We present to you, dear reader, a letter-to-the-editor titled A prodigal nation wallowing with the hogs, which appears in the Shreveport Times of Shreveport, Louisiana. We’ll copy most of today’s letter, but we’ll omit the writer’s name and city. We’ll also add some bold for emphasis, plus our usual Curmudgeonly commentary between paragraphs. Here we go:
Most of us are familiar with the biblical story of the prodigal son. A grown son, living comfortably with his father, begins to question the benefits of that life and asks for his inheritance. His father gives it to him. He promptly wastes it on riotous living. A famine comes and he winds up scrambling among the pigs for food.
We’re off to an exciting start! But what does this have to do with The Controversy between evolution and creationism? Let’s read on:
The prodigal son’s fall began when he abandoned the values of his father. He saw something attractive outside his father’s house. He pursued debauchery and riotous living. He wound up wallowing with the hogs.
Similarly, we have abandoned the values of our fathers and our forefathers. Those values were rooted in their belief in God. Our Congress, on Sept. 12, 1782, passed a resolution praising the publication of the first American edition of the Bible in English. In that same resolution, Congress recommended “this edition of the bible to the inhabitants of the United States.” Wow, have we come a long way!
A resolution of Congress? Not even a law? Hey — the letter-writer says this was back in 1782. That was in the days of the Articles of Confederation, years before the Constitution was drafted. That’s it? We continue:
Today, high school biology teachers tell our children they evolved by chance from an ape-like ancestor and all living things similarly evolved from a common ancestor that was birthed accidentally, somewhere, somehow, from inorganic matter. In reference material recommended by the Louisiana Education Department as an aid to biology teachers, our National Academy of Sciences tells our children that this atheistic explanation of man’s origin should be treated as fact, not theory.
The letter-writer is worrying needlessly. Louisiana’s legislature and creationist Governor are struggling to fix that. See Who Sucked the Brains out of Louisiana? Here’s more:
If atheistic evolution is fact, our churches should sell their property and shut up. If the God they preach didn’t create all that is, he is not God.
Whoa! Getting a bit carried away here. Moving along:
If teaching that something other than God produced all living things is somehow beneficial to our children, bring biology teachers into our churches and give the adults the benefit of that instruction. Have the local board members who regularly sit in the pews explain to the congregation why teaching children a godless explanation for their existence is beneficial.
Rather than do any of these things, churches wallow with the atheist hogs.
The letter-writer appears to be in deep despair. But wait — it gets worse:
We have abandoned “Father Knows Best,” “Leave It To Beaver” and “I Love Lucy.” Young and old alike are now entertained by and enthralled with reality shows starring young sluts who achieved instant celebrity status by releasing sex tapes on the Web. Public drunkenness, drug use, promiscuous sex and homosexuality now characterize our “American idols.”
We wallow with the lascivious hogs.
What is to become of us? This is how the letter ends:
The prodigal son bottomed out and came to his senses. He said, “I will arise and go to my father and will say unto him, father, I have sinned against heaven and before thee and am no more worthy to be called thy son, make me as one of thy hired servants.” He remembered his father’s values, his father’s God and recognized his own sin. That story had a happy ending.
[Writer’s name and city can be seen in the original.]
What can we say? How about: Oink! Oink!
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