We have another fine addition to our series about Self-Published Geniuses, where we bring you news of authors with a vanity press book in which the author claims to have made paradigm-shattering discoveries, and announces his work by hiring a press release service.
This author’s press release is issued by PR.com. The press release is titled Amazing Bible Timeline Highlights Math Supports Creationism.
Unlike the prior entries in our series, this one isn’t about promoting a book — it’s a wall chart or something. The press release says, with our bold font:
Keeping apprised of biblical timeline information to keep on the cusp of new developments a company based in Duck, West Virginia named Bible Charts and Maps, which publishes the Amazing Bible Timeline, has recently underscored its founder’s informative announcement.
Duck? There’s a town named Duck? Apparently so. They have a brief entry in Wikipedia: Duck, West Virginia. It’s an unincorporated community in Clay County, West Virginia, Okay, but who is the “author” of today’s work? That’s coming next:
A noted mathematician herself Margaret Hunter, Owner of Bible Charts and Maps makes clear cut assertions to support creationism in one of the many informational pages on the company’s website.
As we said, this one isn’t about a vanity published book, but a self-published chart. That’s okay, it fits in with our collection. What “clear cut assertions” is Margaret making? We’re told:
To that end, one recent posting on a page entitled “Less Than 1 Chance in 479 Million Moses Made Up The Creation Account” has sparked particular interest.
We can’t put this off any longer. Here’s the mathematician’s website: Amazing Bible Timeline with World History. Right there on the first page you can see a woman (the great mathematician herself?) standing in front of their amazing timeline wall poster. It reminds us of a similar product sold by ol’ Hambo — see Ten-Foot Wide Creationist Wall Chart. Which one is better? Perhaps it’s best to get one of each. Let’s read on:
Hunter recently spoke to the post that has garnered so much attention of late, “We’re particularly interested in the twelve events stated in the Biblical account of creation. Science has actually confirmed that these events are not only correct but they are stated in the correct order. In my post on AmazingBibleTimeline.com I put forth a question. Without prior scientific knowledge, what are the chances Moses guessed the correct order of Earth’s evolution or creation when he wrote Genesis?”
Great question! What are the chances? From the name of her post, we assume it’s roughly 1 in 479 million. You can check it out for yourself by reading the mathematician’s article: Less Than 1 Chance in 479 Million Moses Made Up The Creation Account. We’ve glanced at it. So many numbers! The math is far too complex for your humble Curmudgeon! The press release continues:
Sparking not only interest but a fair amount of controversy as is always the case surrounding creationism statements, Hunter looks for the simplest explanation on the site by using her ample deduction skills.
She must be the greatest mathematician in the world! Here’s the last paragraph, which is sure to get you to buy the chart:
The Amazing Timeline lays out the entire chronology of man from Adam to the current day which includes both Bible and world history. The original edition was printed in 1931 and has been updated every decade since 1990. The 2013 printing adds the most important secular history dates through 2012 with additional dates for Christian church, Africa and Asian history.
Don’t settle for an old one. If you have an earlier edition, toss it out and buy the latest version. The cost is only $19.97. And if you buy two, the second one costs only $10.00 more. Your Curmudgeon is pleased to have brought you this important news from Duck.
Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.
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The Sensuous Curmudgeon 
None of the links work for me.
They all work for me.
Inevitably someone will mention “Crock-o-Duck” in the comments. So here it is to get it over with and we can get back to heaping scorn and derision on the great mathematician Margaret Hunter.
“The original edition was printed in 1931 and has been updated every decade since 1990.”
Two updates in 9 decades? By the logic of mathematician Margaret Hunter, her poster has a chance of about 1 in 497 million of ever being updated again.
How about this for amazing chances:I was on the bus coming home from college and in one particular spot by a beach I saw three silver cars parked in a row. Their number plates where M678 OPN, EO02 GUI and YF02 GKD!!! What are the chances of that happening again, in that order in that particular spot and all the same colour car! Out of all the parking spots and all the cars, all the different colours and number plates combinations at the exact time I was travelling past. The odds must be less than 1 in billions. The only logical outcome is that God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit parked those cars there for me to see.
Methinks Moses was playing with a loaded, marked set of cards?
You also receive a free box of Duck’s Original Quacker Jax from with each paid order.
When putting her numbers together, I wonder if she included the odds that Moses was even a real person. I would be glad to concede to her that the chance that one probably illiterate Bronze Age cat named Moses “Made Up The Creation Account” are vanishingly small.
Probabilities [and some serious biblical scholars] suggest that Moses was not the author of Genesis.
So the chart will show that during the time of Noah’s flood there was absolutely nothing else going on in the world (I mean everyone else was dead, right?)? Egypt? China? the Americas? And then a year or so later everything right back to normal? Yeah I can see that.
How about the fact that Genesis is completely wrong to beginning with?
Did she miss that part?
God hovering over the waters on the first day? lmao
Try more than 10 billion years wrong.
What are the odds of that?
Wait, there’s a discussion about the Observations of Moses? I suspect a visit by our good friend Herman in 3…2…1…
She (or Moses) got the sequence of plant evolution wrong. Grasses appeared after other plants.
Doctor Stochastic says: “She (or Moses) got the sequence of plant evolution wrong.”
How about waiting until the fourth “day” to create the sun?
The Curmudgeon asks: “How about waiting until the fourth “day” to create the sun?”
No problem. By the Hebrew bible, a new day actually begins in the evening, at dark. So on the beginning of the fourth day of creation a full moon was rising on the eastern horizon. The moon provided plenty enough of light until god created the sun.
How did the moon provide plenty of light if the sun wasn’t shining on it? Or was the moon self-illuminating at that time?
DavidK, creationists consider this phenomenon among the brightest of God’s ideas. He created the moon so we would have a little light at night, when we need it the most.
So is that thinking akin to the creationist/ID concept of landing a spaceship on the sun, but do it at night because the sun cooler at that time?
Retired Prof: “He created the moon so we would have a little light at night, when we need it the most.”
Just not every night. He didn’t want us to get spoiled.
BTW, the Bible says that both the Sun and the Moon (as well as the stars) were placed in the firmament on day 4.
Meanwhile, it says that flying animals were created on the same day as fish (day 5) before the land animals (day 6). Which disagrees with the order according to the modern scientific account.
And it doesn’t tell us anything about the microbes or, for that matter, about anything that wouldn’t have been known about to everyone in the Ancient Near East. Nothing about radioactivity or hydrogen. (What days were those created on?) Although it tells us about things that modern science knows nothing about, such as the firmament.
My guess is that modern science has described the firmament without recognizing the connection to Genesis. It’s probably the cosmic microwave background. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
On a side note Curmudgeon, you need to get out more often. Duck North Carolina is a big tourist destination in the Outer Banks. I have been there dozens of times.