstracts.
This book is fabulous! Let’s read on:
The author also introduces additional new insights, fresh ideas to resolve dozens of Biblical questions ranging from the darkness of the cross, creation, the end of time, the role of Israel, and more. By presenting the topic with a “question and answer” format, he up front addresses any skepticism among readers, thus allowing him to explain each subtopic with ease.
Incredible! Another excerpt:
Greg Van Arsdale has been a student of the Bible for over 50 years. [Wonderful!] He was a physics major in college where the seed of a new breed of science was planted from his Lord. [Huh?] Recruited as an instructor at the US Naval Nuclear Power School, he continued on his singular path of understanding in his spare time, listening and learning from God. Soon the new science blossomed to completion and its application to the Bible began, yielding incredible insights no one else had — this time in theology.
We are truly amazed. There’s a bit more to the press release, but by now you’re interested enough to read it all for yourself — several times! Oh, wait — we need to be certain that this incredible book belongs on our list. The press release addresses that issue right at the end:
Xulon Press, a division of Salem Media Group, is the world’s largest Christian self-publisher, with more than 15,000 titles published to date.
So there you are. Now go learn something for once in your hell-bound life. Buy the book — and tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent ya!
Copyright © 2022. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.